Synonymous with endless possibilities, success, and happiness, self-confidence can get you anywhere. It is the way to achieve your studies, to find a job, to keep an activity running... to live life with fun.
Yet, many of us today find it hard to raise that trust in ourselves, and we lose our ticket to a brighter journey. We struggle to accept new changes, have plenty of doubts about our capacities, and can give in to sad feelings more than only once.
What would be the perfect solution?
Well, learning to build our self-confidence with 5 easy tips.
1- Fake it until you make it
You fake something until you're good at it.
Al Yankovic
How does your attitude change your aptitude?
The fans of Legally Blonde might know the answer to this question because this is how Elle Woods has managed what was deemed impossible for her. By combining hard work and a (hilarious) imitation of the student and lawyer kind, Elle proved successful in passing the exam of the Bar.
The way you behave says much about yourself, but it also subconsciously helps you to achieve your goals. If you take the habit of looking at people in the eye, their stare will become less frightening. If you walk with your chin up, you will get used to facing the day more openly.
Smile in a way that makes you feel powerful; walk as if you were the Queen of some important kingdom; imagine yourself to be a femme fatale staring in a Hollywood movie. Act like the confident person you want to be.
It all works, as long as you fake it to make it.
2- Erase negativity from your vocabulary
Positivity attracts positivity.
Alyssa Edwards
Have you ever watched The Help? Because there is much to learn from it.
Apart from the fact that it is undoubtedly a great movie to denounce the horrible treatment that our African American sisters faced in the 60s, it also displays an interesting series of self-confidence building.
Mae Mobley, a little girl featured in the story, is constantly criticized and talked down to by her mother, who considers her useless, stupid, and ugly. In contrast to this abuse, the maid Aibileen repeats to the child several times through the movie: “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.”
Here lies the great lesson of self-confidence construction.
Fueling your mind with positive encouragements will increase your good feeling toward yourself, and if you are comfortable with who you are, results will show in your behavior.
Your subconscious is influenced by everything that we know to have a negative connotation: the “can’t”s, “don’t”s, “not”s, as well as the “ugly”s and “stupid”s, but also the lyrics of songs that talk about sad feelings and low self-esteem.
If you try to delete all those from your daily use, there is a great potential that your self-confidence will reach healthier levels. Replace the negative sentences by positive ones. It is as simple as saying “I prefer vanilla,” rather than “I don’t like chocolate,” or “I am going to do my best,” instead of “I don’t think I can do it,” or even “This would look better like this,” rather than “This is ugly.”
Yes. As simple as that.
Positivity is a crucial key to feeling good in your skin.
3- Take the space you deserve
Body language is a very powerful tool.
Deborah Bull
Studies have demonstrated that by striking open poses, we decrease our levels of stress hormones, and increase the level of hormones that boost self-confidence. As shown by those researches, sitting for two minutes while extending your limbs will give you a sensation of inner power. The social psychologist Amy Cuddy presented a Ted Talk on the topic, displaying some proof that supports the thesis that your body language may shape who you are.
Stretching is also fundamental to reactivate your blood circulation, and sending more oxygen to your brain. By being more effective at reasoning, you will be more able to see the positivity in what you do.
Sit straight, plant your feet on the ground, keep your shoulders up, and be a model of self-confidence.
4- Face new challenges
Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to be confident. Just do it, and eventually the confidence will follow.
Carrie Fisher
Have you ever felt this wave of pride and rush of adrenaline after risking something you wouldn't do on a regular basis? Chills run down your arms, and you smile, ready to do it again.
Imagine getting this kind of feeling daily.
Facing new challenges is like taking pills of self-confidence. When you prove yourself to be capable of attempting varied things, you are telling yourself that you are very valuable.
A passage of Isaac Asimov's short story “The Machine That Won the War” goes like this: “I changed a bit here and there [of some data] to correct what were obvious impossibilities. When the sky didn't collapse about us, I got braver.”
Even without context, the meaning here is clear: the character got more confident after showing himself his worth.
Facing new challenges includes learning a new language, taking dancing or painting lessons, but also actions as simple as speaking to a certain person, or cooking a new type of meal.
Things always seem incredibly difficult before we do them, but in the end we realize that we can overcome obstacles very well.
5- Pay attention to your looks
You have to look good. If you feel special about yourself then you're going to play special.
Benny Goodman
Paying attention to your looks is quite important.
First, taking the time to choose the right outfit, or the right hairstyle, means that you are taking care of yourself the way you deserve. Second, anyone who claims to have never felt a boost of self-confidence when looking in the mirror and saying, “Today, I look hella good” is lying to themselves.
Paying attention to the way you look, with the purpose of pleasing yourself, comes in combo with faking it until you make it, and is bound to bring you self-satisfaction.
You don't have to look only pretty, you have to look comfortable in your skin because it is the most empowering feeling in the world.
If you look like you can do it, you can do it.
Like any other achievement, a healthy self-confidence needs to be attained with work. Overcoming some obstacles, changing our routine, producing some effort are crucial steps toward believing in ourselves.
Still, when the success is so rewarding, the way to get there can only be enjoyed.
