hazardous material
Pairing: Adrian Chase x bimbo(ish)!reader Summary: John has to grapple with the fact you've taken a liking to Adrian. Warnings + notes: Fluff, reader is ditzy but sciency smart (kinda like Elle Woods?), based off this request, Adrian basically falls in love at first sight and lowkey so does reader, reader implied to be shorter than John, contains peacemaker spoilers(vaguely)
John is known to overshare small and insignificant things about his life. He’s never had a girlfriend, he’s had crippling anxiety as a kid, he hasn’t been checked for testicular cancer in a long time, and he doesn’t like it when he has his balls in someones mouth. Some may say it was for safety, to protect his family and loved ones from being targeted- whether from shitty jokes or deadly surveillance. Even with having a job that keeps a low profile, A.R.G.U.S could be unpredictable- it was hard to find trust in that office.
So it was a big surprise when a beautiful, bubbly girl that looked nothing like him strolled right on into Checkmate with balloons, takeout, and flowers, claiming that she was his younger sister.
“Hello! I’m looking for my brother, John Economos- he’s a big guy, very natural beard, probably wearing a graphic t-shirt and a flannel, aviator glasses? We look exactly alike.” Your voice is sincere and cheery, impossibly bright demeanor for someone who’s visiting the office to see Economos of all people.
Harcourt squints her eyes, looking up and down at you in shock before nodding slowly. “He’s stationed right over there.” Her finger points towards the corner, where you can see your brother’s head above the cubicle, snacking on what you assume is Doritos while blissfully unaware of your presence.
You smile with your whole face, thanking her with a chipper tone as you beeline towards him. Harcourt and Adebayo watch as your skirt flounces with each click-clack of your heels echoing throughout the quiet space.
“What the kind of business does a girl like that have to do with John?”
“She said he was her sister- I’ve worked with him for years and he has never mentioned a sister.”
“There’s no way they’re actually related.”
They watch intently as you tap him on the shoulder, startling him as chip crumbs fly across his desk. He turns around, irritated before slipping into a relaxed smile, standing up to give you a… secret handshake??
John Economos has had a sister this whole time and they’re actually close? Close enough to have a fucking handshake? Ads and Harcourt’s faces screw up in confusion as they watch the interaction unfold.
Although you know he isn’t one for physical touch, he still pulls you in for an awkward hug, lightly gripping your shoulder in affection because, yes, while his brain is wired weird, he does still love his sister and it does feel good to be reminded that he is cared for. You know him well enough to appreciate his telltale signs of affection, and the gesture makes you soften as you part from him.
“Congratulations on the new job! I hope this means I can visit regularly.” You place the flowers on his desk and clip the balloon on his hoodie, giggling as it moves slightly with his motions.
“I mean, it’s better than the big A- there’s definitely other things to worry about here though.” His voice trails off, eyeing Ads and Harcourt from across the room, who quickly shuffle to look busy before returning their gaze. “You didn’t have to come, y’know. I could have met with you at, wherever you got this stuff.”
“Well I know that, but it was last minute and I wanted to bring you stuff cause I know your desk would look like-“ You pause, skimming over the cubicle that had a calendar on the side, a photo from what seemed like a post-mission victory with other people, and a flimsy plastic succulent along with the mug you had gifted him for his birthday last year, filled with bic pens and Dixon pencils. “That. I just wanted to liven things up a little. Plus, I haven’t seen you in like a month!”
The corners of his mouth just turn slightly, standing awkwardly as he watches you rummage around his desk. “I am really grateful you came by but I don’t know how to process it without sweating.”
You roll your eyes, unpacking the lunch you brought before handing him his plate. “You can’t process anything without sweating!” The giggle you let out is infectious. Ads and Harcourt can’t help but snicker, not even bothering to turn their heads the second time when John sends them a glare.
“Can you two not?”
Ads shakes her head, putting her hands up in surrender. “Sorry man, it’s just- you never mentioned having a sister before so this is really… surprising.”
John freezes, shifting nervously as you turn around, a frown tugging at your lips. “You’ve never talked about me?”
“I don’t like talking about my personal life and I don’t like it when people make you the butt of the jokes when I finally do mention you.” For a good period of time, John had heard a handful of untasteful jokes about you when he had finally shown someone at his old job a picture of you both during your graduation.
“You told us about your balls when you had basically first met Ads.”
“That was Chris’s fault and it was self defense.”
“Was it about the testicular cancer thing? I told you that you need to get it checked out- I swear it runs in our dads side or something.”
