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thought abt bau percy again. was trying to determine if janice would use felix to insult percy or if that would be too low even for her, but i think she would. i think she'd use percy not realizing how much of a monster felix was to suggest that percy must not be a very good profiler and therefore not very good at her job

#she has minimal contact w her parents anyway but like #when janice gets pissed off. she finds a way to take it out on percy #ooc.#fbi.

[ calm ] your muse telling mine to ‘ just breathe ‘ . @eidetic187

she knows she's safe now—knows that, in the grand scheme of things, she got lucky. percy's not the first person on their team to be abducted, and she's not the first to have her past come back to haunt her. even the pit that opened in her stomach when they realized their unsub was her ex had been bearable, because nothing suggested felix would come after her. she'd always assumed herself nothing more than an alibi, part of his mask of normalcy, especially with how he'd disappeared from her life.

but he had come after her. he took her, sedated, from her hotel room.

logically, it makes sense that she's panicking. with the danger over, her mind has had a chance to process it all. he may not have physically harmed her, but he could have. he'd taken her from her hotel room, kept her sedated (we don't want you to get hurt, kid. i know you're frightened, but it'll be alright, now. we're together again.) if the team hadn't found her—

just breathe, spencer says. right. percy obediently sucks in a breath through her nose: 1, 2, 3, 4... hold, 2, 3, 4... box breathing. it helps a little; she wipes the dampness of tears away from her cheeks with shaking hands.

"i'm alright." it's a lie, and a weak one at that. her voice is thin and strained, even though her breathing has calmed somewhat. "i should have—i should have figured out that he'd fixated on me. i should have been more careful, i just didn't think... i didn't put it together." she should have. she'd known that felix's crimes were a release valve of sorts, an outlet for the frustration he felt with what he viewed as a boring, stifling life. it makes sense that he would look at her, unique, practically from another world, and obsess over her. she laughs bitterly. "and i couldn't even do anything. i could barely think straight. i just kept hoping you guys would find me."

NON-SEXUAL ACTS OF DOMINANCE (ACCEPTING)

#eidetic187 #ic.#fbi.#i think maybe felix was close to getting caught initially & his family tried to cover it up #so he had to disappear and lay low #maybe there were even charges against him that got mysteriously dropped...#anyway in their main verse he views percy as the one who got away and i think that would just be like... compounded here #and percy has always assumed she was either nothing to him or another prospective victim. but in reality he thinks she's the only one who #understands him. especially now that she's a profiler #ANYWAY <3

“ i always expect people to hurt me. because they usually do.” @eidetic187

"i understand," she says softly. her life has been short on kindness, short on closeness. despite her best efforts, she's always felt removed from others. from classmates as a child, from peers at the academy—if she wasn't excluded outright, she was looked at oddly, giggled at from behind hands. she knows that's why it was so easy for felix to gain her trust; it was the first time in her life she'd truly felt she'd belonged. the first time she'd felt accepted for who she was.

and look how that had turned out.

"i, uh," she glances around, but the rest of their teammates seem to be asleep. that's something, at least. "i've spent most of my life trying to be... normal. or trying to seem normal, at least, but it's never worked. people always see through me, it seems." a little laugh, humorless. "i wasn't a popular kid. everyone could tell i was strange. you know?"

#eigetic187 #answered.#fbi.#percy voice: we're not so different you and i