Discover Top Posts Tagged with #fexi fic

Alrighty y'all here it is. This chapter was a struggle but I really enjoyed writing it and this is probably my most favorite chapter I've written so far so I hope you all enjoy it!

Thanks again @aquamarine-dreamer for your stamp of approval 🥰🥰

Ch.14 Don’t Let Me Down

May 7th, 1968 6:08 pm

The rain fell not in a downpour, but with a gentle insistent patter, a steady rhythm against the window. It paired perfectly with the quiet calm of the evening. The living room, usually a hub of daytime energy, had become a hashed retreat with Kitty and Ash gone. The pair had left several hours ago with Faye, taking her back to her home in Bakersfield, despite Kitty being quite adamant she could stay.

Lexi looked up from her book as a car horn sounded from somewhere outside. She watched the street lights blur into elongated, shimmering pillars. The cars passing by looked fuzzy and indistinct, the details lost behind a curtain of water except for the lights coming from the headlights. Ghosts moving along the dark street.

She curled deeper into the plush armchair as ‘Love is Blue’ by Paul Mauriat played softly from the automatic high-fidelity turntable. Fez was talking to Kitty on the phone in the kitchen. Lexi could hear him laughing, causing her to smile. She could only imagine what the older woman was saying to get him to crack up.

Something struck Lexi then. The feeling was a soft, sudden surprise - a sense of belonging that had been missing in her life for years.

She felt at home.

There was another laugh and Lexi turned towards it, the very reason for this suddenly engorged heart she carried, and her smile widened.

A little exchange and I –

There was a click, and Lexi sat the book down on the end table with a sigh. Forcing herself out of the comfortable position she was in (and out of her head), she walked over to the record player, removed the vinyl carefully from the platter and replaced it back in its sleeve.

Setting the record aside, Lexi turned her attention to the others - a small but smart collection. She ran a finger over a familiar Sam Cooke cover when her eyes landed on a small, tan envelope tucked between Highway 61 Revisited and a Beatles album. Fezco O’Neill in bold official looking script was written at the top.

Maybe it was pure curiosity that made her do it, but she pulled it out.

The envelope’s contents slid into her hand easily - a folded, off-white card with the words ‘selective service system’ and ‘draft card’ printed starkly across the top. Lexi's blood ran cold, as her eyes scanned over the words.

“No,no,no…”

‘Order to report for induction’, dated December 13th, 1967 - just a few weeks before the New Year's Eve party.

Lexi honestly hadn't given the draft much thought, at least not in connection with Fez…never even considered that he would be drafted. He had given no indication that…

But Fez had been drafted, he was going to Vietnam - and worse, he apparently had known all along.

“Well, I guess grandma and Ash won't be back till Thursday…” Fez’s voice broke Lexi out of her daze, as he walked into the living room. He stopped short, the words slowly dying on his lips, a look of concern on his face. It quickly changed, and his whole body seemed to slump, his mouth settling into a thin line as he saw what she was holding in her hand and the look of shock on her face.

“What is this? Is this what I think it is?”

A sigh escaped Fez’s lips, a long, low sound that came from somewhere deep. He bowed his head, bringing a hand to the back of his neck.

“I was gonna –”

“You were gonna tell me?”

“Lexi, I didn’t -”

“When? You've known about this for five months – when?! Or were you going to just leave without saying anything?” Lexi ground the last bit out, accusing.

“Lexi, it’s not that simple.” Fez shook his head. Lexi went to take a step towards him, his words igniting a fire within her. Then he looked up, his eyes met hers, and the raw fear Lexi saw there momentarily stopped her in her tracks.

“Yes it is.” She swallowed hard, finally managing to move her feet.

“Lexi, I didn't know how to tell you.”

“You open your mouth and make words come out - very fucking simple,” her voice rose, angry... panicked.

“Lexi, if it were anyone else…someone I didn't – I don’t want to lose this. What we got goin’ on, it’s been great and -”

“What exactly do we have going on, Fezco? Huh? What have we been doing this whole time?”

Lexi saw Fez’s hand rise slightly, reaching for her. She was close enough now.

“Don’t.” Lexi's voice was low and harsh.

“What do you want me to say, Lexi?” He let his hand drop back down to his side.

“Fuck you.” She shoved the fist holding the draft card into his chest hard. Fez didn't move, didn't say anything. She wanted him to get angry…express anything but this stoic mask he had put on. “I mean, have I just been some last exploit - is that what this is? You found out you were being sent to Vietnam and decided you needed to fuck a goody two-shoes before you went off and got killed?”

