Hi! I hope you're doing well. I'm dropping by to tell you that I just finished FFaSS and it rewired the part of my brain that hadn't already been rewired by Are you going to cry, baby?. I'm the clown who just left a novel of a comment on Ao3; I stumbled upon this (your) blog yesterda, and when I realised you were the wizard who'd written AYGTCB (which I'd literally just finished reading for the second time in a week) I was like, Well that's a sign to go read that zombie AU that will surely be as emotionally devastating as it looks.
(I was correct.) (It's going to live in my mind for weeks.)
That aside, your fic reading club is a tremendous idea. Don't forget to feature yourself in there at some point though.
Cheers x
AHHH thank you so so much! Honestly your comment was so lovely and made me tear up a bit because I really put a lot into that fic and im so glad its resonating with people. honestly like trying to reply to this and im rereading your comment and getting emotional again cos like i feel like this is why i write fic yanno? to just share this feeling with others and that fic was A RIDE. like at one time i was in the alps in a research hut for 2 weeks no wifi writing this in my evenings with the laptop plugged into a charger that only charged for 1hr a day lol while writing i think the lake scene? Like this fic truly travelled with me in my heart and mind for so long and through so much and it was and is still a delight to share it with people and to continue to get to think and talk about it. I (maybe not so secretly) want to be a writer and one of the things i have always wanted to write is a zombie novel, more for the horror of people in adverse situations and human love and resilience, rather than the horror of zombies themselves, but life is busy and winding and never straightforward and im on a different path so im just really glad i could write this story in some capacity and especially as fic so i can share it. Idk i just never get tired of talking about this and when people comment or message it just makes me so happy so just- thank you for the comment and thanks for this message man. (also for AYGTCB which i have a slightly more complicated relationship with and wish i could rewrite but its still also very special to me and im so glad people like that one too)
Lewis, a fashion designer dropped in The Compound (formerly known as Britain) for his political dissent, meets Sebastian, a former F1 mechanic who survived the first outbreak and has lived in The Compound for over a decade. Together, the two of them go on a life altering 560 mile journey, navigating zombie infested waters (literally), criminal gangs and shared trauma as they find out what it really means to survive.
feeling really weird about fatal flaws and saline shores being completed. like it's been such a journey writing it and it's helped me through a lot of stuff this past year and i've loved the process of it and it kinda doesn't feel real that it's over? AYGTCB was the longest thing I'd ever written until this which clocks in at 130k words and I just feel really anticlimatic posting it ahah
7 and 9 for fatal flaws and saline shores, if you will :)))) xx
Thank you for this!! Love talking about this fic aha
7: Where did the title come from?
So it's of a mix of lyrics and themes of the fic! I was listening to a lot of Andrew Bird at the time and had 'make a picture' on repeat which has the lyrics 'awoken with the fatal flaw' so fatal flaws comes half from that and half from the fact that a lot of the themes of the fic are around how they navigate their perceived flaws in adversity. In the next few chapters this becomes particularly relevant I think. Saline shores comes from the parasites being contained by freshwater and trapped in Britain due to the saltwater, and when I started the fic I had this one scene in my mind of them on a beach which spoiler will happen in a few chapters so its really a mix of those two things into a title!
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
I originally started writing this a few years ago as a short lesbian story that had nothing to do with fanfiction and abandoned it and then restarted it and changed it to fit the sewis vibes ahah. In terms of as a fic I feel like it changes every time I add a new chapter- like I'll plan it out and then write something completely different. The whole fic was planned one way and now ive just written a chapter and introduced Kimi so who knows what the fics doing!
hello! love love fatal flaws and saline shores! loved the update it was so fluffy. i was grinning the entire time reading it. have a question if you’re up for answering fic asks. were these always the dynamics you imaged for them as a couple or did they change as you wrote the fic?
Thank you! And thank you for the ask I absolutely love talking about fics and stuff so really appreciate any questions!! I'm sorry this answer got a little long and became a bit of a commentary on sewis fics, writing processes and what I want this fic to be but hopefully I somewhat answer your question!
I think this is a super interesting question because I think how I work as a writer I plan a skeletal plot and character development but I'm very much influenced by how the writing evolves and I do a lot of 'okay so if I was in Sebastian/Lewis' shoes right now how would I feel what would I want to say/do/react- and theres a lot of phoning @monacobasedgirldad and being like 'if i said this to you- how would you react' getting that feedback and then being like 'okay now how would you react if you were Sebastian Vettel and you've been through x y z situation' and then drawing on both the real life reactions, and mixing those with how I feel these characters, going what they've gone through, would react to try and create something realistic.
I think my vibe as a writer is definitely setting up them as characters based on them as people, their backstory in specific fics and then throwing them into situations- so I feel like their dynamic definitely changes depending on how the writing is going.
For this fic the rough outline of a dynamic I wanted for them as a couple was: 1) i wanted to explore mistrust and fear and the helplessness of putting your trust in a stranger in extreme circumstances at the start of the fic, 2) negotiating Sebastian's prolonged PTSD, survivors guilt, loneliness, touch starvation with Lewis' relatively recent PTSD and hope, and 3) the dynamic of finding love in extreme circumstances and this idea of quickly bonding in intense situations. Then theres some stuff to come where I wont spoil it but I want to explore some other dynamics through their relationship.
I think what I didn't expect to become so prominent in their dynamic as a couple was the propensity for Sebastian to be willing to sacrifice himself and the apathy he seems to have to his own personal survival. I think that aspect, and how Lewis becomes aware and navigates that, has become a central theme and is really interesting to me as a writer to explore. It's not something I set out to do or imagined at the start. I'd be super interested to hear what your thoughts are on their dynamic and what you're taking from the fic so far?