Harcourt is nearly stunned in silence, watching you two interact was like, something totally fake or ai-generated. You were nothing like him. Your hair was perfectly cut and styled, nails painted pretty pink, and your outfits were so… bright. It’s like pink sparkles and rainbows followed you everywhere you went.
“Are you two like, fully related?”
You look at Harcourt like she’d fucking stupid- looking at John and looking at yourself before nodding. “Uh, yeah. Can’t you tell? We literally look exactly alike.”
Ads almost laughed- thinking it was a joke, but the sound never leaves her mouth at the absolute honesty in your voice. Your face was completely serious- as if what you said was complete and utter fact.
Harcourt does nothing but nod. “Right. I guess I wasn’t seeing it before but I am now.” The look she shares with Ads is unsure, but she doesn’t question further.
John lets you rattle on about random things going on. How none of your lab partners can do anything right, how irritating your job is, and how despite working the absolute hardest on everything, no one has been taking you seriously. Sure, you’ll forget what day it is and forget California isn’t a country- but who cares about that?
It clicks in Harcourt’s head that you’re a total ditz, where you excelled in social interaction must mean you lack in basic knowledge. How the hell can someone think of California as a whole fucking state?
As you walk off, waving goodbye to everyone in the office (which was still just Ads and Harcourt) beaming with a cheery smile, Harcourt does exactly what John fears the second you close the door.
“Can’t believe you never talked about your bimbo sister.”
John’s voice is back to it’s cut and dry tone, slightly glaring at Harcourt before he takes one last bite of his lunch. “She may be a little clueless, but she’s not a bimbo. I mean yeah if you consider all the-“ He motions his hand with a wave, pursing his lips as he thinks of a good way to describe it. “The glitter and pink.”
Ads raises a brow. “She thought California was a country, John.”
“Ok yeah. She can be a little clueless but she’s not dumb. She made this weird, exothermic contraption in like eighth grade that set off the fire alarm. She’s always had this insane talent with science. She’s pretty good with tech too, but she just dabbled because I did.”
It’s probably a little misogynistic in the way Harcourt doesn’t believe him at first- but John gives her no probable reason to doubt, and John normally doesn’t defend anyone with such sharpness. “She just, doesn’t really talk like someone who would know that stuff. Not really any need to present smarter when you just are.”
“Why don’t you offer her a position here then? Someone good with that could be really useful here.”
John taps his fingers on the desk, once, twice, before shaking his head. “You guys are too fucked up for her. She deserves to live a normal life and I don’t think she’ll achieve that here.”
“Why not? I mean, she clearly hates her other job and isn’t getting along with people. I need someone here that isn’t such a Debbie downer.” Ads looks at Harcourt apologetically, unsure if she offended her in the process.
“Ads is right- she could be a valuable asset and she’d be treated well here. Adrian has enough blood money to probably keep her employed for the rest of her life too. With health insurance.”
“She’d be valued here.”
The last statement is what has the gears turning in Johns head. You had been complaining about your job for months- disappointed with the fact that even with your multiple degrees and feats within your workplace, everyone treats you condescendingly and you’ve been thinking about finding a different job anyways. All you really wanted was to make enough money and have a space to conduct research- and the lab here is already collecting dust from the lack of use besides Chris and Adrian making a baking soda volcano when they’re bored.
“I’ll think about it.”
Triumphantly, Ads and Harcourt give each other a silent, subtle fist bump. You’ll be Checkmates most valued employee by the end of this month.
-
Adrian doesn’t have the blessing of meeting you until you visit Checkmate again a week later, lunch in hand and same happy smile beaming as you walk through the doors. You greet Harcourt with enthusiasm, hugging her like you’ve known her for years, and she lets you. Your unwavering positivity and sweet perfume leave even her bending to your whims.
“He’s not here right now, he’ll be in a meeting and out and about for a while, but if you have time you can totally hang out at his desk til he gets here.”
“I got time! I quit my job today so I’m actually just… um.” You look down dejectedly. “I don’t know. In need of company I guess.”
The blonde’s face slightly softens. “I’m sorry to hear that. If you want-“ she hesitates, almost considering John’s fears of letting you work here before continuing. “We could really value someone with your skillset. In both science and social.”
