#fi lore

[valyrfia]

for those of you who haven’t been in long term relationships let me let you in on a little secret that i’ve found DELIGHTFUL. a long term relationship isn’t really one big/long relationship, it’s lot of little relationships that you just happen to have with the same person

[valyrfia]

HIYAAA happy pride!!!

can you share with us how you and you’re girlfriend came to be together ? i need more lesbianism in my life

i love lesbianism <3

it's not a very exciting story on the surface....we matched on tinder and i never wanted to talk to anyone else after the first message. however UNDER the surface.....

the actual story is that we were in the same course in undergrad and had kind of the same friend group, we met on a social and i bumped into her in the bathrooms and i was so taken with her in hindsight (i wasn't out yet!). after the social they all went clubbing and i stupidly dragged one of my best friends out to a bar instead to meet my 'crush' that i had of course so naturally and not at all forced-by-my-flatmates handpicked. that night she got back together with her ex, and i made a fool of myself in front of a guy i was only interested in for external validation...

the world moved on, her and her ex ended horrendously, i got with a boy in march 2020 and was so taken by the thrill of the chase that we ended up in a lockdown relationship (also my first proper relationship) which was super convenient considering i didn't have to see or touch him. come august 2020 i had fallen in love with a redhead lesbian that i met online (s/o to you el, we stopped talking when dsmp collapsed but hope you're doing well) and had the much overdue but full-blown sexuality crashout. picked many a fight with my then-boyfriend and actually acted horrendously towards him because i realised i actually couldn't outrun the fact that i was a lesbian for much longer. we split up in september 2020 once i actually had to you know....be with him in person again.

september 2020 is ALSO when my now-girlfriend posted this pic to instagram which was just her...poised against a table smiling at golden hour in a kitchen. i was so taken i'll admit i would sit for minutes at a time looking at this picture, and would keep going back to it. i was definitely 'trying on' my sexuality at this point, trying to sit with feelings i finally realised WERE attraction and this picture was a big part of it. i was on tinder at this point, but conversations were going nowhere and everything was falling flat. i was getting over my ex, while also still talking to him because i valued his friendship and because i was bored and messy stringing him along a little. then one night i was on tinder and THERE she was. that same damn kitchen picture the first picture on her profile. i swiped right immediately and she....didn't. in fact she didn't respond for two weeks. suddenly at about 10:30 at night i was on call with a friend and i got a little message that we had matched and the scream i let out....loudest 'YES' ever. she sent the first message, i immediately messaged back and we've been talking ever since.

there's a bit more to the story, we went on our first date a week later (7 hours sat talking in a coffee shop thank you), my housemate texted me during that date saying she had lost all sense of smell...we had to isolate for 14 days and there was a nationwide lockdown, in december i pushed back my date to go home for xmas by two weeks just so i could spend time with her, we became official right before xmas and then because of lockdowns immediately went long distance with no reprieve for four months. also it has come out in the years since that while i was having this romantic 'got the girl' moment in my head she had messaged FOURTEEN other girls on tinder that night. anyway love that woman in ways i can't even begin to explain, we're going on officially a 'long time' now. she gave me the courage to come out to friends, family, workplaces, the world, to get comfortable with the fact that i didn't like men and i was in fact, a fully blown lesbian. i'm so privileged to know love like this, and SO privileged to be out and loud and proud about it, it's not something i'd ever take for granted. happy pride! <3

[valyrfia]

girl ur the same age as oscar???? ur 23??????? what the hell i thought you were like at least 27 or something

I'm 24 lol but yeah same age as Oscar to within weeks, hence why my soft spot for him exists really.

[valyrfia]

you have too many angry anons asking stuff so i wanted to send a nice ask, consider this an invitation to talk about something that makes you happy 💕

thank you my dear <3 it's very much appreciated. I would usually block them but it's the first day of my period and I'm cranky and geared for a fight anyway.

Something that makes me happy......I think I would be called a massive simp/boring if I just said my girlfriend, but she's a massive part of my happiness and such a solid rock I'm learning is okay to rely on. My job too! Research is hard and sometimes I feel like quitting constantly, but I've got a result incompatible with current literature, which freaked me out for MONTHS but now I've presented it at a conference and I feel much more secure in my own work. I've also started to actually take on my own projects independent of supervisory guidance and build my own network. Still need to actually lock myself away and write my thesis/a paper but at the moment my job is something I take a lot of pride in.

More generally, spring and the returning light. Can't wait for 10pm sunsets/no sunsets again. I've traveled a lot this year already and was lucky enough to see the aurora in the Lofoten Islands last month (which I'm never forgetting ever), and have a lot lined up, not least of all Monaco again where I will curse that orange car a thousand timesfold. I've got great friends I'm making more of an effort to visit/see. I'm writing and reading much more again, and I just love stories. I adore relationships and dynamics and reading and thinking and pondering about those, I love prose where you get to unpick it layer by layer. F1 RPF also makes me indescribably happy, thank you to the 30 people who love my wag yuri posting, the five or so who love my Charlando posting and thanks to the rest of you who bemusedly put up with it while sometimes delivering a "I don't get it but happy 4 u".

This just turned into a list of things I'm grateful for, but it's all things that makes me happy, so it counts <3.

[valyrfia]

cat content under the cut

my sister’s second son and the cone of shame

[valyrfia]

everyone shut up and look at the colour of this sky!

[valyrfia]

just opened my logbook for Scientific Record of the Present Day and wrote the date…..25/02/19……

[valyrfia]

arrived at the airport 45 mins before my international flight….still made my plane