Currently working on chapter 4 :) Warning: Spoilers probably
You'd been working at Teller-Morrow for two days, and honestly? It was great. You'd met Tig and Opie officially, having seen them briefly during the night of your attack. Chibs hadn't been around you very much, but that was okay. He was busy. You understood. He was an important part of the club, and an important part of the garage.
You'd told Half-Sack you simply couldn't call him that anymore, learning that his name was Kip. He'd been watching you for a while, in the protective way, not creepy way. He talked about the girl he was interested in, and mentioned that she'd had to leave. After a couple of beers, you learned she was in Ireland now. So that was fun.
But you missed Chibs. You'd really only known him for a day and a half, but there was just something about him that…ugh. You just really liked. You needed to get that schoolgirl crush under control, or else things would just get worse for you. You focused on how put out he seemed to be when he had learned you'd not only gone to the store, but also the garage, after he'd explicitly told you, and Juice, that you needed to rest and relax. If you could focus on that, you could hopefully focus on how he wasn't the boss of you, and on how you didn't need to be crushing on some bossy old man. But still…you missed Chibs.
Your face was starting to heal, as were your ribs. You were pretty positive nothing had been broken after all. You still had some nasty bruising, but it was fading day after day.
It was on your fourth day there that something horrible happened. A van had been brought to the yard, not a van you recognized at least, and Chibs had attempted to start it. In the next moment, he was running, and then flying through the air. The van quite literally exploded, bursting into a fireball.
But all you could focus on was Chibs, laying on the ground, bleeding from the head. You'd rushed out of the office, joining the crowd of people, trying to hold back tears. It wasn't just because it was Chibs, but it was obvious this was another attack on the club. Was this part of your fault for not being able to give them a lead on who was bothering them? Was Chibs hurt because you couldn't remember anything about your attackers?
After that, you didn't have anyone to protect you, and that was okay. You agreed that they needed to focus on getting revenge or at least zeroing in on who did this to Chibs. You'd thrown yourself into working in the office, sometimes reorganizing things you'd just fixed, and other times double checking receipts from weeks before. It wasn't until the third day after the explosion that Gemma finally called you out on it.
“Alright, what's going on with you?” You looked at her for a moment, trying not to say the first thing that came to your mind.
“It's my fault, isn't it?” That didn't work. “The explosion.”
“What- why would you think that?” She took off her glasses, looking bewildered as she sat back in her chair.
“I never remembered anything useful. They couldn't go after anyone after my attack, and then this happened.” You frowned, sitting down in the chair next to her. “If I'd have been any help, this wouldn't have happened.”
“Hey, you don't know that. This isn't on you.” She gave you a serious look, but you felt tears welling up anyway. She got up, suddenly, closing both of the doors to the office. “I'm going to tell you something, and it doesn't leave this room. Got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
“Before you were attacked, I was attacked too. They wanted to send a message to the club and went after me.” Your eyes were wide, and a tear strayed down your cheek. “I was beaten and raped, but I didn't say anything. If we want to blame anyone for not stopping them before Chibs, or before you, then you blame me.”
“I could never blame you.” You rushed it out, tears spilling over. For her sake, more than your own. “Jesus, Gemma…are you ever going to tell them?”
“I don't know. But remember, it's my story to tell.” Another serious look, and you believed every veiled threat behind it.
“I promise not to say a word to anyone.” She nodded, reaching out and taking hold of your hand.
“They're going to get everything taken care of, sweetie. Chibs is doing okay in the hospital, you're healing, I'm healing.” It didn't seem like there were frequent soft moments with Gemma Teller-Morrow, but you knew to appreciate them when they happened.
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The next day, you'd told Gemma you would sit at the hospital with Chibs until she could arrive. Tara had gotten you into intensive care under the guise of being family. You'd baked again, bringing a ziploc with you in case he was allowed the treat. You had a smile on your face, trying not to feel giddy about seeing the Scot again. When you opened the door, he wasn't alone.
“Oh! Uh, I'm sorry. I can…come back later.” You were awkwardly stood in the cracked doorway, looking between the handsome patient and beautiful woman that was very, very close to him.
