#final justice

[mst3kgifs]

I can't wait to see Spooner, Wisconsin, again. So long, I love you guys! It's my turn to escape. Joel got to go right after he saw a really bad Joe Don Baker movie, so I figured...

[mst3knitathon]

I am staying home while sick right now, so plenty of time to plug away at MST3Knitathon, my attempt to finish my friends' wedding afghan as quickly as I can while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (cable run) to keep me entertained.

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

34. Episode 1008 Final Justice

Summary: It's a fish-out-of-water culture-clash action movie as Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Texas Ranger, (played by enemy of the show Joe Don Baker) defies both local and American authorities to pursue a mafioso through the island of Malta, where the mob has arranged his escape by forcing an emergency landing of the plane extraditing him to Italy and then forcibly removing him from Geronimo's custody. Geronimo's main strategy is to try to provoke suspects into drawing on him in Old West-style quick-draw gun duels that make it legal for him to shoot them in the street, which he does heedless of the presence of civilian bystanders to be caught in the crossfire. But he also enjoys breaking into places without warrants and beating/threatening information out of suspects. After the bad guy escapes his grasp several times by knocking him out with one punch, he convinces the Maltese policewoman who's been helping him that "right makes might" (meaning, "there's no such thing as excessive force if you're right about the guy being guilty") and both go rogue to take him out at the home of the secret mafia Don.

MST3K lore or notable moments: As Joel escaped during the previous Joe Don Baker movie episode (number 3 on the top 100 list), Mike decides that it's his turn now, and makes a touching farewell to the bots before they point out that there are no more escape pods left and he's not going anywhere.

What do I think about its place on the list? Look, I just can't abide either of the Joe Don Baker episodes. That's more of a me thing than anything related to the quality of the episodes themselves, but I just find the version of masculinity Baker's screen presence is supposed to embody too repulsive even to enjoy laughing at. I'm also not a huge fan of the way the riffers chose to make fun of him. Baker isn't an unpleasant screen presence because he's overweight and you can imagine that, like every other human being, he occasionally farts. It's because his characters take the typical entitled "I don't have to listen to anyone rules don't apply to me"-ness of male action heroes, dial it up to skeevy extremes, lack any of the charm or charisma that usually balance this kind of performance out, and then add insult to injury by not even being very good at their jobs. I was not kidding about the bad guy in this movie getting away because the sheriff keeps whiffing on hand to hand combat. You get the feeling that the lack of any appealing qualities - that this guy has nothing redeeming about him and yet is celebrated for doing whatever he wants and screw other people anyway - is an intentional part of the intended male fantasy of it all, and that makes it gross to watch. But I guess that's difficult to make jokes about, so let's just make riffs imagining him eating greasy food instead. (Joe Don Baker apparently saw the Mitchell episode and threatened to beat up any of the MST3K crew if he ever came across them, and I can't say that I blame him. They rarely get that personal about an actor.) I also found all the sketches except the one about Mike "escaping" to be very blah. That said, there were some genuinely fun things about this episode, like the beautiful on location scenery of Malta (a rarity for these cheap movies), some really bizarre pacing and camera work that gave the riffers a lot to work with, and the interminable sequence where the bad guy has disguised himself as a monk and Geronimo must chase him out of a church, through the streets, through the docks, onto a boat, up a crow's nest, and through the bay on two other boats. That stretch of riffing had some great jokes in it, and was pretty consistently funny. And while I had to pause and take breaks due to cringe, it didn't really drag anywhere. Obviously, I wouldn't put this one on my personal top 100 list at all, but if I try to overcome my distaste for this kind of thing and be somewhat objective about where it should be, surely it's still too "mid" an episode to be in the top 50? Bottom 25 somewhere, perhaps? Other MSTies, what do you think?

[stumpyshocky]

🩵done🩵

I really need to open a store to sell these stupid creations

[outofcontextrifftrax]

May the Lord guide this cap into thine ass.

Kevin Murphy, Final Justice

[roninkairi]

You better run…

(Or he'll steal your lunch!)

You better hide…

(Your lunch!)

You better run…

(Cause he got the runs!)

Cause he won't stop till he gets his man!

(OR YOUR LUNCH!!)

@airebeam

[toku-fangirl-2015]

🎶 You better ru-u-unnn

(Or he’ll steal yor lunch)

You better hi-i-ide

(Your lunch…)

You better ru-u-unn

(‘Cause he’s got the runs…)

‘Cause he won’t stop until he gets his man

(Or your lunch…)🎶

[mst3kproject]

Finally got around to seeing JW Dominion. It is now the second-worst film I've ever seen in which Malta is menaced by a lumbering prehistoric beast.

[brechtian]

rereading act 5 of measure for measure to see how i could hypothetically make it a tragedy and i completely forgot isabella cries "And given me justice, justice, justice, justice!" I can literally not recall any other time in a shakespeare work where a single word has been successively repeated four times like that god wow. The escalation the desperation.. to me there is no way to do that line without turning out to the audience and screaming/begging THEM for justice, a call to action from a heartbroken woman grieving a brother who betrayed her