#floatingvampirejesus

[bastardsunlight]

(To D and Adrian) Mirror, mirror, on the wall...who's the sexiest dhampir of them all?

Both D and Adrian shrug and point at the other dhampir. When they realize what they’re doing, Adrian’s mouth curls upward at the corners and he laughs. D exhales once through his nose, which for him is the equivalent of a raucous guffaw. The countenanced carbuncle supplies the actual sound.

[bastardsunlight]

Darcy, flipping her wrist so that the long list in her hand unfolds, starting from the top,

"Tepes, Adrian - **** Great. Veidt, Adrian - ** Could be better. You wear a mumu to hide them in the comics and in the endgame of the movie, you, like, have to mold them onto your armor. People with real tiddies don't have to mold them. Aerith- **** Great. Very cute. No other comments. Alba Meita- **** Great. I don't know anything about this person except those sculpted tiddies out here showing through consistently. Wesker- *** Good. They're there and he's scary. Next! Al Elric - * Terrible. Literally a child in a metal suit. No physical assets to speak of, much less tiddies, and I wouldn't even if they were there. Alucard - ** Could be better. This man doesn't need tiddies, have you seen the way he bites his gun and wears suits? He's 6'5" who needs boobs when you're tall enough to climb like a tree. Anduin - ** Could be better. The existence of tiddies on this Hot Version of Shrek's Prince Charming is questionable, but he is a Hot Version of Shrek's Prince Charming, so we can overlook that. Aoba- * Terrible. No tiddies. May also be a child? its hard to tell with the anime style. Archie - I'm not rating a Riverdale character and you can't make me. Avad- **** Great. I don't have anything here, they're there."

The dhampir pulls some of his flaxen hair over one shoulder and smiles almost benevolently, though there is a glint of impish mischief in his honey gold eyes.

Veidt shrugs the shoulders of his several-thousand-dollar suit; he can't be bothered with chest size when he is pulling so many strings all at once.

Aerith smiles wide and pushes her elbows toward her belly button, forcing her breasts—they aren’t exactly HUGE, but they’re pert and a good handful apiece—upward. She winks.

Alba snorts a rasping laugh through his nose, his eyes obscured by the red of his shades. One sculpted brow arches and his pretty lips pull into a smile that reiterates his moniker, the Devil of Daybreak.

The assessment seems to satisfy Management™ though he is also a little surprised—if such a humanoid entity can feel surprise—at the audacity. He grunts a sort of “hm” sound, one corner of thin lips curling imperceptibly upward. She will live. For now.

Alphonse bangs the chest plate of what is now his body and it makes a sort of hollow sound. “I can’t help it,” he admits, shrugging spiked pauldrons, strangely expressive for a suit of armor.

The sound that comes from the no-life King is not unlike a purr, his smile Cheshire and almost predictably unreadable. Wearing a suit, as per his master’s instructions, has its drawbacks, and this is one of them. Ah, well, c’est la vie. "For now."

Anduin Wrynn blushes and feels his sky blue eyes darting self-consciously down to his chest, which is, of course, clad in ornate armor, a symbol of his rank and of the Grand Alliance herself. He doesn’t know what to say in response, chewing his lower lip instead and then, remembering that it’s not exactly a kingly gesture, stops and straightens. “It matters less what is on my chest than what is inside it, Lady.”

“I’m not a kid,” Aoba grunts, “now didja need something or…?” He gestures around Hum-Drum Junk shop at all the miscellany surrounding them. He's supposed to be the "face" of the shop, but what kind of face does someone put on actual, literal, honest-to-god junk?

Archie’s grin is boyish and handsome as he laughs once through his nose and shakes his head. His chest is, in a word, ample, but he also respects the choice. It isn’t like the town of Riverdale enjoys a terrific reputation.

The traditions of the Carja dictate the Sun-King’s attire and he is accustomed to being somewhat less than clothed on a regular basis. Today, this woman—she might be Oseram, by her clothing; certainly, she is not Nora—has caught him fresh out of a bath and the water still runs in rivulets off his sun-kissed flesh, sparkling in the light. He flushes deeply and clears his throat. “That is… very generous."

tiddy ratings

[bastardsunlight]

How do you do it, Adrian? Isn’t it hard to have the weight of your mother’s wishes and father’s legacy hanging over your head?

“I don’t consider my mother’s wishes a burden; they balance out father’s dark intentions and history rather well, in fact.” He does not seem wholly convinced of this, but it’s best to put forth a calm face and serene demeanor to a stranger. 

[bastardsunlight]

Azriel 🍹 @ floating vampire jesus

“Why do I get the feeling the Belmont put you up to this?” Skeptical as he is, it has been a bit since Alucard has drunk with anyone. The flavor is mild, sweet, and the alcohol is almost undetectable. “Oh,” he grunts, “that is... dangerous.”

Send my muse a drink (the more the merrier)

[bastardsunlight]

Adrian, why are you so beautiful?

“My mother, most likely.” The dhampir’s golden eyes sparkle with mischief. He has long since abandoned the pretense of not knowing the extent of his looks. It strikes him as false humility.