#faustration

[besmirchthis]

you know there was a word it was going to jump up alongside you in the back of the truck but the word decided it’d been side-swiped dragged off in direction one too many times so instead the word stood kicking gravel at the edge, and honestly someone needed to be there to set that gravel out of order.

[besmirchthis]

and then you say, oh yeah, THIS is why i was faustrated.

[besmirchthis]

we have fallen in that place

where all words seem as mush

and the brain begins to burn, then keeps slow fires turning.

which is not to say fire of use or fire that creates. a fire that smothers all distinction makes thought beyond a few sentences trundle incoherent. please this, stop your happening. please this, stop being such an often thing.

well. it is as it is, and i suppose i've done what i can. was nice while alertness lasted. was nice while still driving ahead. hn.

[besmirchthis]

methleigh replied to your post: so faustrated...

so, how does faust rate you? MY faust would rate you highly indeed, since he is def into rating and judging, etc. not so much with the poodles here, sorry to say. I hope they don’t feel bad. I know a poodle friend for them if so.

ah, the trouble with my faust rating is i can't seem to get a measure on it... believe my faust has already fallen into the tumult of 'oh dear oh no my time is winding down,' and all measures have been thrown out of whacking. which is a thrill in its own right, but doesn't lend itself to clear rating.

so i suppose the answer would be: confoundingly.

and how does your own faust rate YOU?

as for the poodle lack, i sup*pose* i'll have to live with it. anyway, i'd suggest that anyone looking for an in with me NOT arrive disguised as a poodle. you've a much better chance as sayyy a rottweiler or an australian cattle dog. yep.

[besmirchthis]

so faustrated you should probably send a poodle to come visit.

[besmirchthis]

but a thing you need to remember is that hearing it again, again, again doesn't make it bullshit, or not entirely. that there are reasons for these repetitions spread across the people you encounter. that shared vocabularies and similar desires produce these overlaps.

i don't know what to take from this, precisely. but it's always something to consider.

[besmirchthis]

oh, oh, ohhhh, there's that word again: faustration.

[besmirchthis]

alternate personal statement method: write 'faustration' 500 times. submit. aaaand fuckin' profit.