Hello. I've come to tumblr because you were so sweet to respond to every single one of my comments on Pull Apart the Dark. If I let myself, I'll just blab and slam your comments some more.
1. You've forever created an association with Toothless in my head. I dare a random HTTYD toy the other day and nearly bought it because it reminded me of Stepushka and his Buckybear.
2. Thank you so much for that wonderful (and painful) reading experience. That fic is easily a top 5 for me.
3. I read your responses in my email, so I for to reread the comments I left that you were replying to. I nearly cried a few times rereading some of the lines I selected.
I did technically already start a reread, but didn't get very far. I might need to read it all now.
It was so fun reading your comments and getting to reply to them, you are always welcome to blab away. :) I am delighted that I have now turned HTTYD into a Stucky-adjacent movie, and am so very happy that this fic is still bringing people joy all these years later!
Just want you to know I read Pull Apart the Dark days ago and I can't stop thinking about it and even started rereading it already.
What have you done to me?
I always say I love reread comments the best, but I don't normally get them with such a short turnaround time! :) I am absolutely delighted that this teenaged story (yikes, soon it will be old enough to vote!) has sucked you in.
I originally started writing in Sam's POV because Bucky's was not getting the job done, and then all of the very tired grown ups (and angry toddler) wound up very near and dear to my heart. There was actually supposed to be an epilogue originally where Tony wakes Sam up for an emergency, and the emergency is that Bucky (finally, Tony thinks loudly enough for everyone to read it off his face) comes to play midnight video games. So Tony and Bucky are playing video games and Sam is attempting to fall back asleep on one of their many, many beanbag chairs, and there's Steve asleep in his and Bucky's bedroom. (Bucky tucked the Bucky bear in next to him. JARVIS keeps the video feed running on the far wall.)
I am Fivecrazyraccoons. You can call me Mad. I’m about to be 30, neurodivergent, queer, gender-fluid, and use they/them, pronouns. I have a hyperfixation with the MCU overall (but mostly Cap and Bucky) that borders insanity. I started reading fanfic around summer/fall of last year and started writing in the October last year when the ideas hit me and won’t go away.
I have many opinions about a lot of things to do with the MCU and will talk at length if you let me (please let me).
Most of my writing follows canon with my headcanons for what happens off-screen and in their heads. I do have miscellaneous works that are AUs and such, but I’m not presently working on them seriously. I like diving deep into characters and relationships and less on huge extravagant plots.
I’ve recently started writing drabbles (and doubles and triples) from scenes that inspire me and it’s helped get some ideas out without starting another grand project. I think it would be a fun challenge to take prompts for drabbles based on scenes or lines, so send them my way!
I also like to talk queer and trans things, neurodivergent things, Legos (I recently built the Avengers tower), and yarn crafts.
See here for my Stucky fic rec list
See here for my AO3 masterlist and current wips
Find me on AO3 here
See raccoon explanation below
Imagine the Pixar movie Inside Out, but all the brain workers are feral raccoons. The five in headquarters are not based on emotions, but various things relating to my neurodivergencies. Three of them have names. I’m still coming up with the other two.
Autism raccoon - what it says. They have many sensory issues, tend to take things very literally, don’t love being thrown into social situations, and have very strong opinions. Still needs a name.
PDA raccoon - he’s got pathological demand avoidance/pervasive drive for autonomy. A really overly-simplified explanation is an extreme version of “don’t tell me what to do.” It is much more than that though. Something as little as a suggestion or something I’ve told myself I plan to do can set him off and he will be upset and refuse to do anything. Prone to setting off the other raccoons. He was born of trauma and lack of autonomy. His name is Rocket (yes after GOTG Rocket)
ADHD raccoon - he’s got trouble focusing and is easily distracted unless we get into tunnel vision and then he will keep me working on the same thing for HOURS. He craves social interaction and just wants to talk about his hyperfixations. His name is Bubbles (after the fish in Finding Nemo). Pretty sure Bubbles is the one that chases the plot bunnies.
BPD raccoon - thankfully pretty dormant lately. But when set off he splits and it’s really not fun. He’s prone to being mean as a really bad self-sabotaging coping mechanism. He is named Stitch because he was only created to destroy but also he kind of just wants to be loved and cuddled
Masking raccoon - she’s tired. She focuses on making me act relatively normal in public so I don’t accidentally say offensive things or make faces that make people think I’m upset. We’re working on giving her a break. But as a late-diagnosed AFAB that’s spent years working with the public in a way that I have to play their game, it’s hard. She also doesn’t have a name.
It seems kind of crazy, but this has really helped me analyze my brain, my feelings, and why I may be acting or reacting a certain way. If I can identify which raccoon is in control, I can better determine my own needs. I am also convinced that everyone has brain animals (whether they’re all the same or multiple head animals) and most of my neurospicy friends love this theory and have adopted it. We ask each other a deeper level of “how are you doing” by saying things like “how are the squirrels today?” And communicate when we’re not doing so great by saying things like “the raccoons are on something today.” For me it also separates out sometimes how I don’t WANT to be feeling a certain way and sometimes I know my thoughts are not rational, but I can’t help it in the moment.
