These past couple days, I feel like I'm invisible. First I go shopping and literally never had a non-cashier employee talk to me. They would ask the people right next to me how they were doing or if they needed help and never once asked me. And I didn't really care, I basically knew what I was looking for, but it was weird because I would be next to someone and the employee would look at them and not at me. And then tonight, I went to this end of year event with my friend. I knew some of the people there, but most of them were unfamiliar or I had just never really spoken to them. And while I was able to hang out with a few of my friends, beyond them I kinda felt invisible. Like, there was someone there who I haven't seen in a while and I wanted to at least say hi to them and talk a little and it was like they just didn't see me for most of the night. Like their eyes would just slide over me like I wasn't there. Finally at the end of the night they said hi and we talked for a short period, but it wasn't a lot. And I just feel like that's kinda how my life is a lot. Like if you just remove me from the picture, everyone else stays basically the same and there isn't much difference. Everyone would keep going without noticing because everyone else has huge lives outside of their involvement with me while I have basically nothing. I'm not going to kill myself or something like that, I know better. But my depression has been acting up a lot recently and it's hard to remind myself that people do care about me and do actually see me and I'm not just the invisible girl. But it still really sucks.