“Y/N? What're you doin’ here, lass?” His voice made your heart soar in a way it absolutely shouldn't.
“I told Gemma I would sit up here until she could come, but…I'm sorry, um, I'm Y/N.” You stepped into the room, extending your hand to the woman. She looked between you and Chibs before taking your hand.
“I'm Fiona.” She had an accent as well, and as much as you were hoping she was a sister or other family member, you had a bad feeling.
“Nice to meet you. Um, oh! Here!” You pulled the ziploc of cookies out of your bag, shoving it at her. “I brought these. In case. I didn't mean to interrupt-”
“You didn't interrupt.” Chibs' voice was gruff, and he was looking at you with lidded eyes. There wasn't a hint of a smile on his face like you'd grown used to.
“Well, anyway. I'll leave you to it-”
“How're you gettin’ home?”
“I walked here so I'll probably just walk-”
“You walked on your own?” His voice sounded angry.
“Yeah, I mean…the guys are busy. I just-”
“Your face still looks like tha’ and you decided to walk here. Alone.” You frowned, feeling your face heating up. You hadn't come for a scolding, and especially not one in front of the beautiful stranger.
“Yes. Not that it's your business.” You could tell he had more to say, but he closed his eyes instead. You looked at Fiona, unable to read the expression on her face. “I'm going now. Sorry. I'll…Gemma will be here later.”
You didn't wait for either of them to say anything, if they were even going to. You didn't need to be scolded like a child. That's probably what he saw you as, anyway. Just a child. That was so embarrassing. You were pining and he was just thinking of you as a kid. Probably an annoying one, at that.
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His wife. That's who Fiona was. You should've known. There was no way someone like him wouldn't have a beautiful woman in his life. You were such an idiot.
After hearing that news from Gemma, and overhearing that bad things, and people, accompanied that woman, you just…didn't know how to feel. You needed to get over Chibs. He had a wife, and Gemma made it sound like he still loved her, even if they were estranged. You couldn't come between love. You didn't know if there was a way for them to be together again, but he had a family. You were no homewrecker.
By the time Chibs was getting out of the hospital, you were almost fully healed. Your cheek might be scarred permanently, but it would be small. Your skin was almost back to the shade it was supposed to be, just a small amount of the ugly yellow holding on. You wanted to look good when he saw you again, and that made you hate yourself. You always fell for the wrong men, and you'd hoped that would've changed. Instead, you wore a low cut blouse and your best fitting jeans in hope to grab his attention.
Your inner turmoil would kill you. You wanted to be with him, to know him, so badly. But Fiona…you couldn't forget her. You wished you'd never met her, never knew he had a wife. You would've heard, eventually, from Gemma anyway, but in your fantasy world there was no wife. No gorgeous, Irish wife.
You'd seen them arrive from across the lot, but they were heading for the clubhouse. You weren't part of that world, not really. You didn't dare follow. Instead, you created work for yourself in any way you could. The third new pot of coffee in the last hour must have been too far.
“I'm going to fire you.” Gemma's voice startled you.
“What?”
“If you don't stop, I'm going to fire you.” She sighed, looking at you, exasperated. “You can't let Fiona scare you off.”
“I'm not letting her-”
“You like Chibs, right?” Lips pursed and cheeks pink, you nodded. “Then get over Fiona. Make your move.”
“I can't just make a move! He doesn't see me like that.”
“Honey, you're a young, attractive thing with a pussy and tits. He sees you like that.” She seemed to get enjoyment in your shocked expression.
“You sound like one of those guys!”
“But I'm not wrong. You're a sweet girl, you'd be good for him. He deserves something sweet for once.” She seemed genuine when she said that, and it made you think.
You were messy. You had baggage that didn't need to be shared. You were sweet enough, sure, but you would only taint him further, not fix anything. You were sure about that. You messed up everything you touched, and you couldn't do that to Chibs. He was a good man. Like Gemma said, he deserved something sweet for once, and that just…you weren't what he needed.
“Come on.” She stood, jerking her head for you to come with her. Standing, you followed. Chibs had entered the garage, immediately being swept into a hug and kiss by Gemma. “Welcome home, sweetie.”