As if someone shooed the rain cloud above your head, you brighten instantly. “Really? Could I build things here? We could run assays and thermal tests and solvent profiling-“ You cover your mouth slightly, stopping yourself before you get too excited. “As long as you don’t mind glitter everywhere! It’s actually mica powder, not glittery plastic. My work keeps saying it’s a ‘liability’ but it’s literally a mineral? I don’t think they have any idea what they’re talking about ever. We’re not even dealing with stuff that’ll be effected by a little sparkle.
The longer you talk, the sharper your words get. It’s not a complete turnaround, your bubbly charm still persists as you talk about basal cleavage and thermal stability. “Mica’s cleavage planes make it really hard for it to interfere with any of our labs unless what we’re dealing with is extremely sensitive- which most of the time it’s not. Honestly, their b.o would probably do more damage than mica powder.” You shudder, thinking about your last coworker who probably couldn’t wear deodorant if a gun was pointed to his head.
“It’s totally non-flammable too. Perfect Basal cleavage too- you can split them into thin sheets that are tough and flexible. Overall a great mineral- but nooo glitter and whimsy is too much for the people at my work.”
Harcourt’s face turns from confusion to amusement, just barely keeping up with your words before it morphes into something more akin to respect.
“You talk like glitter, but you think like a textbook.”
Like a flower on a sunny day, your face blooms with gratitude as you smile. “Thank you! That’s the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me!”
Harcourt’s head tilts, lips pursing as she looks at you. “They really didn’t see any of this? You really do talk like you know your shit.”
You shrug, puckering your lips into a pout as you think. “They liked my results, but they didn’t really like me, I guess. I think the pink bothered them”
“Well, people here don’t mind pink.”
A beat passes, you’re standing there looking at Harcourt questioningly, as if she had uttered out hieroglyphs.
“And the lab could really use someone that knows what they’re doing.”
You nearly blind Harcourt with how bright your expression gets, bombarding her with questions at the offer.
“Seriously? You wouldn’t mind it at all? I have a pink lab coat and I have a bedazzled one with rhinestones too! I didn’t even bring any of my stuff- could my office be next to a window?”
Harcourt laughs- your talkative nature and rambling about knowledge is reminiscent of another teammate. Except, compared to Adrian, you actually know what the hell you’re talking about.
The universe must have been listening in on her thoughts, the man stumbles into the office with a box of files, grinning as he places it on the front table with a thud.
“I got the last of the files! Please don’t tell me you’re going to put me in the back alone again- I haven’t eaten anything all day and,” Adrian’s gaze just barely passes over you to look at Harcourt, before whipping his head right back to you and pausing.
Speechless. It’s the first time Harcourt has ever seen Adrian stunned into silence. His mouth opens and closes, mind running a mile a minute as he figures out what to say. You beat him to it sticking out your hand to him while introducing yourself, pink glossy lips hypnotizing him as you talk.
“Hi!”
“Hey. Hi! Hello.” Adrian’s voice squeaks as he clears his throat, voice changing with every greeting. “Are you new?”
“We just offered her a job here. She’s Economos’s younger sister.”
“Economos? Holy shit he’s like my best friend- we used to call everyday, but now we work together so he doesn’t answer them as often.”
Your mind briefly remembers Economos complaining about him- he must’ve been the guy that pestered him about animal facts.
“Oh! I think I remember- you’re the owl expert.”
He nearly melts at the recognition, spurring on with his usual energy.
“Yeah! And also manta rays, and crows, and owls.” He repeats owls again, brain revving too fast to be able to catch himself, finding himself lost in the scent of your perfume and how bright your teeth are.
“You already said-“
“Different types of owls.”
It was a horrible catch, but you didn’t seem to pay any mind as you clasp your hands together in excitement. “That’s so cool! Did you know that they can turn their heads all the way around because their eyes don’t move around like ours? It’s wild”
He nods in agreement. “Yes. Same. So wild- yes.”
You continue with enthusiasm, walking over to in the direction of his office as he trails behind you mindlessly while you ask him questions. “John never told me your name- he didn’t mention you were so handsome either!”
The tips of Adrian’s ears turn pink at the compliment, entirely affected by it despite it being a casual comment for you. You’re nearly skipping along the floor, stopping suddenly before turning around. “I just realized I have no idea where I’m going.”
Adrian’s quick to veer you towards his cubicle, hand settling on the small of your back as he speedwalks. “Lets go to my desk! Or I can show you around since you might be working here- I can show you the lab here. It’s so sick. No one really uses it besides me and Chris when we’re bored.”
“Oh nice! What do you guys normally do in there?”
