Of ruptured Tendons and life lessons
It has been a whole month since I have had my foot surgery. It's funny, I thought the only surgery I would ever have to do in the future is a boob job, and yet, here we are. (All because of some freak accident I got myself into while attempting to make pancakes in the kitchen.) Yup, definitely not wifey material -- so why do I even bother? lol.
It has not been easy. Aside from the physical pain, I had to go through a whole lot of roller coaster emotions. Being stuck at home, or being stuck sitting on a couch rather, makes you slowly lose your sanity. You start feeling like complete shit, you start feeling helpless and the worst part, you feel useless. Oh and let's not forget feeling left out. You see your friends and even your boyfriend having a grand time, enjoying without you, which makes you feel even shittier.
You start getting sweet messages from all sorts of people who want to check up on you, and get mixed emotions of gratitude and sadness, because it's not from the people who you expected it to be from. And it sucks knowing that if the tables were turned, I would go ALL OUT to make sure that they never feel alone. That they feel loved and that I am literally just a phone call away.
I had to snap myself out of it several times. I constantly had to remind myself that this was temporary, that “This too shall pass”. And as I started feeling a tad bit more positive, I started seeing the good in all this. For instance, I started noticing how attentive Sebastian has been.
I remember looking at Sebastian all teary eyed after he struggled to wash my hair, making sure my cast doesn't get wet. How he constantly made me tea. How he would carry pillows to the bedroom every night just to make sure my foot stays elevated. How he literally became my human alarm clock, always reminding me to take my medicine -- The little things. <3
I realized I spent so much of my time and energy bitching about this ruptured tendon without realizing that this ruptured tendon has gifted me with a few life lessons and a calm I didn't think I needed.
This circumstance has forced me to reevaluate my life and the people in it. I am not going to go into details, but I have learned a couple of complicated lessons, and I am guilty of casting a few judgments.
But as best as I can tell, humans are still capable of remarkable generosity and empathy, even if the outpouring love doesn't come from whom we ask. And I think that's great. I think that is reason enough to stretch our heart towards forgiveness and continue to see the good in life.