“Gemma. Thanks for everythin’.” He grinned at the older woman, but then his eyes fell to you. You were standing a few feet back. You offered an uncomfortable smile and wave, focusing more on trying to keep your heart from leaping out of your chest.
“Hey, Chibs. You're looking…well.” You tried not to visibly cringe at the way you'd said it. For a moment he simply looked at you with his brows raised, but then he was laughing and closing the distance between you. You didn't hesitate to hug him back, eyes closing for a moment. He was safe.
“Thanks, lass. You're lookin’ much better as well.” He smirked as he pulled back, and you tried to suppress a blush. He pat you on the back as he pulled away, turning back to the guys. Gemma cleared her throat, nodding her head to him.
If there was ever a time you were going to do something, now was it. Your window of opportunity was closing. Were you going to mess up a perfect man? Or were you going to hate yourself for depriving yourself of anything good?
Ah.
Fuck it.
Grabbing his kutte, you'd finally really learned the term, you pulled him back towards you. Using his surprise to your advantage, your hands held the front of his kutte, pulling him down as you surged up to kiss him. It was a little weird at first, and when he didn't respond in any way, you started to pull back. It was his hand suddenly tangling in your hair and holding you in place that made you sigh in relief. Wolf whistles and cheering filled the garage, and you pulled back with a shy smile. You smoothed your hands along his collar, eyes staring at his chest instead of his eyes.
“Right. Um, ‘m glad you're okay.”
“Righ’.” He had that devilishly handsome smirk on his face again. He backed up a little, a hint of confusion still etched on his face. “We need to talk la'er.”
“Okay.” You nodded, watching as he walked away. The guys pat him on the back, him shoving them in return.
“Good girl.” Gemma smirked at you, walking back into the office.
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You didn't know when the next time you'd see Chibs was. Everything was getting more and more hectic as the days went on. You caught glimpses of him from time to time, but there was never any time to exchange more than idle pleasantries.
When the club went on lock down, you weren't sure how you fit in. Other than working in the garage, and the one kiss you'd shared with Chibs, you didn't have anything to do with them. Attack aside, anyway.
“I'm really just taking up space here. Are you sure there's not someone more important that should-”
“You're part of this family, whether you think you are or not.” Gemma cut you off, for the third time that day. How many times could you say the same thing before she finally hit you? Probably not one more.
“Y/N.” Chibs’ voice was like music playing. You immediately perked up, and maybe that was embarrassing, but it was too late. He jerked his head, pulling you to a more private area. If that even existed anymore. “You doin’ okay, lass?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Kind of a weird situation to be in but I've dealt with worse.” You joked, shrugging. He breathed a laugh, wiping a hand along his beard. “I was telling Gemma-”
“I know. You're crazy for thinkin’ you don’ belong here.” You blushed slightly, somehow knowing he'd say something like that.
“Well, maybe I am crazy-”
“Lass, I…we need to cha’ abou’ the kiss.” Your heart dropped into your stomach.
“Right. Ah, I'm sorry about that. Gemma…I shouldn't have…”
“S'not tha’ you shouldn’ have. S'jus’...a bad time.” You nodded your head, feeling like your heart was breaking.
“Yeah, I get that. I know everything's crazy right now, and Fiona-”
“Fiona's go’ nothin’ ta do wit’ i’.” He cut you off, frowning. Your face matched his.
“She's your wife, Chibs. You love her.” It wasn't a question, not with how you saw his feelings in his eyes. Not when you'd heard Gemma talk about them.
“She's mah wife, aye, but she's no’ mine anymore. No’ really.”
“But if she could be?” That had him silent. You could tell he didn't know what to say to that. You nodded your head, giving him a soft smile before leaning up to kiss his cheek. “Be safe out there, okay?”
“Okay.” He agreed, backing away from you. It looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn't, simply leaving.
“What was that?” Gemma came up beside you, watching the man walk away.
“It was him telling me we can't be together.” You gave her a small, if not sad, smile. “It's okay. I knew I shouldn't have kissed him and everything. It's a bad time.”
