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"Oh, you know... the usual."

NPC: “Some strange things happen around here, you know.”

Kenny: “Like what?”

NPC: ”Cults, fish people… that sort of superstitious stuff. Why, what’s it like out in Colorado? Got any cryptids out there?”

Kenny: “We have crab people.”

NPC: “...Oh?”

Kenny: “Aliens… Elder Gods, that sort of thing. Pretty usual.”

#it's funny because these things aren't actually cryptids #the NPC is just a random lady tbh #she kinda has a role but like... idk if I'll stick with it or not #like I'm 110% expecting to retcon so much of this fic before I even start this series lmaooo #this is me compromising with myself and not just posting a whole fucking spoiler section of this fic like I debated on doing 5 minutes ago #8D #fic dev #fic ideas #delete later #I know it's technically a New Kid centric sideblog but like #technically it's an excerpt from a fic that INCLUDES one #so I'm rolling with that :'DDDDDDDDD #I like the idea of everyone in South Park just being kinda chill with all the insane shit that goes on #Kenny especially has a LOT of experience with this shit lmao #like 'bitch please - I've met Cthulhu and... lived. Died but lived.'#10/10 #anyway sorry I haven't been updating much - life's been... one really super big collective sigh p much lmaooo #I have some stuff on a backlog but idk when I'll get a chance to post it tbh

(Kenny): “What was it called…? Necronomicon. That’s what it was called. It also mentioned something about ‘strange aeons’.”

(Ty): << In strange aeons even death may die? >>

(Kenny): “How-?”

(Ty): << The Cthulhu Wiki tells all, dude. >>

(Kenny): “Huh. Go figure.”

#fic dev #delete later #ideas #fic ideas

Cartman: "This isn't just some minor infraction we can look over, like TP-ing Kenny's house. This is big. Like... I don't think you get how BIG this is, Douchebag."

Stan: "The whole school knows."

Kyle: "The whole school?"

Token: "Douchebag's friends with everyone at school on Facebook, dude. The girls tagged him in their post, so everyone saw it. Even the teachers know!"

Tweek: "Holy shit, I'm glad I'm not you right now, Douchebag."

Kyle: "Shit, dude..."

Cartman: "There's no gettin' around it, Kheyl. Everyone knows, an' everyone's talking."

Butters: "Yeah-uh, even my dad mentioned it yesterday b-before I got grounded for 'snoopin'' on people's profiles."

[Cartman puts a hand on Butter's shoulder, with a thoughtful expression on his face]

Cartman: "Even Butters' dad knows, Douchebag. THAT’S how big this is."

#fic dev #i come back from the grave to bring u this excerpt I re-discovered #but without the context because imo it might be funnier that way #just checked and I technically have posted this before - but only the first bit #idk why I didn't include the part with Butters cuz it makes it way better lmao #there's a part later in this that really slaps a date on when I wrote this #cuz it mentions those like 'bad' pictures of Beyonce from that concert that went around like a couple years ago #and how they tried deleting them but people would just keep reposting them anyway cuz once its out in the internet #its there forever #ahh... simpler times #Part of me still wants to come back to this series I was writing... but I can only be hyper-fixated on one thing at a time #that's my big character flaw

Rate ur friend on a scale of “kind of a dick” to “we almost died like seventeen times in the past two months”.

Kenny is a solid “traversed other dimensions on a Friday Night”.

#fic dev #excerpt #fic idea #dialogue #tru story tho #kenny is like standing by a metal flagpole during a storm #just... kinda attracts unfortunate events #could even call it... a series of unfortunate events #and unfortunately with Douchebag’s track record - he too gets into his fair share of ‘close encounters of the bad kind’

Exchange Programs suck

Ty was tapped on the shoulder from a seat behind him to his left, and turned to see who it was. The face wasn’t quite who he was expecting, and the kid obviously felt the same.

“Hey. I wasn’t expectin’ to see you again. Especially around here. How’s it going, kid?”

<< As good as it can be I guess >> << you? >>

Zane waved his hand in a ‘so-so’ gesture, “Eh. Things’ve been pretty boring lately to be honest. Until you guys showed up, anyway. Part of that weird exchange thing?”

<< Yep >>

He smirked and leaned back in his seat, “Yeah, I don’t see why they even gotta do this, man. Parents are the worst.”

<< Parents? >>

“Yeah, didn't you hear? They were worried for our precious education, and complained about it. Now we have a stupid exchange thing for like two weeks, just swappin’ random kids into classes like it’s nuthin’. Crazy shit.” He flashed a toothy grin - Ty noticed he was missing a tooth on the bottom since last time, “I was pissed I didn’t get picked… but at least we have one cool kid here instead. Take you over Thomas any day of the week.”

An unfamiliar voice rang out from the far side of the classroom after a cackle, “God, Zane. Reunited with your boyfriend much?”

Zane tensed instantly, but his voice was calm, “Oh, go blow your dead dog, Connor. No one cares.”

The kid’s face immediately twisted up at the comment, but he didn’t get up from his seat, as a couple other boys snickered around them. Zane turned back to Ty and gave a nonchalant shrug, “He’s a dick, don’t even give ‘im the time of day.” He then caught a glimpse of Kyle a few seats to Ty’s right, and raised his brows, “He’s a little familiar… wasn’t that the kid all your buddies ripped on for being Jewish?”

Hearing the word ‘Jewish’, Kyle immediately turned to look at Ty and Zane, who were sort of gawking in his direction at the mention, “...what?”

Upon hearing his voice, he abruptly slammed his hand down on the desk and pointed, “I knew it! It is that kid!” He sat back in his chair, glanced at Ty with a smug grin, “The teach was full of shit when he said I couldn’t remember jack.”

#fic dev #fic idea #haven't decided if it's spoilery or not yet since idk if I'll use the idea #but hey it's an idea nonetheless!#it's kind of spoilery in the sense that I plan on having Zane make a cameo... but technically it's an extra side-story soooooo #8D #anyway I'm just super nervous rn so I wanna post something to take some stress off before I go #I might #delete later #depending on how I'm feeling about this one #It's nice to elaborate more on Zane a bit - even if it's not HIS canon #(like it sorta is but things are tweaked a bit naturally)

(Kenny): “...I’m not so sure, Douchebag. We’re not Fourth Graders anymore. It’s getting harder to pull this shit off.”

<< That’s why we have contingency plans >>

(Kenny): “...what? ‘Contingency’? Do you even know what that means?”

<< Nope. It just kind of sounded right to throw in >>

(Kenny): “That’s reassuring.”

#fic dev #quiet boy #bending canon #same Ty. Saaame.#I kind of hate how this fic revolving more around Kenny than anything is like... my baby #because it's set so far ahead in the timeline I'm plotting out lmaoooooo #rip me

(Kenny): “I think EVERYONE’S trigger is Eric-fucking-Cartman.”

“You talk about him like that, but I thought you guys were friends since like… ever?”

(Kenny): “That’s what HE told you, yeah? He’s… he’s got these super, SUPER fucking rare moments when he’s actually not that bad a guy to hang out with… but they don’t last long. You get sick of waiting for more ‘good moments’ to happen, and just kind of put up with the rest of the bullshit. I mean… YOU know what he’s like by now, surely? The shit he put you through… kid’s a fucking sadistic twat.”

#delete later #fic dev #let's be real though: at times they DO act all buddy-buddy #but those moments seem few and far between #(then again I have way too much of the fucking show to catch up on so I mean... rip me)#also uhhhhhhhhhhh I'm not good with insults so I mean #I'm pulling from my backlog lmao