so like. i can’t watch more than 5-10 seconds of 5x06 without stopping to spill my emotions.
.....when she sees him... she literally has to control every muscle in her body to keep from blowing her cover because she is so shocked. And you can see all the emotion behind her eyes that she is trying so hard to keep in. and he is devastated that she couldn't hear him.
so along comes Kassius and Fitz was staring at Jemma so deeply he almost didn't catch what he was saying. But Fitz already loathes him... you can see he takes every opportunity he can to chew him out or distract him from Jemma. And he hates that the first thing Jemma has to hear him say is bad guy rhetoric about owning slaves and using pain and etc. You can see he's uncomfortable with it. but the pain that motivates him? motivates him to do good, to protect.
sometimes this year (or more probably the next), i'd like to receive positive/good news about Fitzsimmons also have fluffly scenes or ones with a positive outcome, that'd be a nice change, don't you all think?
And while we're at it, I'm feeling particularly talkative today so what do you guys think is going to happen regarding this spoiler?
Okay. But like. Think about it. Marvel gets flack for not having character deaths. But then in a superhero story, you don't necessary need death. what Marvel has is consequences. Tony with PTSD. Bruce with anger management. Captain America with the loss of his world. Especially Peggy. And. Leo Fitz with his brain damage. He is a hero and he has faced a severe consequence and he will still keep on fighting. I feel like his line "I AM DIFFERENT! And I keep trying not to be but I am." is really powerful. Not just on an emotional level (althouh if someone could hand me a tissue, that'd be great), but also from a plot viewpoint. This is gravity. This is longterm. He may adjust to this new circumstance like Steve did, but I think the effects are life-changing in the same way. I think the Fitz we know is gone. He is still Fitz, but he has changed. There is no going back. Not all the way. Not now. Even if remenants of the past remain, he can only move foreward. And that's good storytelling right there. And I'm so glad he didn't die in order to give the show "gravitas" because now we can explore so much more complex emotions than "simple" grief over losing someone. It's grief over losing someone who is RIGHT THERE AND ALSO GRIEVING HIMSELF. WE GET NEW DYNAMICS. WE SEE REAL STRUGGLES.
I just realized that bisexual fitz and all of my ships for him and Bobbi and jemma is that I forgot to think about how Fitzsimmons is going to be now. What do you think Also do you think jemma knew fitz was bisexual or do you think boys never came up
okay so like- here's some fitzsimmons hc-ing.
like fitz has never been with anybody before, he's super virginal and never been kissed (except like maybe at an academy party idk on that yet) but super virginal for sure. but like thats never been a problem, he's been focused on science and having massive heart-eyes for his the girl that has been his lap partner since he was like 16/17 and never really thought to look beyond that.
sure there was a few moments, where they watched mr and mrs smith together or something and fitz was like "damn brad pitt is hot" but everybody thinks that brad pitt is hot, that doesnt mean he's into guys right?
fitz as like jemma-sexual/science-sexual, which worked just fine for a long time.
until jemma left and he was kinda left with himself, without the person who had been "beside him the whole damn time" and thats when it sort of hits him that while he's always going to love jemma, he doesnt have to be just jemma-sexual. he opens his eyes and is like "okay i like guys and girls this is cool, but im not 100% sure im ready to admit this yet, because words are hard anyways and this is a big deal, but im going to check mack out because who wouldn't right"
fitz being bisexual and in the context i think it would play out on the show would be a coming out story, but not one that needs to be a big deal. theres never been anybody in his life before other than jemma and now there is and he's moving on and being a seperate person and realizing that he can like both and that its nbd.
jemma on the other hand ive always hc'd as bisexual. she's a person very okay with her sexuality and aware of the fact that she is aesthetically pleasing and thus can attract aesthetically pleasing partners. i mean just judging from the deleted scene from the academy episode, like jemma knows she got is and is okay with that- she's perfect satisfied with her sexuality.
also when they were watching those movies jemma was like "yeah okay but theyre both really hot and i want them both, you know?" and fitz just was like "wow jemmas amazing but im not brad pitt/angelina jolie much sadness" or whatever.
idk man, i just want confident bisexual jemma simmons to be a thing.
so for me this is a complicated question, and one that i’ve been wanting to write meta about forever, but never really had the opportunity, so excuse me as i turn your ask into that opportunity.
