Supersymmetry (Five Hargreeves x Reader) (The Umbrella Academy)
A/N: OH HEEYYYYY!!!! I promised you guys an angsty, fluffy fic, SO HERE IT IS!!! This is based off of a request, as well as an Arcade Fire song, aka Supersymmetry. (go listen to it uwu). Anyway, a quick note, Five and the reader are 17 here...I didn’t know how to fit that in the story. I tried...but Five’s age is kinda ambiguous, so I put it here :) Once again, Five and the reader are BOTH 17! Also...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1.5K!!!! YOU GUYS MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!! Okay, it’s 2:47am...and I have school tomorrow....night guys...ENJOY!
Summary: You’re in love with Five, and he has no idea. You decide to finally confess your feelings for him, when suddenly, Vanya attacks the Academy, and all hell breaks loose...
Warnings: ANGST, violence, blood, fighting, stabbing, implied death, language, flufffffff is guaranteed don’t fret kiddos.
Word Count: 3,484 (when you think it’s over...it isn’t over...)
Moonlight glimmers through the massive windows, dancing upon the dusty shelves and books that begged to be opened. The sound of crickets gossiping from just outside the Academy echoes throughout the library. In fact, if one listened closely enough, they could make out the faint sound of summer rain tapping lightly against the sidewalks. The air felt cool, yet damp, almost if that very same rain had somehow walked into the room, leaving a trail of its energy behind.
You take a deep breath as you flip the page of the worn out book in your hand. You had read the novel at least a million times, but no passage in The Great Gatsby, or any other novel for that matter, got to you quite like Nick’s description of Gatsby’s death. You shiver a bit as chills roll down your spine.
A familiar, brown haired, blued eyed boy pops his head through the archway farthest away from where you were sitting. “Mind if I join you?” He asks, smirking a bit, his bangs falling perfectly against his forehead. He takes a step forward, and leans against the archway. He crosses his arms against his chest.
You can’t help but smile as you pat the cushion next to you, motioning for Five to sit down. He walks over, sitting a bit closer to you than you had expected. In his hand is a copy of Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. He leans back, extending his legs to the coffee table in front of you. You steal a quick glance at Five before returning back to your book.
Something about the moment felt unreal. Maybe it was the way Five’s eyes captured the moonlight, accentuating the vibrance in his blue eyes, all while somehow increasing your attraction towards him, something you thought was impossible. Regardless, in that moment you knew completely that you were in love with Five, and that you had been in love with him for a while.
You had met Five in the library one day while you were researching precognition and psychokinesis. For years your parents told you that you were strange, and somewhat cursed by a set of evil abilities. They medicated you to suppress your powers. Eventually, you recognized the terribleness in what they were putting you through, and you stopped taking your medication. The unfortunate downside to all this was the fact that you struggled controlling your psychokinesis and precognition. And, at times, your precognition was a curse rather than a blessing. You saw things you never wanted to see, for people you didn’t even know. All you knew was that these were futures you had to change.
If you hadn’t met Five that day at the library, you would have been lost. Somehow, he knew you weren’t “normal”. He could tell that you had abilities by the electricity in your eyes, the clear anxiety stretched across your face as you turned the pages of the book you were reading through.
He had also said there was a connection between you two. A certain, supersymmetry.
“Let me help you,” He had said.
That was about a year ago. Now your powers were much more developed, and much more controlled. Prior to Five’s help, along with the help of his siblings, you began to feel so much more comfortable. Your parents had seen you as a freak, someone who wasn’t worth anything. They made you so self conscious about yourself, to the point where you didn’t think you would ever belong somewhere.
Five however, made you feel important. He made you feel whole again. He made you feel so valued. For once in your life, you felt like you belonged.
Five silently moved a bit closer to you, the feeling of his shoulder brushing lightly up against yours snapping you back to reality. Heat rises to your cheeks, and you can feel yourself turning red. Your heart is beating out of your chest, and you can no longer concentrate on your book.
Five looks over to you, instantly recognizing that something was wrong. “Hey, are you alright?” His right hand reaches to hold your own. You swallow harshly as you feel his thumb softly brushing over the top of your hand. You wanted to tell him how you felt, right then and there.
“Y-yeah I’m okay,” You stutter. “It’s just this part of the book, it gets me a bit worked up,” You lie.
