#feelinglikealoser

[foreverfightingfibro]

2hrs of today were pretty good. That should count for something right?

[nakedlionesse]

Days like these.

[nopaperandpen]

A Piece of Life

      Today I'm in the city preparing for another job interview which my conniving mother made possible. She set me up with her friend's sister's company so I wouldn't be the bum-fresh-graduate-21year-old daughter so sickeningly feeding off my parents and living at their house. I'm thankful for the interview and a little excited, that I cannot deny, even if it was my mother who got it for me. The company is actually a freelance production house which is really my sort of  thing. I love handling events and productions and I've been doing it ever since high school. I won't brag that I'm good at what I do only that I'm a hardworking perfectionist. This is the second job I actually applied for which I royally like. The first is for Bodog Nation which my efficient boyfriend told me about. He knew exactly the perfect company that would fit both my personality and job preference. (This is why he is so perfect and he's the last boyfriend I'll ever have.) I'm glad to be out of the house and doing this because it makes me feel like I'm actually doing something worthwhile.

     I've been having cabin fever, stuck in the house all day, dying in the heat. I've been taking it out on my boyfriend being like a moody bitch which I regret but he understands completely. We don't see each other much anymore because I've been staying in my parents house. He plans to have dinner with me tonight after his work. He told me things would get better once I actually start working. I'd be so busy that I wouldn't miss him that much anymore and wouldn't find the smallest things annoying. I'm praying and hoping I get hired before the end of this month because I seriously need cash.

     This is really the real deal. 17 years of education to prepare me for this yet I still have no idea what I'm doing. I know what I want but now I'm second-guessing everything. I saw in a quote that the things you found most important during high school will mean nothing to you once you graduate. I just graduated college and I'm wondering if the things I wanted in college are still the things I want to achieve right now. I guess it's because my spirit is a little weak right now so I'm feeling like a total loser. Oh well. I've taken my first bite in life and I'm still chewing.

[jordneid-blog]

I'm not sure why I can't have fun anymore