Final speculation about the Tally-Alder situation
After having written what turned out to be - as I realised writing it - pretty dark scenarios where neither Tally nor Alder really get a good outcome, here is how I think this might have worked better:
Tally goes to Alder, all youth and righteous indignation, and Alder realises the risk inherent in having someone so young glance at shocking snippets from your own life. Alder also realises that Tally is an idealist, passionate about justice and emotionally invested in making the world a better place - and also that Tally knows very little about the ways of the world.
So Alder makes Tally feel seen (and loved, depending on if Alder wants to indulge herself and/or manipulate Tally; because, truly, the age and power difference makes love between those two very complicated and Tally might not see this but Alder certainly does). Alder takes the time to meet with Tally regularly and makes Tally promise her that if she has disturbing dreams, she will come to Alder immediately. This is a little inconvenient for Alder but preferable to having a very emotional, insecure cadet running around on base searching for affirmation and answers in other places.
Depending on Alder's mood, she might throw in a little manipulation, how much she cares for Tally and that making the world a better place starts with conversations and speaking and listening to one another (this might just be my view, I wholly agree with the latter part and disagree with the first because I believe that if Alder really cared for Tally she would never say so to Tally in a moment where Tally is insecure and hurting. Because if you get to someone on that level, you can probably ask them to do awful things afterwards. So as I said, depends on how morally strict Alder is with herself, although note that this version of her would not put Tally in any uncompromising situations, she is simply to old for this stuff (emotionally), what does she profit from the emotional dependency and suffering of others).
Tally feels great relief, like a big weight lifted off her shoulders and she visits Alder regularly. They disagree about Alder's actions and decisions, they disagree about what counts as moral behaviour - after all, Alder is really old and her view of the world was forged at a time very different from Tally's.
But Alder gives this context, too:
"Tally, do you know what the procedure would be when a general abdicates? Who becomes the new general - would you approve of anyone but me, or only of some particular people? Do you believe that I am the only problem or do you believe that subordinates who allow a general to do anything are also part of the problem? If someone else but me was the general, what is there to stop them from being like me or worse than me?
What do you know about the history of the military and how we are entangled with politicians? What do you know about the dynamics between the military and the Spree and the dodgers?
There is a complex history and there are complex reasons for why we are currently at this point, if you want to make the world better, you need to understand it first."
Tally feels impatience nipping at her heels but Alder has met her with openness, honesty and acknowledged her as someone she takes seriously, so she calms her fire and starts doing actual research.
She still ends up disagreeing with Alder a lot of the time but is pained to admit that often it ends in: we have very similar aims but disagree in how to get there; and: I cannot bring myself to open rebellion against you, my mind does not strongly enough disagree with my heart.
And so both Alder and Tally profit from the situation:
For the first time in decades, Alder takes the time to interact with someone who really thinks she messes things up and tries to make her reasoning clear and observes which arguments convince Tally and which don't. This gives her a better feel of the general atmosphere among her soldiers and helps her consolidate her power (as well as be a little less absolutist). Without Tally's bond with her, the dreams and Alder's care for Tally as well as her interest in defusing the situation as peacefully as possible, this scenario would never have happened.
And Tally gets private lessons from someone with hundreds of years of experience, and if anyone is jealous of this preferential treatment, they are less so when they hear Tally wake up screaming from nightmares and when they see Tally bowed over another huge tome of the history of US jurisprudence in the 1800s and ask her: what are you doing, do I even want to know? - and Tally answers, completely exhausted: General Alder said if I wanted to criticise the Camarilla conflicts in 1877, I would need to brush up on my legal knowledge - and her fellow cadets are mostly terrified, but some are curious history nerds and so, by accident, Tally starts an "Alder's history club" where she (by necessity) and other cadets (by choice) learn about arcane tribes and strange jungles, and society rules in 17th century France.
Tally, who dislikes fighting anyways, ends up continuing the Alder's history club after graduation and later, teaches it at War College because it seems to her that a lot of misunderstandings and bad decision-making from cadets and generals alike could be averted with some understanding of history, how exchanges between different generations work, and some critical thinking skills.
As to Alder's and Tally's relationship, I will lay a veil over this but suffice it to say - All is well.
