Sneak Peak!
So this is an unedited draft from the chapter that will (hopefully!!) be updated ASAP. I’m really excited about this and I hope you guys are, too :)
He didn’t realize his hands were shaking until he tried to light his cigarette. He wavered, staring at the flame as it flickered and moved up and down, and then bent down regardless with the smoke in his mouth. He took a deep inhale, slipping the lighter back into his pocket, and stared into the darkness as the smoke dripped from his nose.
“What’s wrong?”
Owen sighed heavily, feeling his shoulders slump, and a burning ache through his body. “I… I fucked up, Mum.”
“With Gwen?” Owen nodded, and wished he could feel Melody’s embrace right now. He let out a slightly watery laugh, thinking about how small she would be compared to him now. “What mistakes have yah made?”
“I hurt her,” he replied immediately. “Didn’t protect her when she needed to me tah. I… I’ve used her. I’m just like da’. An’ she’s like yah--small an’ gentle, with an attitude when she’s comfortable. I’ve just fucked up.”
He couldn’t stop the burning behind his eyes and in his throat. He hated to cry. “An’ I dunno what tah do.”
“D’yah love her?”
The question hung in the air. His chest panged like his heart had stopped. He had trouble sucking in a breath, and he could hear a side comment in the silence that the smoke from the cigarette wasn’t helping. He bit his lip, and his fingers crushed the smoke. He let it fall to the ground.
Did he love her? Was he prepared to answer that? He didn’t know that he knew what love was. Flurries of memories played in his mind, when Gwennie was hurt, or laughing, or asleep. She was like a Renaissance painting, with a million emotions and ideas captured into a piece. He realized he wished he could sit in a museum and stare at her, analyze every brush stroke that created her. He wanted her for himself, just to view and adore alone.
Owen felt a small hand brush through the curls on the back of his neck, and when he turned, for a moment he could see his mum. She smiled at him.
“Yeah… Yeah, I do.”
“I think yah know what’s right, Colonial Boy,” Melody whispered. “Go on.”
He took a deep and shaky breath, and her hand disappeared. His eyes closed, a single tear dripping down his cheek, and he turned around, going back towards the door.