“Are you sure?” Five continues to question, adjusting himself so that his body faces you. “If something is wrong, you can talk to me about. You know I’m here for you,” He pauses, looking deeply into your eyes, “I’m always here for you.”
Five leans in a bit, studying your face carefully, his gaze shifting between your eyes and your lips. He’s inches away from you now. Five swallows harshly, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. You can feel his breath dance delicately against your cheeks.
There’s a tension in the air that you can’t describe as Five’s lips part. “Can I kiss you?” Five breathes, swallowing harshly again. You nod your head.
Five’s lips collide with yours. The kiss is soft and innocent. You close your eyes as your heart flutters in your chest, butterflies raging in the pit of your stomach. You had wanted this for so long. You feel so connected to Five, like supersymmetry.
Five’s warm lips pull away from yours, and you open your eyes.
Five smiles widely. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” He says, his face still inches away from yours. He nervously scratches the back of his neck. “I didn’t think you would want to, well, you know…” He trails off.
You shake your head. “I’ve liked you for such a long time, Five,” You explain. “Why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?”
Five looks off to the fireplace at the other end of the room. “I don’t know, I don’t feel like I’m not good enough for you. Why would someone like you want someone like me?”
You couldn’t believe what he was saying. Five was one of the most amazing people you had ever met. You take a deep breath, realizing what you needed to say. “Five, I’ve been in love with you for months now. The question is, why wouldn’t someone like me want someone like you?”
Five’s head whips back towards you. “You love me?”
Shit, I said that too soon, You think to yourself. Fuck, it’s too late now. “Y-yes,” You stutter. “I love you.”
The corners of Five’s mouth instantly turn up. “I lo-,”
Diego cuts Five off, rushing into the room, knives in his hands, fear in his eyes. His face was pale. He looked as though he had just seen a ghost. “Five! (Y/N)! We’ve got a bit of a problem on our hands…”
Suddenly, the windows lining the walls of the library violently swing open, and an intense, cold wind rushes through the room. Books fly off the shelves, pages tearing out due to the sheer pressure. Five grabs onto your hand, squeezing tightly.
“It can’t be,” Five says, standing up, still holding your hand in his. You stand up with him. “We locked her away, for good this time,” Five shouts in annoyance. You look at Five, the color drained from his face, his eyes frantically searching Diego’s for some sort of explanation.
“She’s here, Five. She’s in the courtyard, and she’s asking for (Y/N),” Diego says, his voice shaky. He anxiously runs a hand through his hair.
Dammit, You think to yourself. Vanya. Vanya had lost her temper once before, around the time that the Hargreeves took you into the Academy, and you had all agreed that it would be best to find a safe place to keep Vanya until she learned to control her powers. They didn’t want to emotionally instabilities and hurt Vanya further, but more importantly, they didn’t want her to have the opportunity to hurt a single person.
Five shakes his head in disbelief. “What the hell does Vanya want with (Y/N)?” Five questions, anger prevalent in his voice. “I swear to God, if she lays one hand on (Y/N), or does anything to hurt her, I’m going to mur-,”
Diego cuts Five off. “She’s your sister, you’re not going to kill her.”
Five rolls his eyes, letting go of your hand as he steps closer to Diego. “No, I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure nothing happens to (Y/N). If that means killing the person who has caused us so much pain and loss over the past two years, then that’s just what has to be done.” Five’s finger aggressively presses against Diego’s chest, his nose scrunched up in rage.
“Or I can just go out there and see what it is she wants. I can handle myself, you know,” You say, your arms folding across your chest.
Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain pressing against the side of your head. Fuck not now, You think to yourself as a vision of the future begins to display itself in your mind.
There was Vanya, across from Five. You were nowhere to be seen.
“She did this! She took my place! I’m supposed to be Number Seven! Not her!” Vanya screams at the top of her lungs.
“Vanya, you need to calm down!” Five shouts back, stepping closer towards Vanya.
“I am The White Violin! And don’t you dare fucking tell me to calm down!” Vanya says, running towards Five, her bow in her hand. Five attempts to teleport to the other side of the courtyard, but his powers refuse to cooperate.
“Vanya stop!" Five yells, backing up. But he’s trapped. She approaches him, bow in hand, ready to strike. She pulls back, then-
You fall to your knees, head in your hands. You begin to sob uncontrollably. You can’t, no you refuse, to fathom what it was you had just seen.