“Oh- uh tons of science-y things. You’d love it. Chris isn’t in today but I have enough knowledge to be able to cover all the bases. I’m more of an animal science person though. Totally.”
Ads joins Harcourt at her desk once again, a snicker leaving her lips as she watches your conversation between Adrian go on. “He’s about to pass out.”
Harcourt kisses her teeth, shaking her head in response. “He’s about to imprint on her like a baby duck.”
Your conversation with Adrian helps the time go by fast- you’re so caught up in his reciprocated enthusiasm and the way his curls frame his face and how dorky he looks when he pushes his glasses up in the middle that you don’t process the heavy footsteps nearing you both.
John squints, as if he couldn’t believe the sight before him before shaking his head profusely. “No. Hell no.”
At the sound of his voice, you turn around to greet John with a bright smile, which quickly fades at his accusatory finger stabbing into Adrian. “Fuck. No. You need to stay away from her.”
You furrow your brows, putting a hand on his chest to get him to back up. “Why? We’ve become best friends! He’s kept such good company while I was waiting for you.”
Adrian brightens as if he’s been knighted. “Yeah! You never told me your sister was so cool! And smart! She just showed me all of her notes and the things she works on and it’s like- a whole different language.”
Warmth blooms in your chest at the recognition- nobody had really recognized you for your brain first and foremost besides select professors and a few girls you had met in college. As much as you liked being eye-catching for your style, it’s exciting to see someone be as passionate about your work as you are.
It feels nice.
Really, really nice.
John, however, feels like his world is crumbling as he shakes his head in a panic. “She showed you her notes? Her notes notes?” “Yeah! They had a bunch of sparkles and equations and graphs- I totally couldn’t understand anything but she said she could teach me! And that I could help her in the lab!”
“Absolutely not.”
“John, please. I really like him! He’s so nice and he’s enthusiastic about learning!”
The groan he lets out almost startles you- it’s almost as if his soul left his body.
“You don’t understand, he’s like, a ticking time bomb. He will kill you on accident.”
Adrian’s tone is sharp, cutting through as he stands up.“Hey! I take great offense to that! I’m extremely careful in all my endeavors.”
“You blew up the microwave two days ago.”
Adrian sputters as you look over at him questioningly. “That- that was science!”
Harcourt adds, not looking up from her cubicle. “It was a hot pocket, Adrian.”
It’s hard to bite back a smile, unsure if they were joking or not (they weren’t), the banter between you two only made you want to work at Checkmate more as they argue.
Adrian spins around, pointing a finger at her accusingly as he defends himself. “It said ‘heat thoroughly’ How was I supposed to know that didn’t mean seven minutes on high?”
Ads sighs. “Reading the instructions fully? Common sense?”
Adrian turns back around to you with a pouty look as if knowing you would be the only one to understand him. “It wasn’t my fault! I swear I’m so, so careful.”
You wonder what he’d look like pouting for someone else, and you bite your lip, unable to contain your laugh. Adrian swears he can feel his knees buckle at the sound of it. You swat John’s arm affectionately, “C’mon! What’s the harm? He’s been so nice and he’s so funny! I like him.”
Adrian’s smile is practically taunting John. “She likes me.”
It’s as if you had stabbed him with a million knives, the pained look on his face grows in contempt as he tries to be firm. “No. Nope- no. This is like my nightmare. You-“ he points another finger at Adrian. “Are a hazard.”
“A hazard? I save lives- I have a job! I’m a very capable adult.”
“You set your own sleeve on fire because you forgot you warmed up a mug of tea with the fucking spoon still inside of it.”
You gasp in concern, planting your hand on Adrian’s shoulder. “Oh no! Are you okay?”
“YES! Totally fine- it’s nothing compared to some other stuff I’ve gotten into.”
John scoffs as he snarls at Adrian. “Yeah, at the cost of your stupidity.”
Adrian recoils, the jab hitting a little personally as he looks around at his desk in embarrassment. Your heart tightens. Sure, he might be a little awkward and not all there in the head, but so were you sometimes! At least, that’s what your roommates tell you when you forget your keys for the millionth time. In an instant, your hand moves down to his forearm to ground him. His breathe hitches, staring at your hand and up at you as you stand across from your brother, eyes locked onto his firmly as you quietly contest against him.
John notices. He notices the way you softly look at him, and the way Adrian puffs up his chest in confidence at the sight of it, and he can feel his internal system circuiting.
“No. NO. You do not get to defend this guy- you barely know him! He’s a danger to himself.”
