#ffhpersonal

[fightingforhappy-blog]

having huge anxiety about our works meal next week. they all decided on pizza hut and were like 'oh is that okay Charlie?' and I looked at them and I could feel my heart racing and I just replied 'yeah, that's fine' none of them know of my eating disorder but they know I eat healthy (I always turn down doughnuts/biscuits/cakes they offer me) but they were a little patronising in the way they stated 'don't worry, we'll eat all the pizza and you can raid the salad cart!'

not only that but they decided to meet there for 8.30pm. EIGHT THIRTY PM I MEAN HOW THE HELL CAN I EAT AT THAT TIME. eh

no matter where we could go to eat I wouldn't be happy so I may as well just shut up and deal with it

[fightingforhappy-blog]

I just dropped my fruit salad all over the floor :(

[fightingforhappy-blog]

why am I so hungry? GR

anything I'm eating, I'm still hungry after, I've been awake for 4 hours and I've had 2 bowls of oatmeal, a bowl of bran flakes, two petit filous yoghurts, a carrot and a square of dark chocolate - EH. And about 3 bottles of water. I planned to go for a run and workout today anyway but it's seemingly proving to be necessary.

[fightingforhappy-blog]

frustrating remarks Dad has made as of late

"why are you buying so much vegetarian food? please don't tell me you're turning veggie?"

"you have to eat it otherwise I've just wasted that money!"

"I bought it because it was on offer and I thought you might like it but if not then fine, I won't bother next time"

"why don't you eat that anymore when you used too?"

"life is too short to be spending all your time looking at the nutritional values of everything"

[fightingforhappy-blog]

so after finishing the couch to 5k training on Sunday I had originally decided to start the 10k training on the Monday however my ankle really hadn't healed too well so I took the week off, thankfully it's healed pretty well and ballet is no longer suffering for it (thank goodness as our show is in like 5 weeks) and I was going to start the 10k training yesterday but starting next week I'm completing my Level 2 course for swimming and will literally have no time to do the runs as I'm having to skip uni during the day for the course and catch up on it each evening.

I feel proper guilty, and pretty lazy for it if I'm honest but for this week I'm just trying to run anytime that I can. I just don't want to start the training and then a week into it not have the time to continue with the daily runs. 

[fightingforhappy-blog]

mental health awareness week on bbc radio 1

listen out on bbc radio 1 at 5.45pm about the important issue on mental health money cuts - myself and others share our experience and views.

[fightingforhappy-blog]

finished couch to 5k yesterday and I'm now on a new 10k training programme. I'm proud at how far I have come so far, and to finish the 5k training was one of my new years resolutions, so anything from here on in is a bonus.

[fightingforhappy-blog]

birthday girl!

work all morning/afternoon, come home, finish my couch to 5k (WOOO!) and then back to work. BUT HEY, I had oatmeal and banana for breakfast so I'm smiling!