#fleshmesh

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Sorry there’s more. He is jus so beautifully expressive

At this rate I'll be splitting the bracket up into Thistle and everyone else lol

[pusong-mangga]

26, 10, 7 and 4 for the ask game!

4. Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

they come and go, but the cast of Sanctuary (who've actually been published in a short story of mine before, Ascension) have solidified pretty well in my mind! the core premise is it's a gothic-fantasy road trip adventure where two companionate partners, a scrappy insurrectionist wizard (Zuno) and a former cultist in hiding (Nixie), are torn from their domestic life when an old friend - Marsi, a former slave of the Fairy Queen who victimized them both - shows up at their door claiming to hear the voice of the risen Queen across the horizon.

which should be impossible. the two of them ensured her death. but they're left with no choice when marsi, wanting revenge, blackmails them into helping him dig up her grave. this leads them on a trip across her former domain, finding others who had history with her - painting a fuller picture of who she was - as well as forcing zuno and nixie to confront their own past: nixie used to be her caretaker and zuno was her would-be assassin. they were once vicious enemies and would rather forget it all... but there was something they did to defeat her that still haunts them both.

in terms of fanfic OCs, rn i only have thistle's first obsession outside his family and the canary warden who torments delgal in a smut draft (but has a different role in my postcanon thistle fic). there are also adult!thistle's eventual apprentices but i haven't fleshed them out yet... they're inspired by the lark from yaelokre though!

7. Your favourite ao3 tag.

whenever i see a character tagged as aspec while also in a relationship i get all ^_^

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

first: i've seen an ambiguous familial relationship at least once before so it counts! it isn't always a familial relationship colored by incestuous trauma, though usually that's where i most easily find that dynamic bc of the difficult power dynamics and blurred lines, but it can also be any familial relationship bw people who don't necessarily fit into the standard family model, whether because a) they aren't blood related so there was never any obligation to begin with, only for them to wind up gravitating into a similar-looking dynamic, b) there was obligation forced onto their relationship that then caused it to become familial and/or enmeshed, or c) blood relatives who arguably have the excuse not to gaf about each other ("uncle and nephew" for example) are put in a situation where a distinct attachment or dependence develops, yet still fails to resemble the normative model. i distinguish this from friendship and companionate dynamics by the pull of obligation itself, along with alternating roles of caretaker/dependent where agency, power dynamics, and security are always slightly dubious at best

second: aspec love story. pretty self-explanatory. i'm a hopeless aspec. i love when they try to substitute the love that comes naturally to them with more allonormative expressions, only to realize there's something that feels more true to them in the end.

third: established dynamic. i always go a little nuts whenever characters who don't interact extensively in canon are entangled with one another within a fic's context. it gets my mind stirring with ideas - how did that end up happening? does it make sense within this specific story even if it wouldn't in canon? how does that divergent dynamic color the rest of the story? it doesn't have to be just character dynamics either - it's equally fun when a character is tied more closely to a certain plot device, worldbuilding element or potential character development that canon didn't explore for them. it's like a collage, cutting out disparate pieces and making something cohesive out of it. it's its own form of poetry.

26. What would you describe as OOC?

my conception of it is pretty redundant ig... whatever contradicts established characterization or fails to take into account the context behind certain behavior, especially wrt worldbuilding, story themes, and character background. but then, i generally subscribe to the idea that as long as you can justify it in the text (especially if you have a strong grasp of character voice and motivations) then you can basically get away with anything, and anyway fanfic doesn't have to be perfect so long as it's enjoyable. most of what i see as ooc for thistle, for example, just feels that way because it contradicts my own framework for his character.

that being said, some stuff i see as ooc, notwithstanding fun factor:

thistle being too pacified and growing attached to laios, falin, yaad and co during his recovery without any resentment or rebellious behavior whatsoever (rings some "perfect victim" bells for me; he is an incredibly difficult person, but that doesn't mean he isn't worth caring for as a difficult person, though ik naman that's not the implication people intend when they write him as such. but yeah, dungeon meshi allows for all those flaws to shine; if he isn't at least as much of a nuisance as izutsumi (affectionate) then it feels a little stilted)

thistle being anything less than violently devastated over delgal (he can mask it behind formality but he is critically obsessed with that man - a lot of his canon behavior aligns with symptoms of bpd, including the root cause of the disorder being abandonment and instability during childhood. and yeah, he was rendered desire-less by the lion, but i imagine he'd still have a severe reaction of some sort - not necessarily loud. extreme dissociation, for example)

delgal being considerate towards thistle beyond surface level needs (lol. lmao even. i won't discount that he might try but he should always miss the point. it's all he's shown to do!)

yaad being little more than the Nice Character, which isn't untrue per se, but i did write wtsh thinking there was a lot of untapped dirt there. as far as we know he was raised by delgal alone so he would share as many similarities to him as any child would with their parent; he's catholic-coded so how does that inform his character, especially in a purgatory-like state of undeath?; his name is blatantly jewish in a medieval christian kingdom, what's up with that; he's canonically disabled; he swiftly changed his mind on thistle after everything; he's in delgal's body... i'm just such a shill for characters who seem well-adjusted on the surface but have a lot of fucked up shit going on underneath, and yaad actually does have the potential to have much more going on than what we get to see. also he yells at laios a lot post-dungeon-catatonia when he feels more "alive" and it gave me the impression he had that spirit the whole time, it was just broken. he reads as someone restless and adrift from himself, who still manages to pull himself into something well-actualized out of a sense of duty (abuse survivor flags waving lmao)

yaad and thistle (or really thistle and anyone else) as a dynamic just being straightforwardly caring and automatically "better" than thistle and delgal just because they're Nice... well, this ties into my previous point (especially yaad being in delgal's body) but i don't think it would be that simple when you think about the implications of how each individual character's hangups would clash. but all the potential complications does make it more fun to explore and more satisfying to resolve!