“Did he say that?”
“Yeah, he did. He still loves Fiona, too.” You saw the older woman roll her eyes and heard her sigh.
“You've got to get over Fiona. They can't be together.”
“Why? She came here to check on him and-”
“And she brought nothing but trouble with her.” You didn't know what that meant. “Listen, after everything with Zobelle is over, have another talk with him.”
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Lockdown was fine, it went by faster than you had expected it to. You knew some of the kids from when you'd taught their classes, so you helped them with homework or coloring. When everything was done, you thought for a moment that you'd be offered a new gig as a babysitter from a few of the parents.
Back in your own apartment, you'd actually gotten used to the company, the chaos. Your small apartment felt huge and empty, and it was empty. You knew Gemma had a bird, maybe you should get a bird. You kind of preferred something fluffier, less wings and beaks, but a bird could do.
A knock at your door startled you out of your bird musings. There shouldn't be any threats anymore, to you, anyway, but your stomach still felt nauseous. You looked through the peephole, shocked when you saw your favorite Scotsman on the other side of the door. You didn't hesitate any longer to open the door.
“Chibs? What are you doing here?” You'd barely stepped back before he was pushing his way into your apartment. Closing the door, you turned to face him, only to find yourself back against it. His lips were on yours before you could even blink, one of his hands cradling your jaw, the other on the door next to your head.
“I don’ have a lot of time, but I needed ta see you again.” He barely separated himself from you, his thumb tracing your lower lip.
“Um, what…why…?”
“I need ta tell you the truth. Some truth, a’ least.” You simply waited for him to continue. “The man who gave me these scars, the man who took mah wife from me…he's here. I don’ know if he'd do anythin’ to ya if he thought ye meant anythin’ to me. We still aren’ on the grea'est of terms.”
“So…that's why it's not a good time?” You swallowed hard, your brain working on nothing but the part where you may or may not mean something to Chibs. “Fiona-”
“Isn’ mine ta have.”
“I'm not worried about that guy, Chibs. I got my shit rocked when you barely knew my name.” You smiled slightly. “Anyway, with your hospital stay, and how busy you've all been with Zobelle, you really barely know me. I'd be a horrible bargaining chip.”
“You sell yourself shor’, lass.” He chuckled, shaking his head. He kissed you again, more need to it than before. This time when he broke away, he pressed his forehead to yours. “I have ta go.”
“Then go.” You barely breathed out. Still, he didn't move. “If it's a club thing…”
“Aye, i’ is.”
“You should go before something bad happens.”
“Aye.”
Still, neither of you moved.
“I'll still be here.” You kissed his cheek this time. “Go. I can wait.”
“You're a good one, darlin'.” He finally backed off from you, letting you off of the door.
“Well, I don't know about that.” You smirked, tucking hair behind your ear. You opened the door again, and he stepped out. “Be safe out there.”
Husband, one night stand or best friend and let's add murder because why not with Tig, Clay, Juice and Fiona?
Ooh I love the little twist.
Husband: Juice. Again. No hesitation. Boy would be fun and caring and a little obsessed but so am I so that wouldn't be an issue.
One night stand: Tiggy. I was debating whether I'd want man for a one night wild ride or as a friend but I don't think the friendship area is his expertise. I feel like he'd give some really shitty advice and probably coerce me into (best case scenario) murder. In bed however he'd be very open and understanding. Would be a good experience.
Best friend: Fiona. Much like Tig, Fiona has made some very questionable choices in life but is significantly less unhinged. We'd have our gossip over tea, she'd tell me about her kid, I wouldn't be able to relate at all, but she would probably teach me how to shoot a gun and handle myself in a knife fight (has probably learnt that from Chibs). At times we would talk about men and I would judge her for her questionable taste in them (sometimes), she would judge me for liking older men. 10/10
Last but not least Murder: Clay. That fucker makes my blood boil. He was cool the first two seasons (as were most of the characters tbh) and from then on I just had the urge to unalive him every time he opened his mouth to talk. Not to mention how manipulative he was towards everyone especially Juice.