“(Y/N)?” Five calls out, dropping down to your side, his arms wrapping around you tightly. “What happened? Did you see something?”
You can’t speak. You can’t get the image of Five dying out of your mind. You move your body so that you’re crying into Five’s chest, his warmth calming you down a bit.
“Guys,” a new voice interjects. “No one told me about the psychotic woman in the courtyard. Now be honest, who ordered her to play the violin for us? I won’t be mad. I’m sure you had good intentions!” You knew instantly that it was Klaus, based on the fact that he was trying to make a joke out of a serious situation. You look up at him, expecting him to be chill, nonchalant, ready to crack another joke, but fear filled his face.
You pull apart from Five, pushing off the cold ground with your hands to stand up. “I have to go out there,” You say softly. “She’s here because of me.”
Five stands up, grabbing your wrist. “No, she’s just going to hurt you. I’ll go out there. I can talk her down. She trusts me.”
You shake your head, pulling away from Five once again. You take a deep breath. “N-not according to the v-vision I just h-had,” You say nervously. “F-five, sh-she…” You pause, anxiously scratching your forearm. “She k-killed y-you.” Tears fill your eyes. “I have to go out there. It can’t be you. Your powers are going to stop working due to her manipulation of the atmosphere, she knows how to best you. Sh-she knows h-how to d-destroy y-you.”
Silence looms over the room. You feel the wind picking up as more books fly off the shelves. Suddenly, all at once, the windows shatter.
“Fuck!” Diego screams, crouching down, holding his hands over his ears as shards of glass rain down. “We need to do something!”
Klaus nods his head in agreement as he crouches down next to Diego. You and Five crouch down as well. A few seconds pass by before it seems as though things had calmed down a bit. The wind, however, persisted.
“It has to be me,” You exclaim as you stand back up, walking towards the nearest door to the courtyard.
“You can’t do this, (Y/N)! Look what Vanya’s capable of! I can’t lose you!” Five yells, his voice struggling to carry over the wind.
“I’m sorry, Five,” You say, picking up your speed as you run out of the room, struggling to move against the wind.
“No!” You hear Five’s voice echo behind you. You turn around to see Klaus and Diego holding Five back, kicking and screaming like a child. You wish you hadn’t turned around. Turning around is never a good idea…ever. It makes you see a second option, another choice. You could go back, let someone else take their chance at stopping Vanya.
But in reality, you had no choice. It was just the allusion of choice. If you turned around, someone else would die, and eventually Vanya would most likely find a way kill you anyway. She was here for you, and that was exactly what she was going to get.
Tears begin to stream down your cheeks as you recognize what it was you were about to do. You were sacrificing yourself for the others. You knew it had to be done, you knew there was no other way. You needed to save Five. He’s survived through so much, he could get through losing you. And after all, as your parents had so often reminded you, you were worthless. He’d get over you quickly enough.
You begin to sob as you approach the set of French doors that led to the courtyard. You carefully maneuver around the broken shards of glass on the ground so you could open the door. Your hand rests on the handle.
This is it, here we go, You think to yourself. You twist the handle, and you pull the door open.
The wind outside is even more intense. You can barely breathe. Rain taps away at the concrete. Vanya is in the center of the courtyard, levitating about three feet in the air. An ominous blue light surrounds her, and garden chairs swirl about her. Broken pots and other items are scattered across the ground in a huge mess.
“Vanya!” You call out, your voice weak from crying. Still, somehow, she hears you clearly. The objects spinning around her stop, and they remain suspended in air.
“My name is no longer Vanya!” She screams. “It’s White Violin!” With a single look, Vanya lifts a piece of broken glass, and sends it flying towards you. You extend your right hand out, stopping the shard just inches away from your face.
You swallow harshly. “Let me talk to you, Vanya. I can fix this!” You shout.
Vanya scoffs. “You took my place, (Y/N)! I’m Number Seven. You’re nothing. You’re worthless! You aren’t even one of the 43 babies! What are you? Seventeen years old? You’re a child!”
Her words are far too familiar to you. They sound exactly like your parents. Tears begin to fall down your cheeks rapidly. Amidst all the chaos, all you can think about is the hell you had endured for years. You close your eyes as you flashback to your mother telling you that she didn’t love you, your father essentially disowning you, and finally, being kicked out of your own home.
