Jun 13
Tfw a transfem who refers to herself as a dyke gets upset at transmascs who refer to themselves with a 'slur' (femboy)
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Tfw a transfem who refers to herself as a dyke gets upset at transmascs who refer to themselves with a 'slur' (femboy)
i feel like many transandrodorks are under the impression that not only is "femboy" not a slur, but that identifying as one makes you tme. the rest of the time they think femboy is a slur intended for them
People femboy isn’t a slur wtf are you on about. It’s been used as a self descriptor by cis and trans people for literal decades. Has it been used to deny the transness of trans women? Yes.
Has it also been used by many trans women as a stepping stone towards accepting their identities? Yes. Like, understand that when you pull this shit you’re just hurting other trans people. I know and know of at least 4 different trans women who were able to become comfortable with their identities by taking that middle step.
I don’t think people comparing “femboy” to slurs like the n-word are wrong per se, but if we want to analogize between the dehumanizing influence of fetish terms used towards transfems and black people respectively, words like “stud” or “bull” seem like much more apt points of comparison.
They’re all identity terms arising out of deeply dehumanizing sexual practices that are still fairly ingrained in the superstructure of prolific fetishes. For femboy, we’re talking about a porn genre centered on the eroticization of third-gendered subjects, which has been used at times to degender and closet trans women; for bull/stud, we’re talking about “blacked”-style raceplay and the fetishized “virility” of black men, which has a long and sordid history dating all the way back to American chattel slavery (both stud and bull reference the terms for male livestock breeders among horses and cattle; slaveowners referred to their slaves like literal farm animals).
They’re all terms which are still held up as aspiration to some degree due to their embeddedness in the superstructure of prolific fetishes. Femboys/studs/bulls are all commonly objectified, dehumanized, commodified. But leaning into these identities can sometimes mean being a hot commodity, and that can be an attractive prospect to some people.
The aspirational nature of these identities extends even outside of the marginalized groups that they harm. If being a stud/bull means being exceptionally dominant and virile, then non-black people who want to want to be those things will adopt those terms for themselves, decontextualized from the wider history. TME people who are attracted to the idea of looking like an estrogenized twink will do the same with femboy, equally ignorant to the wider context.
I am just learning about the Femboy Discourse. And I didn't know anything about it.
And you guys might already know I have two Medic OCs who love to wear dresses and other feminine clothing.
So from now on. I am just saying that my two Medic OCs and upcoming Mercs are men who love to wear feminine clothing in a way to express themselves.
If anyone have a good and respectful word on what I can use.
Please tell me.
Would you consider "femboy" a transmisogynistic slur?
Yes, I'm T.M.A.
No, I'm T.M.A.
Yes, I'm T.M.E.
No, I'm T.M.E.
Yes, I don't cleanly fit into T.M.A. or T.M.E.
No, I don't cleanly fit into T.M.A. or T.M.E.
Question!
Because I am confused more than ever!
So we all know about the F@mboy Discourse!
Many others are saying it's a slur that was used to discriminate Trans people and others are saying it's not. It's a aesthetic and style.
My question is it true? Is it a slur? Who is telling the truth?
I just don't want to accidentally offend someone.
does femboy mean NOTHING anymore? I see thin men dress in women’s clothes and all of a sudden they’re a femboy. Femboy is a specific style a specific aesthetic it’s not just cross dressing. It’s an exaggerated expression of cute femininity (as opposed to drag queens who are an exaggerated expression of beautiful femininity but I digress) anyway in conclusion stop calling all cross dressers femboys and ESPECIALLY TRANS WOMEN