Diary of a Six-Year-Old Survivor
My ballet recital is Monday night. My grandma and grandpa are even coming to my show. Mommy made me my costume. I get to wear a pink tutu. I am so nervous, but mommy said that it’s okay. It’s okay to be nervous sometimes, it means you want to do well. I had school today. Teacher told us to write a story, so I wrote one about a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. Teacher says, that is called meti metamorphisis metamorphosis. I really like Teacher, she’s really nice. She gives us cookies on Fridays and likes to play games with us. Sometimes when we are good, Teacher giv
Saturday December 15 2012
The alarms went off yesterday. They were loud. Teacher told us to stop writing and hide under our desk yesterday. She said we were playing a game. She said whoever didn’t make a sound would win a prize. She never told us what the prize was. Teacher turned off the lights and wiggled the door knob. The door didn’t open. Teacher hid under her desk, too. Someone banged on the door. We giggled. Teacher started to cry. We stopped. There was more banging, another wiggle of the doorknob. The banging stopped. Then we heard loud shots. They sounded like daddy’s gun. Daddy hunts. No one hunts in school though. We waited. The alarms were loud but the shots were louder. I covered my ears until a policeman came in the room and walked us to our mommy’s and daddy’s.
Mommy didn’t stop hugging me today. She just kept me in her arms and whispered she loved me.
I didn’t go to school today. Mommy told me it was because of a bad man. I don’t know what she means. Today was my recital. I got to wear my pink tutu. Grandma and Grandpa came. They told me how pretty I was. Suzy didn’t show up to the recital. Suzy is my best friend. We eat popsicles and color together. Mommy said Suzy was sick.
Tuesday, December 18 2012
I get to go back to school today. Mommy hugged me really tight today, she didn’t stop telling me she loved me. I told her I loved her too. She would not let go. Teacher’s eyes were red today. I hugged Teacher, and told her I loved her. She said thank you and cried more. I didn’t see Suzy at lunch today. I hope she feels better soon. We always sit together. I really miss Suzy.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Mommy told me Suzy was in heaven. She said the bad man killed her. I asked mommy why he would do that. Mommy didn’t answer. She just kept crying.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Mommy dressed me in my only black dress today. She said it was for Suzy’s funeral today. She said we had to go to pay our respects, but it’s also a chance to say goodbye. I had to say goodbye to my best friend. Today was my seventh birthday.
Wednesday December 14 2016
I turn eleven in six days. Mommy still cries around this time of year. She always repeats, “It could have been you,” and “Those poor parents.” I understand now that I could have died. I understand now what death is. I miss Suzy every day, and I will never understand how someone could do such a thing. We were all innocent. We were all innocent children. My dad no longer hunts. He doesn’t keep a gun in the house. Mommy doesn’t just drop me off at school anymore. She walks me to the classroom door, and kisses me on my forehead. Everything changed because of that day.