thistle acting overly childish. just because he's shown to age regress/act immature doesn't mean he's interchangeable with any regular child character. personally being an incest survivor who's experienced a lot of the same things as he has has made me both "more mature" and more childish at the same time, in varying intervals, in mixed states... he's agefucked in every direction! that grey area of maturity he occupies is the most interesting aspect of his character! i dislike the interpretation of him as an adult when it comes from a place of dismissal of children ("he can't be a child because he's too layered/complex/competent - you're infantilizing him!" bestie YOU'RE demeaning children as a whole), but otoh him being a kid doesn't mean kids can't have complex, grounded thought processes and interesting relationships in their own right, damn

[steven-myself]

Wilfred Huang in RETRO EROTICO by Baldovino Barani (FACTORY Fanzine)

[pusong-mangga]

I like your fantasy-Jewish transgirl Yasmin (Yaad)

What are your headcanons about her? Post canon headcanons in normal dungeon Meshi? Facts and stuff about her in your fic that aren’t too spoiler-y?

erring on the side of caution when it comes to her heritage since i'm still new to understanding the other abrahamic faiths/jewish culture as a whole, but tbh that works out well enough for me as of now since she's more catholic than anything else during canon proper. generally speaking, though, i like to write her as embodying jewish values in spite of her outward catholicism, since her mother was a stronger influence on her upbringing when it came to her personal ethics than anyone else.

pre-canon to canon: her mama's name was ava. i'm assuming in-universe attitudes to jewish faith and people would mirror irl medieval history, so her marriage to eodio would have been taboo outside the dungeon, but was (made) acceptable within due to its isolated state. delgal just didn't gaf, whatever made his son happy he allowed. eodio let his wife name yaad - and a blatantly non-christian name for a prince of a christian kingdom in what everyone assumed, for a while, was a state close to heaven? audacious, but permitted! she understood there was an ironic sanctuary the dungeon provided for her in that respect, seeing as its elven tyrant isn't exactly the picture of a good upright christian himself. but she also understood the difficulty of the circumstances and had hopes that yaad, true to his name, would serve as a spiritual guide - not just for the kingdom itself, but maybe even for thistle.

however, even with all that in mind, the decision to return to the surface was mutually agreed upon between yaad's parents due to the psychological toll of immortality (plus, both their religions would definitely frown on its existence). after eodio's death, his wife went off with her people and the queen to search for an escape as a last resort. she and the queen left behind writings, books and such for yaad to find and to guide him while he grew up without them.

beyond that sliver of connection to her mother, yasmin had virtually nothing. even her catholicism was mostly her own choice, since neither delgal nor eodio were devotees of their own faith beyond what was necessary to be seen as respectable members of society. in yasmin's case, it was a way to cope with feeling disconnected from her body, from her family, from the world... but she struggles with losing even that connection after learning the demon had been posing as her god. on some level, she knows she's already started to deconstruct her beliefs inside the dungeon, but the loss is still palpable.

post-canon: she actually does try to build a deeper connection to her mother's culture, and... that's about all i feel capable of talking about at that point lol. i have more thoughts about her realizing she's trans through the way she relates to delgal's body - how it simultaneously feels like something meant for her, something she has always been, yet is also something that carries heavy scars because of her upbringing. it takes her a while to realize the euphoria comes from being grown, not from being a man lmao. i've mentioned in a different post that she learns herself better by relating to thistle's own experiences with gender, especially once she figures out it isn't solely an elven experience; in fact, she and thistle mirror one another's experiences so closely because their growth was stunted and then stretched out during critical periods of their lives, and that is something unique to them. being trans is something that bridges their understanding of one another to a fuller extent. i like to imagine they get to a point of feeling comforted by their shared connection rather than burdened by it, especially post-transition, when they both feel like different people and can start over on a cleaner slate.

fairy tale au: fun thing about the golden kingdom citizens in this au (and how i generally write them anyway) is they align pretty well with the fools of chelm from ashkenazi jewish folklore. obviously the citizens themselves aren't jewish - though not all of them are native to the kingdom either! there are citizens descended from people who came from neighboring lands - but given the vague laws of cosmological fuckery i've cooked up for this verse, they still end up falling under that broad "city archetype" by association with yaad/yasmin as their leader, who feels more emotionally connected to her mother than her father. they're just a bunch of sillies near the end of their wits.

also, there are presently no golems in the kingdom - they all followed the "deserters" who joined the princess, and only a few remain in the labyrinth in the present day

i've written more about yasmin in other posts, particularly her being trans and agefucked :> they're in my yaad/yasmin tags. ty for the ask!

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

I’m sorry thistle just has so many amazing expressions

As wirth the previous ask, for the one that contains two faces, would I be right to assume you're submitting Thistle?

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

I always like more angry Elf enby

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Looks like you made a double submission there.

Also, for the one that contains two faces, would I be right to assume you're submitting Thistle?

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Okay that’s it I think

You sure have a big Thistle folder lol