Hello frend~☆ So I've been out of the MM fandom for some time now. I was more or less forced out due to treatment from fans and groups on FB which caused me to utterly hate all things MM. I even stopped cosplaying though I felt great as Zen and Vandy...but your blog always reminds me of the good times and the small beginnings of MM where people just had fun loving the characters. So thank you for that. If I could, I'd like to request some sort of angst/comfort with Vandy. I still love him. 💖
✿ Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear that! I love your cosplay, and you made a really heckin’ cute Vanderwood! (Like, if I’m being real here, when you followed me I clutched at my heart and was like, “oh my god… this incredibly cute and talented person… likes my stuff??? what is this!”)
Anyway. You got me in a prose mood, so let’s give it a go.
He was by the water, curled up with a fine mist settled over his messy brown hair. You could see the light gleaming in it, and you could see a rainbow shimmer glistening on the spray of water beyond, sparkling in the sunlight above the tumultuous churn of the waterfall. You scooted closer to him, the fabric of your pants wet due to the damp grass and dirt. It wasn’t something you minded, really, though it was a bit unpleasant. The mud, the sweat, the lingering scratches from the branches that had whipped against your face while you’d been running… they all bothered you, but it was nothing compared to what the man beside you was enduring.
You reached out, placing your hand lightly on Vanderwood’s shoulder. He didn’t respond to your touch, which was about the best you could hope for, really. At least he didn’t flinch away.
“How are you doing? Seven should be back soon with something to eat, and maybe he’ll manage to get some cell-service to call Jumin. You’ll be okay. I promise you, you’ll be okay.”
Vanderwood groaned softly, tilting his head and peering up you hovering over him. With the movement, you could see the blood-soaked bandage peeking underneath the coat he’d wrapped around himself like a security blanket. You desperately wanted to change it, but you had nothing to change it with. All you had left was the shirt you were wearing, and that was far too dirty to press against an open gunshot wound.
You bit your lip, but you managed to smile. For his sake, you could do anything. “You’ll be okay. Jumin will come save us. We told him we were going to Mint Eye. He’ll be looking.”`
Vanderwood squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head mutely. You wanted him to look at you, to… talk to you, but he was in pain, so you didn’t want to push him. You felt like you had so much to say to him, though. So much to tell him.
But you’d bottle that all up until he got better, because he would get better.
“You should leave me,” he spoke, his voice a paper-thin rasp. Once more, he opened his eyes, but this time he looked towards the water, watching the ripples and the droplets dancing in the sunshine. “This is a nice place to die, and I’m slowing you down. They’re still looking for us, you need to run - “
“No!” You interrupted with a sharp, firm voice. Your other hand tightened on your knee; you didn’t want to put any undue pressure on him by grabbing onto Vanderwood’s shoulder. “No. Absolutely not. I refuse. After everything? There’s no way either of us is leaving you behind!”
“You’re stupid,” he grumbled, then said it a few more times underneath his breath. “I’m a dead man. A stupid, weak, dead man, and I don’t want my last fucking act to involve dragging you down, too.”
You gritted your teeth, wanting to smack this idiot but knowing that you ought to restrain yourself until he was better. (Because he was going to get better. He was going to get better.) “Just… hold on, okay? Just don’t give up, and everything will be fine.”
“…Why do you think that?”
Vanderwood looked up at you, eyes surprisingly lucid despite the painted sweat dripping down his cheek, and asked you this once more. “Why do you think that? Why do you think anything could ever be fine?”
He didn’t let you interrupt, managing to summon enough inner strength to continue. “Everything’s always been shit. For me, for Seven - him, he might actually get a chance to be happy. He has people who care about him, people who are willing to help him, hell, he has you, who’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to save him. But me? What do I do, even if I survive this? The Agency was my world, you moron, and I…”
“I betrayed them.” Vanderwood closed his eyes again, slumping his tensed shoulders and letting out a hiss of pain. “I betrayed them, and even if I live through this, I’m going to pay the price for it.”
“Stop that!” You spat, and then you grabbed his hand, because screw it, you’re not just going to quietly wither in your feelings while the person you like his having a pity party. “You can have a world beyond them! The RFA loves you, Seven loves you, hell, even I - no, especially I - love you, so get that… defeatist, cynical attitude out of here, because I’m going to carry you out of these woods even if I have to bite someone.”
There was a stunned pause, where all the both of you heard was the rumbling water. Then, “Even if I have to bite a lot of someones. Okay? So don’t… don’t…”
And there it was, the water seeping out of your eyes, falling on his jacket like drops of water from the lake. “So don’t die, please…”
Vanderwood didn’t know what to say. He looked at you, haloed by sunlight and the shadows of the trees above, and he felt your hand, fingers warm and clasped tightly around his own. And though it hurt - and though he was bleeding - he squeezed it tightly and remained quiet. Because - if you had your way - you’d both have all the time in the world to say what you wanted.
And all he could really do is shut up and hope.
