Fictober Day 31: When You Say The Words (I still love you)
Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober25
A short all things post-ep
~
How ridiculous, she thinks, as she drives away from Mulder’s apartment in the dawn, sneaking away as if she’s regretting what they did last night. She’s on autopilot, her brain repeating last night like a broken record. Daniel. Mulder. The couch. Touching. Kissing. Skin on skin. Fragments flicker before her mind’s eye, making it difficult to focus on anything else. What will Mulder think when he wakes up and finds her gone, only the scent of her left on his bedding?
She stops at a red light, staring straight ahead. I still love you - that’s what Daniel had said. That’s what he’d used to convince her to come back to him. Words that made her run - not just from him, but from her own feelings. She doesn’t love Daniel anymore. Maybe she never did. Just a foolish crush. That’s what Melissa had said back then. Oh, Melissa. How she misses her sister. If only she could talk to her now, ask for her advice. Though she knows what her sister would say. She knows what her sister would think about her leaving Mulder’s apartment without even a note.
The light turns green, and she steps on the gas. Thoughts of Daniel fade and are replaced by thoughts of Mulder. Of his strong, warm hands on her. His deep chuckle when she begged him to touch her. Her skin burns with the phantom memory of his fingers. Scully signals and realizes she’s doing it all wrong. She knew it the moment Daniel said he still loved her. Because her first thought had been that she’d never told Mulder how she feels. It had always been Mulder saying the words, never her. Even now, after consummating their relationship, she still hasn’t told him. No, instead she slipped out of his arms and out of his apartment.
She stops at a coffee shop and picks up two coffees and a Danish, feeling adventurous, invigorated. Back in the car, she turns around and drives back the way she came. She’s done running away.
Scully uses her key to let herself into the apartment. It’s still quiet, still dark inside. She puts the coffees and the Danish on the table, kicks off her heels, and gently pushes the half-open bedroom door. Mulder’s head comes up, his hair a mess, a hesitant smile on his face.
“I thought you’d gone home,” he says, voice heavy with sleep.
“I wanted to,” she says, and his smile falters. “I changed my mind. I got us coffee and a Danish.”
“Why?”
“It’s morning. I thought we could use some extra energy.” She smiles at him.
“I mean, why did you leave? Why did you come back?” She doesn’t think. Just this once, she wants her emotions to take the wheel. She takes off her blazer and crawls back into bed with him. He’s warm and safe; he’s perfect.
“I don’t know why I left,” she says quietly. “Fear, I think. But I know why I came back.”
“Are you going to share your findings with me, Agent Scully?”
“I love you,” she says with a small shrug. His face brightens, and she wonders why she ever thought this would be difficult. It’s the easiest thing in the world.












