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A message for Hide★

Today, May 2nd, 2026, it's Hideto Matsumoto's 28th death anniversary, Hide Memorial Day.

Born December 13th, 1964, he was an excellent guitarist, best known for his solo career (1993-1998) and for playing in bands such as Yokosuka Saver Tiger (1981-1987 and 1998), MxAxSxS (1993), Spread Beaver (1998), zilch (1998), and the legendary band that gave the v系 scene its name, X JAPAN (1987-1997)

May 1st, 1998, Hide appeared on this program where he was interviewed, and Spread Beaver played a few songs (Rocket Dive, Pink Spider's only performance…)

As night fell, he and Spread Beaver's members went out drinking.

Hide got extremely drunk, and by the end of the night, his younger brother Hiroshi had to go and pick him up to take him home.

Here, the mystery and confusion begin for us:

There are theories that Hiroshi and Hide fought the way home (It would make sense knowing that Hide had kind of a unstable temper when he was drunk), but it's not confirmed.

Once home, around 6-7 in the morning (I don't remember the exact time), Hide's girlfriend left as he arrived.

(It's supposedly not confirmed whether the woman living with Hide was his girlfriend, but I think it wouldn't make sense if she weren't. I think the reason people thought that at the time of Hide's death was because many people hadn't seen the May 1st interview where he said he DID have a girlfriend, or perhaps it didn't aired yet back at the time of Hide's death news?)

She left at that time of the morning, we don't know why, and returned about an hour later, finding Hide hanging from a doorknob with a towel.

Hide was taken to the hospital, but at 08:52 on May 2, 1998, he was declared dead.

There are fairly well-supported theories that Hide likely had bipolar disorder and depressive episodes (Some fans who are mental health professionals have even done small investigations and “diagnoses” ww, Hide's fans are truly dedicated), all of that combined with the huge impact of X JAPAN's disbandment and all the overwhelming work with Spread Beaver, supports the theory that Hide committed suicide.

On the other hand, X JAPAN's members, X ex-member TAIJI and hide's close ones, said that they can't really believe that Hide had committed suicide, stating that sometimes Hide used to do some neck stretches that required a towel (as he used to have neck, upper back and shoulder pain from his guitar strap), and that it may have been an accident while Hide was performing these stretches.

This theory says that Hide passed out from too much alcohol or fell asleep while doing these.

In the interview with Hide on May 1st, he can be seen grabbing one of his shoulders several times. I think the interviewers at some point asked him about it, and he complained of discomfort and pain in that area.

This interview is crucial. It leaves the possibilities at 50% suicide and 50% accident. Hide talks about his future, getting up the next morning and eating a huge breakfast and future projects. On the other hand, in this interview he looks tired, and some people think his smile and laughter seem forced. The same goes for many recordings from that same year, 1998.

A third and final fan theory that has less backing and support, but I've heard enough people talking about it, is that he was murdered by his girlfriend (Does anyone ACTUALLY believe this one?)

This is supported by unanswered questions:

Why did she leave the house just as Hide arrived, heavily drunk, and if Hide DID really have these temper issues, probably clearly upset?

Why did she leave at such an unusual time, not for something common like going to work, in which case she would return several hours later, but to return about an hour later?

What did she go to do?

In case there HAD been a quarrel between Hide and Hiroshi during the car journey, could Hide have also had an argument with his girlfriend when he got home?

It is said that during the investigation, the police found his laptop open and a new diary entry for his website had been in progress.

This last update was never published by anyone else and is lost, likely forever.

Hide's last thoughts before making a harsh decision? A suicide note? How had the previous day been, so hectic?

Many fans complain that the investigation into his death was closed extremely quickly, as if they had marked it as a suicide without even investigating, ruling out possibilities.

News of his death was given between May 3 and 4, and his funeral was held on May 7th.

It is estimated that around 50,000 people attended it.

There was a traffic accident caused by sleep-deprived fans who came driving from far away, in which 7 people were injured.

There is a lot of talk about a particular girl who was cutting her wrists at the doors of the temple before bringing Hide flowers.

In the following days, 3 teenagers committed copycat suicide.

Several ambulances also arrived, as that one May 7th in Tokyo was an extremely hot day; this, along with the large crowd, caused several people to faint from the heat and emotional exhaustion.

News reports also captured fans accusing Toshi of Hide's death, who, upon joining the Home Of Heart cult, had left X JAPAN, causing its dissolution due to having an irreplaceable role.

These girls crying, shouting at the camera: "I blame Toshi! I blame Toshi!"

We know that in the hour before The Last Live, Hide was trying to convince Toshi not to leave X JAPAN and that he was furious with him.

At the funeral, X JAPAN's members, fulfilling Hide's wishes, played a few songs.

Some fans say that Yoshiki, after giving his speech, once the car carrying Hide left, he collapsed and fell to his knees on the ground, in tears.

It was also the second time we saw PATA cry.

Taiji wasn't even notified about Hide's death or invited to the funeral, but because of all the commotion in such a short time, he found out about the news in time to rush to the temple and be the last person to visit Hide. That day, Taiji reunited with X's members for the first time since his departure back in 1992.

Rest in peace, our silly, chaotic, but polite and talented, chain-smoking Hide.

How many people will bring flowers, letters, stuffed animals, drawings, packs of cigarettes, or any gift to your grave today?

People still remember you almost three decades after you left…!

You made a really huge impact on the music industry and the v系 scene. Many famous artists today were inspired by you. Artists who may make music completely different from what you or the bands you were in made. Artists who are probably not within the v系 scene. Artists that only their most dedicated fans will find out they are your fans, and they'll be surprised and think, "Who is this guy? What does he have to do with this person?", as they begin to investigate who were you.

