Is there something you can do with this one please? Reader is attracted to bad guys/girls, those they're warned against yet still get involved, but it always goes poorly and they end up having to get out, though sometimes things just drag them back in. When the reader hears about Spinel, probably from Amethio complaining about him, they're interested. Surprisingly, it's working out so far and lasting longer than previous relationships without issues, not to mention Spinel is good at defending the reader from bad exes and whatever problems they bring along.
Spinel x Reader | Traumabond
CW: As the title suggests, traumabonding, vague mentions of abuse/terrible home life,
Your home life wasn't the best, so it was no wonder when you began to date men who'd reflect the behaviours that were familiar to you, even if you attempted to avoid them.
It was familiar. It was the only love you ever knew, and real love made you feel suspicious, like how someone was trying to get on your good side only to ask for something in return.
When you found out about Spinel -your sibling's friend was complaining about him- you were immediately interested. Sure- he might be obsessive and a stalker. But that means he knows what to get you without you even needing to ask !!
When you began to date Spinel -even though your sibling and their friend told you NOT to- he was a sweet guy, a bit controlling and knew an awful lot about you. But still. He was perfect.
And just like you were warned, you'd begin to see a beheeyem somewhere in the distance, watching you closely.
You never thought much of it. How could you,? Wild pokémon often took interest in the daily activities humans did, and no-one bats an eye.
But when you recently got with a guy that also has a Beheeyem? It's everyone's buisness.
Dating Spinel was a pretty nice experience all things concidered.
He wasn't a goody-two-shoes, nor was he abusive. It was a step up from your previous exes for sure though.
He also took enough control of your life for you to not feel overwhelmed at the new possibilities that life offers after you leave your family household.
Speaking of exes, none of them have tried to contact you -not even the one ex that was adamant on getting you back.
They all just suddenly stopped contacting you, and when you told Spinel about the news, he was happy for you more than anything.
Whenever one did gain the balls to approach you in public, Spinel's grasp on your waist -or hand- would tighten more, with his expressions becoming more forced.
If they approached you too many times for Spinel's liking, they'd become a missing person's case the next day and Spinel wouldn't know anything about it.
i don’t have BPD, i know that for sure, but i’ve showed a lot of the symptoms/signs of it before.
when i was with my (traumatizing) ex, i was so for sure that i had BPD, because of just how many signs/symptoms i showed during that time (and back then, i didn’t have as much knowledge as i do now, so i didn’t realize it was due to my ex being so traumatizing). literally every experience of a person with BPD, i could relate to it. even now, when i look back at those times, and when i see things about BPD, i know i once did relate and i can feel it in my soul.
i remember how extreme i was. how attached i was. how overwhelming everything felt. how much every day was a struggle against my mind and others. and more. and it was the worst time of my life and it went on for so long, too.
so i feel for those with BPD, because that’s their daily life for them. that’s how they are 24/7, and yes, sometimes they can “get better” and go into remission, but that’s not guaranteed. that’s not for everyone.
and i know a little bit just how overwhelming, saddening, and painful that can be.
i wanna say i’m proud of all those who have BPD. y’all are doing a good job, and you’re lovable as hell. not everyone hates you, your favorite person doesn’t hate you, and you’re amazing. take a minute to look just how many things you accomplished today or of late, even if that’s just continuing to breathe. you’re doing an awesome job. 🫶
I was recently told by my therapist that I should write a "eulogy" for you, something that signifies the end of our relationship, in an attempt to let you go. After little thought, I determined that you don't deserve the kindness of a eulogy - not when I offered you so much love throughout the course of our relationship that did not falter, and it was still not enough for you.
I've cried every single day since you discarded me. It's been 39 days since you were mine. Or at least, 39 days since I thought you were mine. I never once actually had you, but you had every bit of me. You sucked out every bit of good and happiness that I harbored, and discarded me when you had emptied me out completely. I finally realized that I've been crying for 39 fucking days over someone who didn't even care to know what my favorite color is. But I know that yours is yellow. Yellow like your eyes on sleepy mornings when the sun would hit them just right. Eyes that captivated me on our second date, and I remember feeling like I was fucking flying, thinking to myself: "the way she looks at me is the way anyone longs to be looked at by a partner". The week before you discarded me, you were upset with me because I had the audacity to express my needs and ask you to be there for me. Your eyes were empty, save for the tinge of resentment and annoyance, and I remember thinking, "I never want her to look at me like that again".
If you truly cared about me and the things I had to say, you would have known that my favorite color is blue. Blue like the feeling of nostalgia for something that could have never been. Blue like the ocean of tears I've cried for you these past 39 days. Blue like how I felt when I wrote you a beautiful love letter, the first sentence: "you're such a light in my life", and you glanced up at at me as you read it, discomfort on your face, and you said, "that's very codependent and manipulative of you to say". Blue like how I felt when you would flirt with people in front of me, and I wasn't allowed to get upset. Blue like how I felt when you crossed all of my boundaries, and I fucking let you, but you demanded that I adhere to your ever-changing ones. Or perhaps blue like the feeling I had when I would tell you about something exciting in my life, but you wouldn't care, or be "too busy" to hear about what I had to say - it was never a good time for you. Blue like how I felt when you convinced me that it was my fault that you were leaving me, your last words to me, "I just don't want to be stuck in the crosshairs of you fixing your issues. I've already fixed mine". I had become only an inconvenience for you; the light in my life had suddenly become a downpour.
I felt a swirl of yellow and blue - green - when 2 1/2 weeks ago, after you ignored me and my pleading for any semblance of closure, you texted me "I miss you". I felt green when I eagerly responded, so happy that you finally reached out, but after several days passed, I realized that you had left as quickly as you came. I didn't hear another word from you. These past 39 days, I've learned that progress sure as hell isn't linear, and that I should just ride the wave of grief. I will heal and learn from this and come out of this better than before, while you are stuck in your cyclical, emotionally immature mindset. You always mentioned how afraid you are of dying - I suppose it might be the God Complex and your inability to fathom how the world could possibly go on without you. That being said: You're fucking dead to me.
