October 20th 2004. Sunday. 103 p.m.
I'm frustrated, I'm spent. I'm probably just hungry.
I also just ended my period. So hormones are on the rise.
& woke up late. So self-loathing is likewise on the rise.
It occurs to me that I used to - strongly dislike - how much time I "wasted" journaling- Now, I think I get it.
Write. Write all day, if you must. But, please-
Transcribe, record, & share that shit with the world. As a blog - as a podcast - you can add in the video later. The art will come. Don't box yourself in. Art finds a way. Your journals are a part of that.
Can you record a small clip & just Loop it? Can you pull old footage from the silent film era & use that?
Just remember, these are your journals, before they are anyone else's entertainment. Some days will be more inspired than others.
You'll need to trust God to show you the way. & you will need to trust yourself to take the steps. Your short stories, your poems, your songs, all of that will come in time.
Identity is precious - The Human Condition is sacred & finding God, your soul, &/or inner peace in all of this is necessary. Don't think for a second that this is "vanity" Or just useless art. A true healer is one who has been to Hell & back - & return,. carrying buckets of water for those yet burned.
I'm right here, my friend. I've been through it. I'll do what I am able to. In order to help.
We are not alone - We are not helpless - & we are not nameless.