Hide, in an interview, you talked about whether at 50 you would still enjoy being a musician and that it would be strange to still be making music as your job by then, but that if it was still fun, you'd happily continue with it. This year, you will be turning 62. Do you still enjoy making music?

Hide, did you know that in 2005, Mayuko's parents opened a cafe in your honor? It's too sad you couldn't fulfill the cheesecake promise. Mayuko has also passed away, but we are sure that she was eternally grateful to you for helping to raise awareness of her condition and how important it is to be a donor.

Hide, did you know that X JAPAN reunited? And it was none other than Sugizo who took your place as lead guitar. TAIJI played in one show, too, as a guest.

Hide, what are your thoughts on Kamen Rider's Heisei era?

Hide, your arthouse film, Seth et Holth, is a masterpiece, but was it an excuse to make out with Tusk?

Now, you're sleeping peacefully, preciously. Everyone tried to wake you up; your relatives tried; your friends tried; Yoshiki tried; Toshimitsu tried; Ishizuka tried; Hiroshi tried; Taiji tried; even your fans tried, but you won't open your eyes; you kept your eyelids down in your silent slumber.

"Hide-chan!! Hide-chan! Can you hear us? Wake up! The sun has risen, morning has just begun, it's a new day! Open your eyes, get on your feet and take that towel off your neck! We know sometimes it is hard to breathe, even more when you fill your lungs with so much smoke everyday and tie something tight around your neck, but it is too early for you to go. You didn't even turn 34 yet. You have your whole life ahead of you. We can't just let go of you yet. In yesterday's interview you promised the interviewer you would go on this trip with him. You talked about getting up on this day, 28 years ago, and eating a huge breakfast. You promised Mayuko you would take her out for cheesecake when she recovered and was discharged from the hospital. You promised to keep making music. You promised so many things to us."

Hide, I hope your last moments, your last breath, your last blink, you weren't having a bad time. I hope the alcohol dulled any pain. The pain from the stress from work, the pain from X JAPAN's disbandment, the pain from The Last Live, the pain from On The Verge Of Destruction, the pain from dealing with potential emotional disorders, the pain you would fell in your lungs and throat everytime you breathed due to smoking way too much, the pain from your guitar strap, the pain from waking up with a hangover not knowing if you messed something up last nigh; the pain in your eyes, body and mental health from your lack of sleep, the pain of the fall when you were drunk that left you with a skull fracture and a month in the hospital, the pain from when your parents got mad over you finding femenine traits on a man valuable, the pain from the contents of a fire extinguisher accidentally getting in your mouth while fooling around with your friends, the pain when you stopped seeing Yoshiki so often because he moved to Los Angeles; because he was and still is a workaholic, because X JAPAN disbanded and you two had to go your separate ways; the pain from no longer being able to go out drinking with your band members, the pain from no longer being able to go out drinking with PATA, the pain from not being able to see your nephew anymore, the pain of not knowing that day would be your last goodbye to this world, the pain of not had being able to say a proper goodbye to your loved ones, to your fans; we know how much you hated goodbyes, when a band broke up or an artist retired, that's why you proposed The Last Live back then, so that X JAPAN fans could have a minimally decent goodbye, though the reunion was later done to try to let the band go in a better way than the 1997 disaster with Toshi joining the cult, and it ended up being a worse ending, we didn't even get any prior warning or farewell for their last show. I know that if you had known, if it hadn't been such a hasty decision, you would have said goodbye to all of us, too.

I hope you're doing well, wherever you are. We all hope you're.

"Hide-chan, sometimes you said you'd like to disappear completely, that you were a manic-depressive, was that true? You said you were used to say those things without thinking, to kill yourself, to kill someone… But Hide, you lie to us in our faces a lot. You said you didn't drink much, not even you believed that yourself. You were an alcoholic. You slept little, and you didn't want to sleep either. The thought of going to bed depressed you, you said. You said you went through episodes of paranoia, avoiding people. You'd get depressed easily, your 'weak tear ducts'. Hide-chan, months before your unexpected death, you gave your brother specific instructions on what to do in case you died out of the blue. You knew it, didn't you? You had thought about your death. It just wasn't planned. You were trying to keep up. «I'm nothing without Yoshiki», you said once. X JAPAN was your happiness, your life, truly, though at first they seemed a bit scary to you.. You were drunk, you were tired, you were upset, you were confused, you were in pain, you just wanted to calm all of that down, so you took that damn towel with your calloused guitar hands and tied it up."

What would things be like if you were still around? Would you have changed your musical style? Would you have moved away from v系? Would Toshi have left the cult earlier? Would X JAPAN have reunited earlier? How happy would you have been to play with your old bandmates again? To share the stage with Taiji again? Seeing the stands full of people arriving from far away to see you, again. Seeing how many sales your last release had. Watching the internet grow and evolve. You once said, "In the future, people from anywhere in the world will be able to talk through these things in real time."

Would you have kept your extravagant pink hair? Maybe going back to red? Or a new color?

This shouldn't be a condolence message on the 28th anniversary of your passing, this should be a letter wishing you a very happy 62nd birthday. You left us too soon. Everyone has been missing you since the first minute you left. It was a great loss, for your loved ones, your fans, for the music world…

There will never be another like him. There may be copycats, yes, but there will never be anyone with the same charisma, who speaks honestly even in front of the cameras, with such skill for composing and moving your fingers between the guitar strings while spinning.

Rest in peace.

#hide #hideto matsumoto #condolences #rest in peace #RIP

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