“First of Me” by Hoobastank... I haven’t heard this song in ages, but I heard it again today... after the events of the past 2 years, it now belongs on the soundtrack for my life. :-) For my entire life, everyone around me has always pushed me harder and harder to be like everyone else, to fit their “image,” and to be like them. If you’ve known me for even 5 minutes, or have read just about anything I’ve ever written, you know that’s completely impossible for me, and you know why... the reason for which I’ve taken vast amounts of verbal, emotional, and mental torture. There seemed to be nowhere I could go to get away from it. I couldn’t seem to ever find a place where it didn’t happen. There were actually a few people who systematically tore my entire life apart as punishment for not conforming to their image. Twice. But ya know what? I may not have the perfect image, a million friends, any social standing whatsoever, influence over people, or anyone looking up to me, but do you know what I do have? A clear conscience and an unburdened heart because I know I never compromised who and what I am for anyone or anything. And that’s enough for me. :-) It’s still hard sometimes because I’m still quite the outcast freak, but I’m determined to proudly be the first of me, and maybe someday, encouragement for anyone out there who’s like me to do the same. :-)
