Jarvis/Hermes crack ship
[[Sometimes I just can't with you. And since I want to be lazy and not try to figure how a relationship between a computer and god would pan out I will do this in the Hogwarts verse.]]
big spoon/little spoon: I see Hermes as being a bit of an unconscious cuddler, so I imagine he would be the big spoon. The type to wake up in the middle night and find that he's wrapped himself around his partner.
favorite non-sexual activity: They both have a fairly wicked sense of humour, you do the math.
who uses all the hot water: Hermes because he's a brat.
most trivial thing they fight over: Little domestic things such as who left all their clothes everywhere (Hermes) and who keeps hiding the spare quills (Jarvis because 'they are supposed to go in the drawer you dolt')
who does most of the cleaning: Jarvis. Hermes will dodge chores at every opportunity.
what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: Because they're both half-bloods, yes they do have a muggle television in their house. And that would be Hermes. Jarvis still prefers books to shows, but they are both usually away from home for long periods due to work.
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Neither. They're both skilled enough with magic to fix it themselves.
who steals the blankets: Hermes but Jarvis steals them back.
who leaves their stuff around: Hermes. Jarvis likes to keep everything neat and organised.
who remembers to buy the milk: Jarvis. Hermes just drinks the milk and doesn't tell Jarvis when he's finished the last of it.
who remembers anniversaries: They're both fairly decent at it. Jarvis is the one who remembers to get the gift.
who cooks normally?: Neither should be allowed in a kitchen for an extended amount of time.
how often do they fight?: Oddly enough, despite their radically different personalities, they do not fight (or even bicker) that often. That may simply be because they have demanding jobs and are a long distance relationship in all but name.
what do they do when they’re away from each other?: Magic makes it very easy to send messages back and forth. But they are as comfortable away from each other as they are together.
nicknames for each other?: Jarvis isn't one for coming up with nicknames but Hermes has taken to calling Jarvis Jaybird because it always makes the other wizard roll his eyes.
who is more likely to pay for dinner?: Since neither can cook they split the difference whenever they get the chance to eat together.
what would they get each other for gifts?: They both like unconventional things, so often little knickknacks or souvenirs. Jarvis is always content with a book and Hermes does lean more something both shiney and practical (preferably decorated with a snake).
who kissed who first?: Hermes as a joke.
who made the first move?: Jarvis as a joke.
who remembers things?: Jarvis, but then he has perfect recall so it's hardly a surprise.
who started the relationship?: I think they were set up on a blind date, so outside interference.
who cusses more?: They can both hold their own. But if Jarvis starts cursing you now somethings up.
what would they do if the other one was hurt?: They're both wily and clever. At first they would fret and fuss over the other, but after the initial shock cleared they'd start plotting revenge.