Fez flinched, a smack to the face without having to use her hand, and something stirred in his eyes, like a hurricane.

“That’s fucked up, Lexi,” Fez spoke softly. “You know that’s -”

“I think it's pretty fucked up that you've been pretending everything's been fine this whole time when you knew you were leaving…that you were going to leave me.” Tears pooled in her bottom lids, she blinked, and they slid down her cheeks.

“You know that’s not true. Don’t think like that. I don't want to leave you, and…I don't want to die.” Fez paused, the words tumbling out raw and honest. “I’ve been trying to keep things as normal as possible. I can't think about it too much, you feel me? Fuck, I wasn’t expecting you to come into my life. I wasn't expecting this,” he gestured between them. “I was perfectly fine with the way things were, not happy, but I could accept all the fuckin’ bullshit – all of it. Until I couldn’t. You showed up and turned everything upside down. And maybe I was being selfish, keeping something good for myself, but I wanted it.”

“So why didn't you tell me? If you feel that way, you could have -”

Fez shook his head again. “You’re my best friend, Lexi, and fuck I’m not good at this. My whole life I've been warned not to trust this.”

“Trust what?”

“Love. That someone like you could feel that for someone like me.”

Lexi’s voice trembled. " What do you know about how I feel?” The silence hung heavy in the air between them, broken only by the drumming of rain against the window pain.

Lexi stepped closer, and Fez’s gaze dropped to the floor again.

“Why is that so hard to believe,” she continued, the anger evaporated, changed into something more vulnerable. “Why is it hard for you to believe that someone could…that I could love you? " Another beat. “Because I do.”

Fez looked up slowly, and Lexi could see the irises of his eyes had grown darker, the storm within them turning catastrophic.

“Lexi, I’m not playing.”

Something snapped. All reasoning, the carefully maintained boundaries Lexi had set - it all dissolved, replaced by a sense of urgency. She closed the distance between them, leaned in, a clumsy motion and her lips found his. Her hands fumbled until they found purchase at the back of his neck, pulling him closer, her fingers digging into the hair at his nape.

The gesture was possessive, desperate and Lexi knew she should put a stop to it, but his hands found her waist. He was kissing her back, pressing and smothering her mouth with his own, just as starved as she was.

They were no longer in control, but a button had been pressed, weaving and splicing their souls together, reinforcing and nodding the thread that connected them.

Fez’s large, warm hands left a trail of fire as they slowly rose, and skimmed along her ribs. Lexi finally pulled back in a quick jerk, eyes burning and breathless, her chest heaving and face flush.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to –”

“Yes, you did.” Fez’s chest rose and fell rapidly, his eyes glowed, as he looked at Lexi. “It ain’t just me.” His hand rose, fingertips touching her jaw, then both hands were fully cupping her face, holding her just mere inches away.

“I know it’s not.” The sheer certainty in those words left Lexi lightheaded.

“No,” she breathed out.

“No, what?”

“It’s not just you,” Lexi replied quietly, tears still tracking down her cheeks. Their lips met again, soft and timid this time. Less chaos.

Lexi’s hands trailed from Fez’s neck down to his broad shoulders, then down to his chest. Her fingers arched and flexed against the expanse of lean muscle there, and she could feel the erratic beating of his heart, even as her hands continued lower over the flat plane of his stomach. She lightly brushed the waistband of his pants, as her hands slipped under the bottom of his shirt.

Lexi wasn't sure what to expect, but she knew that whatever was about to happen, she wasn't going to stop it - she didn't want to.

Her lips moved to his jaw…

“Lexi?” Fez’s voice is a delicious bass that boils the blood in her veins, but it makes her pause, and she pulls away to look at him. “Are you sure?”

She stares at him for a moment, before nodding dumbly, too scared to speak. Bright, hungry, cerulean orbs pierce her soul, as his fingers find the hem of her skirt.

9:21 pm

Lexi’s mind was buzzing and vibrating like a bee’s nest. Her heart beat rapidly at the feel of Fez’s arm clutching her to him, the feel of his warm, bare chest expanding against her back with every breath he took, a stark reminder of the boundary they just crossed.

She tried to make sense of it, this desperate thing, born of shock and a shared hunger to hold on to something tangible. But the buzzing only got louder, pulling from her chest and spreading to her calves.

