Logan- Trauma Bond?
For privacy reasons, I'll use fictional names.
This is an introduction to who Logan is in my life, leading up to a post about trauma bonds that I’ve attempted to write three times but kept deleting. Now, I have blank page syndrome, so I’m just going to write what I can for now.
I want my stories and posts to be authentic, to come from within, without worrying too much about being careful with my words or overthinking. Ideas have been floating in my mind, but I can’t seem to bring them to my fingertips. Anyway, let’s talk about Logan—it might help me get into the flow of the conversation.
Oh, Logan..
Four years into our friendship, and we’re at a stand-off.
We’ve taken on so many “roles” in our journey together as friends—or whatever it is we have.
We formed a strong connection right from the first message I sent him on a dating app. I was rebuilding myself after a breakdown, and he was the first “stranger” I met after my time away from the world.
Since then, there’s been lust, passion, true love, loss of babies, trauma, triggers, and moments where we’ve hurt each other, yet we’ve always remained connected somehow.
Lately, as I’m in a new relationship (a topic for another post!).
I’ve been reflecting on why I don’t feel the same way with Logan.
He has his flaws, but he has the purest heart I’ve ever encountered.
I think I’m starting to understand why and am questioning whether we have a trauma bond.
Can “good” trauma bonds exist?
I made him into someone who took on a role well, but not in the way I needed. Even though he knows every part of my story, there’s one detail I’ve left out—and I think now I know why.
How do I explain what I now realize is wrong?
How do I tell him even though its wrong its what I need from him?
We played around with it too much, and now I just want that comfort zone back, that he made me feel taking me back to those times as a child.
That’s what the next post will be about: the entire role we played, the full story with no omissions.
And maybe… maybe he will finally understand me.