can anyone tell me why the worst heartbreak I’ve ever experienced was inflicted by a Russian baron 120 years older than me

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can anyone tell me why the worst heartbreak I’ve ever experienced was inflicted by a Russian baron 120 years older than me
March 24.
It came and went this year. And I didn't even realize till 10 days later.
So. He just asked me to prom, I said no, and now I feel liberated. I feel like now I'm free. I've realized where we stand and where we will stand for eternity and I've made a new outlook. I'm excited to go home tonight, break out some brushes and paint over the memories I've written onto my wall. And erase the time that I've invested in him.
I was perfectly okay with myself, until you came along, with your perfect smile and your perfect attitude, and you made me feel like I needed you, and you made me feel like shit. I thought that was love, but it's not. Love isn't feeling like shit because I'm not good enough for you. Love isn't supposed to be me changing myself because there are things you don't like about me. Just because I'm "too fat" or "not pretty enough" doesn't mean you should love me any less. Love isn't only about appearance, it's about personality, trust, giving, and I gave you everything but all you did was take. And love most definitely is not ever only about the physical. What I chose to do with my body is my business, not yours. I thought I loved you because we had good conversation "the perfect mix" of flirting and deep conversation, I thought I loved you because you "treated me the way I treat myself" but that was just your excuse to show your real personality, and that is that you are a Douche bag, because I'm not "too fat" or "too ugly" or "not good enough" or "too insecure" or "too socially anxious" or "too emotional" or "too depressing" or anything else you could possibly say to me. Because you don't define me. I do. You shouldn't be the reason I'm sad, you should be the reason I'm happy but you're not. So I think it's time I say goodbye, to your perfect smile and gorgeous face. I know it's gonna be hard to get over you, I know you're pictures will give me that familiar ache in my stomach. I know you're voice will ring in my head for a while. I know our memories will bring me to tears. I know that the parties will be different, and I know that I won't be the same but I know it's for the better. I know you won't miss me half as much as I'll miss you and I know that soon you'll find another girl, and you'll make her love you just like you did with me and who knows, maybe, I'll find another boy, with a perfect smile who doesn't treat me like shit, and maybe he'll say everything you couldn't, and maybe he'll love me the way you couldn't, and maybe, just maybe, he'll stay with me like you never ever could. So the next time I think of you I'll remember all the crap you gave me, and then instead of missing you, and being sad about it, I'll remember him. The Him that I don't know yet, but I know he's out there, and he'll be my real first love, and he'll love me right back. And then I'll be happy, and you won't even cross my mind anymore. So I'm done, done with you, and done with writing about you, ad done with drawing about you. Just done. Forever. Goodbye.
Goodbye. I’m Finally Over it. (Written by: i-am-a-danosaur)
I think i have finally fully gotten over the guy I used to like. Like, two years ago I told myself to stop, to stop feeling that way toward him and to move on. One year ago, I was still telling myself to stop, and I kind of had, until I would see him again or something would happen and I was pulled in again. But now... I think the thing that really makes me believe I'm over him is the fact that I didn't even realize it at first. Like, I wasn't thinking about him or feeling anything like that so it took me awhile to realize. But then I just sat back and thought about it and saw that I stopped liking him. I think part of it is the fact I can't see myself with him. Ever. Like, if I wasn't "friends" with him, I would hate him, probably. It would never work. Ever. And that's a nice feeling, knowing I'm finally over the crush that lasted 6 years. It also makes it easier now that he is finally initiating things, like hugs and conversations. Because literally all I want is to be his friend, nothing more, and it looks like he wants to be mine, and I don't have any extra feelings mixed in there to screw it up. Well, I have a lot of feelings that will probably screw it up, but having a crush on him is not a part of it.
You know what's really fantastic?
When you hear a love song and NO ONE immediately comes to mind. Praise the lord I've been waiting so long for this day 🙌🙏
Heart break sucks. But you just have to remember your heart won't stay broken forever. It will heal like any other wound.
It's been two years
Since my first love captured me
And started this metamorphosis
We don't talk anymore
I'm sure that my name only brings distaste
And bad memories in his mind
But an old friend of ours
Popped in and started talking to me
Questions are popping up about him
Like does he remember me
And what we had
But the inquiry dies fast
Because of the last attempts I've asked that to him
I'm not repeating that again
I've grown too much for that again
That and my love for another has bloomed
Mine for his has died
And pulled like nuisance weed
I hope he's having an amazing life
And that God is guiding him to glory