#fifa cat

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Sometimes I wonder if life will ever go back to normal. Will I always wake up to this profound sense of missing? Missing pieces of this incomplete set of a family that are impossible to replace? Pieces that made me a sister, a rival, a snuggle buddy...

Where does all of this lead? Do I carry these voids until I am reunited with Naboo?

I know everyone thinks cats have all the answers, and the solutions.

I've never been able to fully process the loss of our birth mom. Naboo would say our human mom was our birth mom reincarnated.

Mom had been a cat and then she transformed into a woman. Or she was always a woman who temporarily transformed into a cat to give birth to us and nurse us for a few weeks. She disappeared for a few days because she was transforming, but then she found us again.

Naboo was convinced she would one day become a woman herself, when the time was right. But I would remain a cat, because I was Mom's pet.

Why would anyone want to leave being a cat to become a human? Humans don't have claws. And they travel too much.

I myself think our human-mom and birth-mom are two separate beings. I have never gotten over that separation 100%. What happened to our birth-mom? Why did she take so long to come back to feed us? I think about these things while I knead and nibble on fuzzy blankets for minutes on end, but no milk ever comes out.

In any case, if Mom knew where Naboo was, she would have brought her home by now.

I suppose we carry on as best we can.

🐾Fifa-Cat

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Interlocking cats

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My little punk brother who can't appreciate how nice I am to him.

I even quality check his food. Because I love him.

Higo's 1st Day

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Today Mom said, "Fifa looks depressed. We should get her a pet kitten."

Then Dad said, "Ok."

Last time I came back from Grandma and Grandpa's, I didn't know my sister Naboo was still gone and I freaked out a little. Just for two nights and a day. I looked for her outside too but her scent was not fresh.

The fat garden bunny no longer visits our yard. Anyway, the grass is gone.

I've never had a kitten. I wonder what its viscosity is like.

~Fifa-Cat 🐱

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This month has been busy. I stayed a week with Grandma and Grandpa.

On the way there- and especially on the way back- I wanted Mom and Dad to stop by where we lived when we were kittens to check if Naboo was there, but they didn't listen to Me.

Mom hunted this giant cat and cut off his/her claws and like some sick joke, makes Me wear them.

I am not comfortable with this.

😾Fifa-Cat

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Mom's Music Theory professor on Zoom asked her what type of interval they were hearing and she was taking too long to answer, so I gave the answer for her and the professor said I got it right.

Then he asked Mom to translate from Meow to English.

It was funny. Everyone loves Me.

It's been more than two months since I last saw my sister. Mom and Dad constantly talk about her and they still cry several times a week, but on the night they turned on the heater, I realized she is gone.

Naboo loved the heater turning on ceremony and she would sit up really close to it. Maybe that wasn't healthy. Mom would yell at her, "You're going to get crispy fur!" But she loved that heater.

This year we kept seeing her there even though she wasn't. We keep seeing her absence.

If Naboo was going to return for anything, it would have been for that.

I've consequently taken over her scratching posts.

But I miss her fiercely.

~Fifa-Cat 🐯