Lexi closed her eyes tight.

She didn't regret it. She couldn't, but it still left her feeling uneasy. Not for the act itself, but for the mess it had created.

This definitely wasn't how she imagined this would happen. Lexi didn’t know what they were. Were they lovers now, or was this a momentary lapse in judgment, a foolish attempt on her part to hold on to this little bit of heaven for a little while longer?

She didn’t know.

Now Fez was going away – to war! The possibility of a future with him snuffed out, just like that, nothing more than a lovely daydream. And just when things felt right.

That should have been her first clue.

Life always did have this cruel way of reminding Lexi exactly why she chose her imagination and books over reality.

She had wanted to feel close to him, to say goodbye in a way that all her fancy words couldn't. But in reaching for that closeness, she'd only made the goodbye more painful. Now Lexi wondered if the intimacy had created a bond that would only serve to hurt them both.

The arm Fez held her with suddenly gave her a gentle squeeze, as if sensing her distress.

“Fez?”

“Yeah…”

“Are you okay?” The question sounded stupid, even to Lexi, but she needed to know…she needed to hear his voice.

“Are you?” Fez countered, and the minefield of implications didn't go unnoticed.

Lexi sighed, torn if she should be honest or not.

“Yes.” A lie.

“You sure?”

“I don’t know.” Truth. “I’m just worried, you know? I mean, what comes next?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, " he murmured, his breath whispering against her skin. “We’ll write every day. I'll tell you all about the jungle, and you can tell me about your next play. "

“What if…,” Lexi’s voice was small, the tears returning. “What if you don't come back at all?”

Silence. Lexi's mind and mouth filled with every moment Fez didn't speak. She felt the course hair of his beard as he placed a kiss to her shoulder.

“I don't know. I hope you move on…continue living yo life…or I wouldn't mind haunting you.”

Lexi scoffed, despite her heart squeezing painfully. How could she just move on after this? In this moment, just the notion, the very idea felt impossible. She really had fucked up.

“We shouldn't have done this,” Lexi whispered, more to herself than anything. She could feel Fez's body freeze behind her and instantly wished she could take the words back.

“Probably not, but it's too late now…” It was the first time she had heard true hurt in Fez’s voice.

“I don't regret this, " she backtracked, squeezing his arm. “I’m just afraid. I'm afraid for you, and I'm afraid I’ve fucked this whole thing up…for the both of us - I know I have. "

“How’s that?”

“Like, maybe I’ve - I didn't want to make things harder, but after this…”

“Lexi, you didn’t fuck anything up. This was always gonna be hard.”

“I know…”

“If anyone made things harder it was me, and I get it if you're mad. I should’ve told you. I'm sorry I didn't.”

His words should have provided some comfort – in a way they did. Truth is, Lexi wasn't mad, not anymore, but there was still something that hadn't been brought up yet, something that would make this whole nightmare real, and she was too terrified to ask.

Lexi drew a deep, shuttering breath, steeling herself and swallowed down the fear, sent it to the pit of her stomach, where it would hopefully be dissolved by the churning acid and bile.

“When do you leave?”

“The seventeenth.”

“Jesus…” Lexi breathed out. Ten days…it wasn't enough time.

“Lexi, imma bout to do something stupid, okay?”

“Fez…” Panic hitched her voice.

“I promise you I'll come back…no matter what.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can,” Fez insisted, a fierce determination in his voice. Lexi angled herself so she could look at him. She wanted to believe Fez more than anything in the world. “You’ll see.”

Lexi fully turned her body, and Fez pulled her flush against his chest. She inhaled deeply, trying to commit the scent of him, sear it into her mind. His hand stroked her hair, a gesture meant to soothe, but which only fed the growing visceral fear inside her.

How could she leave now? She'd have to, and sooner rather than later. It was late, and Suze Howard would eventually wake from her stupor, and Lexi didn’t feel like answering a million questions.

She also needed to think - process everything by herself.

Lexi shifted, intending to rise before she could change her mind.

“Can you stay,” Fez murmured against her hair, his voice low, a quiet rumble. “Just a little bit longer?”

Lexi's resolve crumbled, as Fez’s grip tightened around her.

“Yeah…just for a little while.”

“You won’t get in trouble?”

Probably, Lexi thought, but…

“I don’t care,” she whispered, burying her face in his chest again.

#angus cloud #euphoria #fezco #love #fexi fic #ao3 #fez and lexi #fexi