College Ex
Dear ___________,
You will always be unforgettable to me. You were my first bouquet of flowers, the first man I brought home, the first I was introduced to a family, the first I had deep talks with about religion, education, and family, and yes — my first kiss. You made my college life full of laughter, tusok-tusok food trips, simple walks, and moments when you followed me even when I tried to walk away. You were my first in so many things, and for that, you will always be a part of my story.
I remember how fun it was to be classmates in TQM, how you teased me before exams, how you made college feel light. You made me feel loved in ways that were new to me. At that time, I believed in us. I even let myself get distracted from nursing because I prioritized our calls and conversations. That’s how much I valued you.
But then the truth came out. That while you were with me, you were also with three other girls — a classmate of mine, your ex, and another girl. Later I would hear even more: that you didn’t take responsibility for someone you got pregnant, and that your long-term relationships ended in pain, just like ours. I was shattered. Because while I thought I was special, I was just one of many.
I wanted to hate you. But when I look back, I see that you also gave me gifts I could never have learned otherwise. You taught me what it feels like to be pursued, but also what it feels like to be betrayed. You taught me to laugh with someone, but also to recognize when respect is missing. You taught me that “firsts” can be beautiful — but not always forever.
For a long time, you were my “what if.” Even when we broke up, even when you once called me asking “Ano nangyari sa’tin?” there was still a piece of me that remembered how happy I was with you. But today, I choose to accept that we were never meant to last. Our differences — religion, maturity, values — were always bigger than us.
I forgive myself for falling so deeply. I forgive you, too, for the immaturity and the betrayal, because we were young and careless. But I release you now. I release the “what ifs,” the sweet memories, and the pain of being just one among many.
Thank you for being my firsts. But this is the last letter I will ever write for you. Because my forever is no longer with you — it is with the man who chose me fully, who respects me, and who never made me feel second-best.
Goodbye, for good.