(if reading any further be warned that this contains discussion of cancer and brain damage)
in order to do this, i need to give some context as to where i am coming from here. i am nota neuroscience. however, i am somebody who has suffered extensive temporal lobe damage. (however, mine was from a brain tumor and then the removal of a brain tumor, not lack of oxygen for extended periods of time.)
one thing i used to have which so far fitz has not shown to have is temporal lobe seizures. which would occur not in the usual shaking on the ground manner. instead it involved me looking like i was awake and simply staring off into the distance, while my muscles tightly locked up and a minute or two later when i came to, the time i was away simply being gone. it was like somebody had paused by body while the rest of the world went on. (i just googled it because i couldn’t figure out what i meant to say and the word i was looking for was loss of awareness.)
on the other hand, i didnt have hallucinations, which fitz is shown to have, and therefore cannot talk about the recovery process from those.
however, fitz’s main symptom and the one i connect to the most is his struggles with language and verbalizing what he means. (this was my biggest problem after they removed my tumor actually, the surgery having messed up part of my brain.) for the first few months to year i was in a similar position, always googling words that i meant or standing there being like “the that thing” or “you know the - the big round one” because while i knew the word/what i meant that information was trapped in the back of my head.
it’s been over four years now. and 90% of the time i’m fine. i either know what word i want or my vocabulary is large enough that i can rearrange the sentence to come up with a different word that means the same thing. however, there was still moments where i struggle. for example the words left and right always escape me at the moments i need them most. when a friend is asking directions i will have to wave my hand in one way or another or be like “you make a me twice, and then a you” because i cannot remember the words. other instances recently include not being able to remember the word for ambulance last night or fire alarm (which i described as the alarm that goes off when there’s fire - close enough but not what i was looking for)
the point is, certainly he will “recover” or at least learn to navigate the gaps in his mind. but there will always be something that just doesn’t work right.
i mean, i cant give directions, tie shoes, have extreme difficulties speaking foreign languages (tho i can read/write/hear them just fine), and get emotional very easily - all of which are long term effects of my temporal lobe damage.
fitz will likely be in a similar situation.
so i guess, assuming the writers do this right in a few seasons he’ll be mostly recovered but there should still be instances of things not going just right, and for anybody writing post-season one fitz fic, please keep this stuff in mind.
Summer of Fitzsimmons- Fitzsimmons in Beginning of the End
Ok, I can do this. Whew. Here we go. This also needs a cut. Sorry.
We find Fitz sitting with his arm in a sling and Simmons by his side. He tells her everything that's happened, which is a lot. They've sunk to the bottom of the ocean in this pod. Fitz says he managed to strap them to one of the backboards. It's pretty apparent from looking at them that Fitz took the brunt of damage. He even broke his arm.
Simmons is her usual sunny self, even remarking how lucky they are. Fitz quickly tells her that the situation is much more dire than she imagined. As Simmons realizes that they're likely going to die down there, Fitz gives her the saddest look so far. It's clear that he wishes so much that he could do something for her. Something more than he's already done. He can't though.
What comes next is one of the most beautifully shot scenes about death I've ever seen. Simmons is her beautiful is wondering what death will be like, and she talks about the first law of thermodynamics. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. So every part of us had to exist in some other form at some time, and will go on to exist in another form afterwards. There's something so comforting about this conversation. And I like to think that energy so connected as Fitz and Simmons would always be connected in some way. Maybe I'm just a romantic at heart.
The look Fitz is giving Simmons during this part is just so UGH. He is so in love with her. So in love with every little thing about her. Her amazing intelligence. Her ability to find the good in everything. Her amazing sense of optimism even in the face of almost certain death. He even gives her a rare smile. He can barely hold it in anymore and starts to tell her until she realizes that there may be a way out.
The look Simmons gives Fitz when he mentions monkeys also looks like admiration to me. I don't think it's as intense as what Fitz is feeling, but he's also had longer to come to terms with thinking of Simmons as more than just a lab partner. I also find her line about it being fitting that they're down there together very interesting. It's like if she could choose who she wanted to be near when she died, it would be him. Moreover, Simmons finds it nice to be at the place where all life on this planet started when hers is ending.