Another thing I think thats so central to my wtiting of this fic and their dynamic as a couple is wanting to write good zombie media. I've always had a bit of a weird fascination with zombie media and its scared me so much and really gets to me but in a way that I sometimes can't put into words. This fic is written with a LOT of help from @monacobasedgirldad and they can sum it up a lot better than me so let me paraphrase them:
zombie media is a vehicle for exploring humanity and human connection, it's not about the zombies it's about the many ways in which people respond to that and interact with the world and each other. this fic specifically is such a personal journey, it's about hope
survival in the face of great horrors and the complexities of humanity
with the complexities of trauma. For Seb at the start has no hope of making it out of this but still he persists. Then Lewis stumbles into his life and offers him a way out of this. Neither would make it without the other. Like Seb would never know there was a way out and Lewis hasn't faced enough of the Compound and learnt the necessary skills to survive the journey on his own. Changing both of their circumstances so drastically gives so much room for them to grow into something other throughout their journey, learning more about themselves and each other. Choosing not just to survive but daring to hope for something more, choosing to find small joys through the horrors. It might be horrible times for them but the love is there and despite everything they've still chosen to trust each other. There is something very specific about zombie media in how widespread it is and how vulnerable people are in a zombie apocolypse.
This for me really shapes their dynamic and I think the more I get into what is making a good zombie novel for me the more it changes how their dynamic as a couple feeds into that and creates that sense of hope and humanity. Hopefully thats coming across!!
A final note I kind wanna talk about which I think effects how I write them as a couple is fandom characterisations of Lewis and Sebastian in general and how that ties into my aims with this fic. I love writing and I love improving my writing and i adore how supportive fandom spaces are for this. I love using fanfic as a tool to improve my own writing and share ideas and stories with people and I've always wanted to write a zombie novel and this is such a fun space to do that in. BUT as much as it's important to me to write well and write a compelling story it's also important to me that its Lewis and Seb. That it's their story, and that you can see them in it. I think I'm still working on this and working on not losing them as people/ characters when I put them in these whacky situations. ((any constructive feedback is always welcome)). One of the things I think I don't quite get right sometimes is my characterisation of Sebastian.
I think this fandom has so so so many great sewis fics (and other pairings) with incredible characterisations of Sebastian- some of my favs being Lucky Thirteen, Misalignment and Entanglement by @azzy421 which are sensational fics that weave the real essence of Sebastian (and Lewis) with all these different situations and it creates such an engaging read because it really feels like Sebastian you know? They so sensitively portray all these deeper themes of self identify and depression and self worth with a Sebastian that never loses a sense of the Seb Vet we all know and love. Similarly if i should come upon your house lonely by withfeathers is an incredibly nuanced portrayal of them both and the way they each hold insecurities within a developing relationship whilst still feeling so very very them. Then theres head over heels by Jolach which I think beyond being an incredibly hot fic really stuck with me in the way that Sebastian handles his feelings and processes things. I love the way Sebastian is sometimes unreadable and I think that comes through in this fic really well. Theres a bunch of other fics too that I love but this is in danger of becoming too long/ a fic rec discussion so I'll just say that one of the things I'm working on is trying to get this nuance of Sebastians character and essence whilst fitting him into fics. (Lewis too but I feel like I just project onto him a lot lol). I feel like sometimes I make him too depressed or traumatised etc and loose his essence.
I think dropping them into insane situations like living alone for 10 years in a zombie apocalypse is obviously going to change them as people, but I'd like to work on building more of Sebastians characteristics into the fic and I feel like that also shapes how they work as a couple and their dynamics if that makes sense?
So I feel like to answer your question- theyve definitely changed as I've written it- both as a result of the story and my development as a writer and I have lots planned for this fic and yet no clear idea of where thats going to take me with them- which is what makes writing so exciting for me!!!
Sorry this was long- I hope it was a fun insight into my brain. As a side note I love talking about this stuff so feel free to shoot me any asks or if you want directors commentary stuff on any parts of the fic lemme know!!
Okay okay okay, I will write proper comments, but I HAVE to let you know now how fucking incredible Fatal Flaws and Saline Shores is! 😭😭😭 I just finished the new chapter and my brain honestly isn't equipped to comprehend how perfect this fic already feels! I have been craving something postapocalyptic in this fandom for so long and at first I thought you actually read my mind somehow, but this is far beyond anything I could have imagined! I cried, hard! THANK YOU 😭😘
Thank you soooo much for this ❤️ this fic has consumed me body and soul! I thought I’d answer this with a bit of info on the themes of the fic with some thoughts from @monacobasedgirldad (who came up with the zombie concept and betas the work and generally helps so much might as well be a coauthor)
What I think we both really like in zombie stories and media is how it’s never really about the zombies but about the how people cope in extreme adversity and how relationships and morals are changed and tested etc.
For me, the real cornerstone of this fic is an exploration of trauma through the use of apocalypse settings and zombies. That’s what I wanted to explore really, alongside the hope and love that can grow between people in extreme situations. So I really hope that comes out in the fic!
This fic also won’t just end when they’re safe, because trauma doesn’t end when the zombies are removed you know? I wanted to explore how this would shape them as people and how they would deal with that. It’s about Sebastian’s lack of understanding of how to process the chance at a normal life and the happiness he feels along with survivors guilt. It’s about the threads of his trauma through everyday actions not just big panic attacks you know?