Then, an idea pops into your mind. “Vanya, I know how it feels to be hurt, to feel like you don’t have a place, to feel different. We’re more similar than you think. Together, we can get through this. I can help y-,”
Your words are interrupted by a sharp pain in your lower abdomen. You grab at the area, and you feel a sharp object. You look down, your hands and clothing now covered in blood. An incredibly large shard of glass sticks out of your stomach. You look up towards Vanya, and back down to where she had stabbed you. You fall to the ground.
The cold wind passes through your body. The concrete underneath you is unwelcoming and frigid. How did all this happen? You think to yourself. How did I not see this coming? I’m so naive. I thought I could help her…fix her.
“(Y/N)!” You hear Five’s voice call out. “No, no, no!” Five hovers over you, his hand coming down to your cheek. “Stay with me, please.”
“I-I’m s-so sorry,” You croak, the pain worsening.
“No, don’t apologize, please don’t do that,” Tears stream down Five’s face. He takes a deep breath. “I love you. I meant to say that before all of this happened. I’m in love with you, (Y/N), please just stay with me.”
You smile weakly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop her. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt sooner. I just need you to know-,”
Five cuts you off, his warm lips pressing against yours. The kiss is quick, and you wish it could’ve lasted longer. “No, you aren’t saying goodbye to me, not yet. Stay with me, please.” Five kisses your forehead lightly. “I can’t lose you.” His hands are trembling as his thumb softly brushes your left cheek. You feel that connection again, the connection you had felt when Five had kissed you in the library just minutes ago. Supersymmetry.
You hear Vanya’s voice echo throughout the courtyard. “It had to be done, Five. She took my place. She ruined everything for me!” Five’s eyes shut tightly at her words, tears flowing freely from his eyes.
Five opens his ocean blue eyes again, his bangs resting against his forehead. He studies your face carefully. “I’m so sorry that you’ll have to be here for this, but it has to be done,” Five says, standing up.
You’re beyond confused. What is he talking about? You think to yourself. “F-Five…” You trail off, too drained of energy to be able to say anything.
“Hey Vanya!” Five yells out. “Think fucking fast!”
You can’t see what happens, but you hear a singular gun shot ring out. Suddenly, the wind stops. You hear a clatter of things falling to the ground, and then everything turns to black.
Your eyes flutter open. The world is white. You look around, but it seems as though there is nothing to be seen. You sit up from the soft, white bed you had been laying on. You swing your feet around to the right side, and you stand up. The floor beneath your feet is warm and inviting. You turn around, and you see a figure with long brown hair, dressed in white.
You immediately know who it is.
“Vanya?” You call out. Vanya turns around to face you, a small, sad, apologetic smile spread across her face.
She begins to walk towards you. “I’m so sorry,” She whispers. “You have no idea how sorry I am, (Y/N).”
In that moment, it felt as though you two were being brought together by some outside presence. You were connected. It was supersymmetry.
Vanya then disappears into nothingness, and a welcoming, calming presence takes you away.
Your eyes open groggily, rays of light pouring into the room. You spot Five slumped in a chair next to the bed you were laying in. You seem to be in an infirmary. “Wh-what happened?” You say, struggling to sit up.
“Oh my God, (Y/N),” Five says softly, almost in disbelief, rushing over to your side. “I thought I’d never see those eyes again,” He chuckles lightly, clearly fighting through the pain he had been feeling. You can’t help but smile.
Suddenly, memories of what had happened come back to you in bits and pieces.
“How long was I unconscious for?” You ask, searching Five’s piercing blue eyes for an answer.
“Only about twenty four hours, but they were the longest twenty four hours of my life. We weren’t sure if you were…” Five trails off, looking down at his feet. “I-If you were going to make it.”
“And Vanya?” You question, even though you’re almost more than certain that you knew the answer.
“She didn’t make it,” Five says, his voice filled with remorse, tears filling his eyes. “I had to do it, (Y/N). She would’ve hurt other people.”
You grab his hand. “You don’t need to justify what you did. You did the right thing,” You say reassuringly.
“When I saw what she did to you, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t lose you,” He shakes his head.
“And you didn’t. You never will,” You say to Five.
There was that feeling again, that connection…supersymmetry.