Once again though, we find that they work better together than separate. Apart, Fitz so no way out of it. With Simmons though, they both come up with an idea that will work. They need each other!
And now the ultimate pain. Fitz and Simmons get everything rigged up, and Simmons discovered that Fitz had planned out everything so that she would get a burst of oxygen to allow her to get to the surface, but there's not enough for him too. This is totally unacceptable to her. On a shallow note, Fitz tells her she's the better swimmer, and thus a thousand swimming at the Academy fanfics were born.
Simmons doesn't like Fitz's plan, and Fitz tells her that he couldn't live without her. Please note that she says THAT SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY. I feel like once Simmons has time to process this she's going to realize that her feelings for Fitz go beyond just simple "best friend." I think she's in love with him for sure, but even if she's not her relationship with him is not just a best friend.
When Fitz tells Simmons she's "more than that," Simmons looks very surprised. I'm sure it never even crossed her mind that Fitz thought of her like that. You'll notice too, the tears that are falling as Fitz asks her to let him show her. Her heart is breaking right now. She launches at him, and contradicts him repeatedly as he tries to reassure her.
And then there's the kisses. A lot has been made of the fact that she doesn't kiss him on the lips. I wrote a post about this before, so I won't rehash everything I wrote already. It all boils down to this scene and those kisses feeling incredibly intimate to me. She goes from this extremely tight hug to kissing all over his face. I don't care that there wasn't what most people define as a "romantic" kiss, that entire thing was romantic. Also, if you listen to the kissy smacking sounds, he does also give her a kiss on the forehead as well. I watched that no less than 20 times in a row to be sure. The things I do for you all.
He gets one last quick look at her, smiles, and detonates their device. Of course, Simmons is not going to let his stay down there, so she drags him to the surface. Where they're rescued by NICK FURY. MY SHIP WAS SAVED BY NICK FURY,
When Simmons wakes up she's in a decompression chamber. She asks about Fitz, and Fury tells her that Fitz is alive but just barely. When Fury credits Simmons for saving Fitz, she quickly tells Fury that Fitz did the saving. We also find out that Fitz's homing beacon worked and that's how Fury found them.
When that cargo ramp drops and Simmons is there, it's very bittersweet. To see her there without Fitz is painful, but it's nice that she's still so supportive. When Skye asks about Fitz all Simmons can say is that he's alive. She also appears to be tearing up.
Aaaaand that's a wrap. I'll be posting what I want to see next season in another post. I still can't really believe what this show morphed into. I found it interesting in the beginning, but only mildly so. And then I started getting major feels for Fitzsimmons. By the end of the season I had grown attached to almost everyone and was dying for the next episode. That is some fine television there.
Now that I've made it through, I think this one was my favorite episode with FZZT as a close second. How about you all? What was your favorite episode this season?
Fitz and Simmons are adorable when congratulating Skye on her trojan horse idea. Fitz goes so far as calling it brilliant. Can't ask for more than that from a super genius.
Fitz still wants to believe the best of Ward, which, I'm glad that some of Jemma's sunniness has rubbed off on you Fitz, but for real. It is fun to watch Fitz play with the old Howling Commandos stuff. He doesn't have anything on Trip and Coulson though. That look they gave each other while fanboying out...
While spying on the Bus, Simmons suggests they send a dwarf in to be track things. Not only does Fitz compliments Simmons's idea, he tells her she an excellent listener. Look at him throwing compliments her way. Awww.
Fitz is extraordinarily brave when confronting Garrett. He even pulls the old emp-disguised-as-a-joy-buzzer trick. Fitz also manages to throw a chair down so that Simmons and Fitz can get away. Simmons is really trying to make Fitz accept that Ward is not their friend. They both virtually beg Ward to think about what he's doing and make the right choice. It's so hard to watch this. Now maybe Ward did think he was saving them, but truly, Ward did have multiple chances to redeem himself there. He didn't really in my mind. He just sort of washed his hands of the whole thing.
Bracing myself for the next up. Uggghhhhh. What do you all think of Ward's actions? Good? Bad? Trying his best to not make a decision?
