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No More Room To Burn

Kaitlyn x MC (Jessica)

Request by this Anon. Based on the song “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.” i had never heard it before i got this request, so it was a interesting challenge, especially considering i like to keep thing light.

I don’t know how much Anon wanted me to base it on the song, but i just took the overall theme, as well as my interpretation of the lyrics and ran with it.

Dear Jessica.

I don’t know if I’ll ever give you this letter, because I know the moment I do. Everything I’ve been thinking, feeling. Becomes real. And I desperately don’t want that to be true.

In the beginning we were amazing, you are what I always dreamed of and the time we had was more than what I could have hoped for. But our time was also short lived. It’s carried on longer than it should of, and I take blame for that.

I’d be lying to you if said that I haven’t used you and our relationship the past few months, it turns out there is a reason why so many songs are written about heartbreak. I hate myself for it, intentionally pushing you, and pushing us to an edge, just so I could keep reopening this wound I should have left to heal a long time ago, all for the sake of my band, my songs. It was really selfish of me, and unfair on you. I see that now.

So, I’m letting you go.

I’m truly sorry, I can only hope that as a writer yourself, you can at least understand the why, and that I can continue to have you as a friend, because my only regret in all of this, was I didn’t let this die.

K.

Kaitlyn placed the pen down on the kitchen table, and she stared at the paper in front of her, eyes filling with tears, to stubborn to fall. She firmly shut her eyes, trying to will them back in as she breathed slowly, trying to calm her nerves. She folded the paper, taking her time, using every moment to reassure herself this was the right thing. She continued to sit, frozen in her seat for a while, gazing at the folded letter. It was almost like she waiting for something to change her mind. But it never came.

Kaitlyn forced herself to pick up the letter, she let out a long, drawn out breath and looked out into the hall, final destination in mind. Let’s get this over with, she thought to herself, filling with dread.

As she reluctantly walked down the hall towards Jessica’s room, she could see that it was left open ajar. She stood still for a moment, sure she could hear the faint sounds of a suppressed sob. Her heart grew heavy, a lump formed in her throat, she began to tip toe towards the door, listening intently, wanting to make sure she was correct in what she could hear.

She got to the door frame and peered through, the sight of Jessica sobbing into her pillow tore Kaitlyn apart, and left her head unravelled unsure of what direction to go. She wanted to leave, runaway back to her room and pretend she never saw her this way. But she also wanted to give her the letter, so everything could be out in the open, nothing left unsaid, she looked heartbroken anyway so why not finally put the relationship to rest. Not wanting this heartbreak to be dragged out any longer.

But most overwhelmingly, she wanted to be there, she wanted to ask what was wrong, she still cared for Jessica. Maybe this doesn’t have to be it, maybe she needs me now? She asked herself, her resolve wavering the longer she stared at her lover and best friend. Her tears had crept back up on her, her heart throbbing with every echo of Jessica’s distress. She could no longer bare seeing her this way, the unrelenting guilt already taking hold from within. Being face to face with a sight she just as easily could have caused. Kaitlyn despaired, she fled down the darkened hallway and to her room, unable to weather the storm.

Kaitlyn closed her bedroom door behind her, she took one last look at the letter she had wrote, and then ripped it up. She was stepping toward her waste bin, when she saw it out the corner of her eye. It certainly wasn’t there before she left her room earlier. Torn again, she was mournful, resentful, and she was relieved.

Dear Kaitlyn.

I’ve wrote this letter, a few times before. All of them discarded after too many changes of heart. Maybe this one will reach you.

I’m sure we were cursed from the beginning, we’ve had false start after false start.

After that night we keep dredging back up as fuel for our fallouts, things have never fully recovered, especially not for me. I should have called it then, it would have saved both of us from a lot of heartache. But I’d always see opportunities to reconcile, the road trip, the moving into the house, then our one-year anniversary that should never have been. And truthfully, I took pride in being your first girlfriend, I wanted us to work, I thought you did too for a while.

But then I always wondered why you would always bring it back up, the fight after the gig, especially since you said it hurt you so much. The more I hear you perform, the more concerts I go to, the more I learn why. I honestly thought you cared about me enough, respected our time together enough, then to needlessly torture me the way you have.

I regret i couldn’t say any of this to you face to face, and I regret I let you do this to me, this has been a long time coming, and you know It too.

I’m sorry Kaitlyn, we’ve danced our last and there is no more room to burn.

Jess.

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