College Freshman
This is the hardest time in my life so far. For the past lifetime, I have been anticipating these next few days. Emotions varying from excitement, fear, dread, anxiety, happiness, relief, and everything else a human being can experience. Tomorrow I start to mourn my childhood. I move out of my home, enter somewhere strange, and all at once am expected to successfully run my own life.
Right now I am overwhelmed. I am experiencing a great deal of denial; numbness while simultaneously experiencing every emotion at once. Tomorrow is the end of my current life, and the beginning of a new one.
What I want out of life will require me to make many more decisions that will be harder and more painful than my current situation, and I know that if I ever want to live my own life I need to be brave and strong now. It’s hard. It hurts, and I feel sick. I’m choking on the lump in my throat, and fighting the tears stinging just behind my lids. It would be easy to stay home, but I don't want to be a coward. At the end of the day, I know that my friends feel like this, that my family felt like this, and that every other person who is experiencing this transition by my side is experiencing this as well.
We all have to tear the Band-Aid off at some point, and its going to hurt- that’s a given. But, at some point you have to pave you own way; you need to live your own life. Your parents really can survive without you. If you are like me, seeing their sadness at your departure is harder to deal with than your own despair. You can't live your life with them as your crutch forever- that’s not the life they truly want for you anyways. Your family wants to see you grow, be independent and enjoy the adventure that is life. So, go live it.
Yes, your cat will miss you. Yes, you will miss them. But your not gone forever are you? Nothing is ever gone forever. Take comfort in the excitement they will feel when you walk through the front door on breaks. Sometimes we have to be away from things to truly appreciate what we have.
Be brave- a second of pain for a lifetime of glory isn't so bad after all. This pain could lead you to happiness, or it will at least lead to a learnt lesson and a greater view of the world. Go on and conquer.
