Second chance (Second guess)
They weren’t those people anymore.
At first it didn’t matter. The validation of finding someone, anyone, who understood was enough. Having an ear to listen to unbelievable horrors lessened their hold, loosened their grasp. But eventually, every moment had already been revisited. Then replayed, rewound, and rehashed. Until every moment was used up.
And what was left?
Had there been anything to begin with? Anything more than the memories that felt less and less real with each passing day? Anything more than a shared pain, a history of violence?
There was infatuation, initial passion. Physical magnetism that was undeniable and there was nothing to hold them back this time.
But then there were moments- falling out of step. An entire second life un-shared, and it wasn’t as easy to understand. Not after Levi had already said goodbye once. Buried his feelings with Erwin’s body. Not after he’d already given up.
Paths cross, but they also fork.
And it was exhausting, waiting, dreading. Living in fear. The fear of walls. The same but different. Not obvious; insidious. Walls built by moments. Fleeting, needling times where one person moves on, unaffected, while the other stops still. Grows quiet. And thinks.
I love you just a little bit less.
