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A meditation: Internet musicians and fleshbags

People dig music. That is a fact.

People dig the internet. This is also factual.

Fundamentally, there is no problem with these things. Music has obviously been around as long as objects have had the ability to vibrate and create noises and is potentially one of the most honest and moving ways to connect with all these other weird fleshbags humans around us. It's (potentially; this must not be misunderstood and include all the Teenage Dreams and and Lil Wheezys and All About That Basses) a hugely powerful force that can unite and empower, rally and excite, sympathize and soothe, bring up from the darkest places and instill hope where there would never be otherwise. Good, right? Yes? Good? Good.

(Yes, I realize this is colossally optimistic)

And the internet? Before it, try to imagine meeting and befriending and being encouraged by somebody who lives in Anchorage, Alaska sitting in your comfy swirly chair in your comfy Vermont cottage, connected through a community of human beings that also have such embarrassingly long eyelashes that they can't leave their house. Try to imagine a faster way to let people know that you just got into or out of a complicated relationship. Imagine another place where one could safely vend, recommend and review female underclothing to an exclusively male clientele and empower and encourage said male panty-wearers through a safe, supportive community of like-minded individuals! (don't look it up unless you are specifically interested in that kind of thing because it definitely exists and that is not because I am part of said community.

or am I?)

Anyhoos, point being, these things both obviously have their perks to em' individually, but I am of the mindset that they ought not be mixed together because they'll often create music that kind of reflects the internet in a poor way. Allow me to explain.

The internet is big on the "repost" mindset. If something is good or funny or relatable, then I ought to share it with the people that trust me so as to entertain them, right? Basically tumblr. The logic that the musicians on the internet consequently use is that in order to be both relevant and entertaining and also creative I must create my own version of the popular thing! Whoo! Easy as pastry. So what happens is you get a hundred thousand useless covers. That is not to say that covers can't potentially be good, it's just that you get a ton of the same consistently uninteresting thing.

And what compounds the badness of that fact is that the internet is a ginormously romantic place. GO OUT THERE AND DO EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THAT YOU LOVE! IT'S 2014! THE WORLD IS YOUR MOLLUSK! You starting to get my bad reflection deal? Inherently yes, absolutely go out there and do those things that make you happy. BUT, that does not give you even the most microscopic bit of business posting yet another yowling, shrieking, Cro-Magnon cup song cover to youtube and adding to the incessant hum of the internet that drowns out those few quiet little bits of talent. Just cuz ya kin don meen ya shud.

And then there's just crazy, inexplicable stuff! Like, a lot of times people will just ignore the fact that a person absolutely can't sing or that the production is colossally overdone or underdone or that the songwriting is just all over the place or that the lyrics are stupid. Oftentimes the popularity of a musical thing on the internet is based exclusively on the fact that it is awful or it could hang on something even as fickle and unpredictable as the first comment on the video.

Anyways. Clearly this is a very arguable topic and it absolutely isn't true that the internet hasn't birthed some genuinely worthwhile budding musicians. Christina Grimmie will always hold a special place in my heart.

Please don't tell my girlfriend I said that.

I'll give you a bad review if you do. THAT IS WARNING, NOT A THREAT

#music #opinion #fleshbags #internet #inspired by the fact that my girlfriend likes Alex Day and I think he can't sing well at all #turds

30 Minute Plan reaches 50 Reviews on #Amazon

http://amzn.to/zhXzfi

My free zombie short, 30 Minute Plan just received its 50th review on Amazon. I wrote this short as a means of testing out the self-publishing waters back in 2011 and have gotten a full range of reviews. But I’m happy that at least…

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