Yea, well, to refer on my last post: since a while it’s like I’m sittin on a roller-coaster of feelings. I guess it’s because of the school and how stessed I can be beacause of it ‘cause I’m such a maximalist with very little self-confidence, and high school didn’t help. (from this aspect, my time in high school was a disaster) So that’s why the beginning of the university was extremely hard for me. (not just because of high school, I’ve been through a lot of things back then) And this made me totally wrecked and neurotic. I’m getting better and better in the university, but I had so many failures lately (about in the past 3 years)... exams, hobby, friends and family issues... that I can’t even tell how happy I can be when I finally succeed in something. Also, I can’t tell how freakin’ upset a new failure can make me. :(
Aaaaand that’s exactly what happened today. I messed up a test paper, that should’ve been really easy. And again, I felt terrible after that. x.x
I needed sum sleep a huge cup of coffee (with a large amount sugar) aaand a dance lesson to recover. I really love dancing :). And now I’m okay.
But at this point, it has to change. I want to old me back. The motivated, optimistic, the positive me. It’s going to be a looooong loooooooooooong way.
But I guess I’m on my way. :,) (”I’m on my way, driving at 90 on those country lanes... lol nope xD)