June 12, 2016 will forever be known as the day of the Orlando mass shooting. It was more than that for me, much more. Instead of waking up excited for the game that night, excited to celebrate my birthday, I woke up to a flurry of texts messages and horrible news. It was one of the hardest, emotional days I've ever had. I remember the emotions like waves of the ocean washing over me, crushing my chest with its weight, the salt water stinging my eyes. The feeling that I'll never come up from this, never breathe again. I remember the fear and worry for my friends, my family, the victims, my city, like those horrible nightmares that are too real. The ones you wake up from in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and afraid of falling asleep again because you'll fear you'll drift right back into it. The ones you wake up from and you have to tell yourself, "it was just a dream, monster aren't real, it's just a dream". Except this monster was real, and there was no waking up from this nightmare. I remember the relief, after that final text message verifying every league member was safe and accounted for. I remember being unable to hold it in as we drove down the highway. I remember sitting in silence as I sobbed in my boyfriends truck, asking him questions he never answered, and the world never answered. Why our city? Not our city, were a good city, this doesn't happen here. Why those people? What did they ever do? Why them? How can someone do this to so many people? Why? Why? Why them? After hours going in and out of sobbing fits, I finally got my head together when my captain texted me. Should we still have the game? The answer was obvious. I remember laying my jersey out on my bed, the purple ORLANDO across the chest. Looking at that jersey and seeing the weight it was about to bare gave me strength. I stopped sobbing and started writing. Ive written speeches for the team before, but today wasn't about us, it was about our city and standing up for the victims. And showing the world we are strong. ORLANDO STRONG My heart still aches. While reading this article out loud at the dinner table, my voice still shook. I had to stop a few times to clear my throat in order to stop from crying. We are still hurting, we are still healing. And our city is stronger than ever, because we are together. If you'd like to read the full speech, it's below: Today we woke up to tragedy. Today, our city, the city we represent, the city we play for, the city we love, was shaken to its core. Today will be filled with sadness, today will be filled with anger. But Today will be filled with love. Today we play for those victims who lost their lives and the family and friends who have been affected. Today we play for our neighbors, our brothers and sisters, our family that encompasses the entirety of Orlando. We stand strong today. We stand hand in hand, United together, with the deepest bond possible. We won't let the people who wish to harm us win. We will show them that trying to weaken us will only make us stronger. We will show them that only love can triumph over hate. Today we will turn our grief into strength and our anger into action. We won't let this tragedy define us. We are Orlando. We are beautiful, we are strong, we are Orlando. Today is the day we show the world Orlando won't be shaken so easily. Today is the day we stand strong and fight for the ones we love. And Today we make a better tomorrow for our city. We are Orlando, on 3.
