#fish spotted

[no--fish]

What stage of trauma is going from "why did no one help me?" To "they couldn't have helped me"

[no--fish]

I have to smoke inside my shower sometimes

I turn off all the lights in my bathroom and sneak around

It's quite thrilling, I feel sick, the anxiety is high, I'm not sure what I'm afraid of

I know it's because I've noticed the kitchen lights on in my parents house, next door, my bathroom faces their kitchen

I can see them, they can see me

It's 2am, I know it's my dad.

I don't want him to see me

What if he talks to me

Mum left two nights ago