Fears
When we were little, we were taught to fear lightening and thunder, monsters under the bed, and strangers.
As we got older, we feared judgement, teasing, and insecurity.
Now, what do I fear?
Broken hearts, missed opportunities, words left unsaid, and asking myself “what if...”
What I have always found to be the scariest is the unknown.
I fear not knowing what could’ve happened.
Missed opportunities.
Words left unsaid.
A constant loop of “What if...”
I fear not knowing what is going to happen.
What happens to the people I love.
What happens to my future.
What happens to my plans.
What happens to me.
However, I have found that perhaps our fears do not define us in the way we think they do.
Maybe we are not living a life of fear at all.
Maybe these fears actually portray what matters to us the most.
As children, it is our safety.
As we grow, it is the need to belong.
And now, it is all that lies behind us and all that lies ahead of us.
But not in such a dark sense.
I am not living a life of “what if...” because I fear that. Instead, I am going to take each opportunity I can to take full leap out of my comfort zone. To try new things, to tackle the obstacles that hold me back, and to not regret anything.
I am not living a life of loss. Of losing loved ones, broken hearts, and changed plans. Instead, I am going to take each moment I have with loved ones to appreciate them, love with every ounce of my body, and I am going to embrace the changes life throws at me.
And you should too.
B.J.L. 10:18 PM // February 22, 2018