Ads can’t help but agree, crossing her arms as she nods. “He’s right, Adrian.”
“I didn’t know the spoon was metal- it looked neutral!”
Harcourt pinches the bridge of her nose. “The spoon was shiny, Adrian, why would the spoon need to be there in the first place? Who warms up anything with cutlery, metal or not?”
You giggle, thumb rubbing against Adrian’s forearm affectionately as he looks up at you like you hung the stars.
“Of all people, why him? I’d seriously have-“
For the first time in a long time, you interrupt John with a sternness, “John, stop being mean. You’re embarrassing him.”
Like when you were kids, you and John bicker back and forth, spiraling from job safety to Adrian safety, and all Harcourt and Adebayo can do is watch in amusement and Adrian sits silently, watching the retorts bounce between you and your brother. He turns his head over to Harcourt and Ads’s direction , careful to not disturb your argument, quietly mouthing ‘she’s touching me’ with a pumped fist in the air. Adebayo graces him with pursed lips and a thumbs up of encouragement before tuning back into your bickering with John.
Your hand squeezes his forearm again, more for your comfort than his, as you glare at your brother. “You’re being so dramatic! You’ve always been such a diva and I know you’re concerned- but I haven’t found a friend like this since, like-“ your mouth smacks, clicking your tongue at the roof of your mouth, making that noise that John hates. “Like college!”
“Don’t touch him- you’re making it worse!”
Adrian blurts suddenly, “I like it when she touches me.”
Silence fills the room, John looks like he’s about to blow his brains out while Ads and Harcourt watch you three like a nature documentary.
In a panic, Adrian sputters over his words as he continues. “I mean not- not like that- unless you wanted it to mean like that- but I didn’t mean-“
John looks up to the ceiling, dragging a hand down his face as he prays to whatever god might be out there to take him now.
“I just meant that you’re very grounding!”
You look at him quizzically, tilting your head as you look down at him. “Because of the science thing?”
“Yes.” Adrian lies, poorly. “Because of the science thing.”
You don’t seem to mind, in fact, you’re reveling in the way he seems to stutter under your touch, you squeeze his arm again, watching how he freezes up and how his eyes flit nervously between you and John. “I just- I mean like you’re stabilizing. Like how uh- energy?? Like.. what did you say earlier about valent bonds…”
“Valence bonds.”
“Yeah! Like a uh… when you said atoms pair up to make things stable right?
“Are you calling me a perfect ion?”
John’s groan interrupts Adrian before he can respond. “Can you guys quit it? You’re seriously talking about ionic bonds right now?”
You turn around, raising a brow at his interruption. “What’s wrong with ionic bonds?”
“Everything! You really want to end up as this guys babysitter? You could get seriously hurt.”
“Normally, I wouldn’t defend Adrian,” Adebayo sneaks into the conversation, hand lightly touching John’s shoulder to ground him slightly. “But- while Adrian is normally not careful with himself, he’s extremely cautious whenever it comes to others.” Ads looks at Adrian affectionately, “He’s sacrificed himself more times than I can count.”
John closes his eyes, attempting to think for a half-baked retort about Adrian’s impulsiveness, but the image of him throwing a grenade to save him and Chris flashes across his mind, the quickness in which he dove after the White Dragon right as he was about to kill Chris. The shots he would take for Harcourt and Chris when they infiltrated the butterfly farm- and even the stupid “alligators in the sewer system” he thought about instead of flushing his drugs like a normal fucking person.
With a defeated sigh, John relents and sits down at his desk. “Whatever. Fine- just don’t talk flirty with ions in front of me. It makes me want to throw up.”
You nearly jump in glee, throwing your arms around John’s midsection in excitement as he grudgingly pats your back. Adrian seems completely unphased by the glare John gives you behind your back as you rattle on about what your first experiment is going to be to “break in” the lab.
You yank onto Adrian’s sleeve, completely uncaring to the fact that he should be working as you drag him to the lab. “Do you have a favorite color? I can bedazzle you a new lab coat- did you know that rhinestones are heat-resistant to 330 degrees?”
“That’s so sick! You think you could make me a teal one?”
“Duh! It would be so cute! We’d be like Barbie and Ken!" Adrian nearly misses the comment, entranced at the thought of you both blowing up the lab in shiny lab coats.
The conversation dies off in the hallway as you both turn the corner, leaving John exasperated as he rubs his forehead.
Ads snickers, patting his shoulder and shaking him slightly. “I see an new in-law in your future.”