All the Shows I Saw at FL State Thespian Festivals During High School [and subsequent spoilers]
2013
Blood Relations: Murder story about what’s-her-name, the axe murder girl who- Lizzy Borden. Supposedly showing her point of view, or something, or there was someone following in her footsteps, idk. The first part of the play came before the murders, and then they jumped back, but I think all the actors switched around to play different people? At the end there was a “scary” part where the lights went out and she would appear at different points on the stage, bloody and threatening the audience with an axe. A bunch of people screamed, but it seemed really slow paced to me.
The Children’s Hour: Saw it the same year as Blood Relations, at least this one had a plot that could be followed. A pair of women run a sort of school together, but they make a bratty girl mad at them, so she starts spreading rumors that she saw them kissing. The town is very much against homosexuality, so they lose their jobs, think about leaving town, but there’s nowhere they could go where they couldn’t be famous. At the end, they have an argument where one of them wonders if maybe they really are lesbians, but the other woman won’t hear it. The first woman goes into the other room and you hear a gunshot, implying that she killed herself. For how depressing it is, I don’t remember anything especially bad about it.
2014
Grimm’s Fairytales: An original script written by the school performing it, perhaps collaboratively. Some friends of mine saw the first show and walked out during intermission, saying it was awful. Maybe it was, but I found it hilarious anyway. They probably only got to go to State because their set was massive and detailed, with staircases designed for an actual giant, and a huge storybook in the background. But the show was ridiculous, like a kids’ version of Into the Woods. The girl sitting next to me had stuff thrown at her for the duration of the show- not intentionally, she just happened to be in the pinpoint spot where everything got tossed, from corn seed to plastic bread. There was one point where the show converted entirely to a shadow puppet show, which I always joked about saying “This show was so bad, even the puppets didn’t want to show their faces.”
Annie Get Your Gun: Let me just say, I hate this show. Mostly because of the absolutely unbelievable romance (the guy is an asshole and she still falls for him), but that’s the main plot of the story. However, it was pretty well done... also, the lead was the tiniest, cutest ginger girl in the entire world, andmywholeschoolfellinlovewithherandwecreatedachartforallthepeoplewewouldtotallydatethatyearandshewasconnectedtoeveryoneandwe’refaceookfriendsnoweventhoughwe’veneverspokeninpersonbutIprobablynevercouldbecauseI’mtooinaweofhermajesty.
2015
Anything Goes: This show was like Annie Get Your Gun, but more boring and without the amazing lead. I spent that whole show about 200 feet in the air at the absolute highest point in the balconies wishing I wasn’t there (did I mention I hate heights).
I didn’t see a second show because I was in Moon Over Buffalo, which might I say, ahem, was the best show ever to be seen during my career at that festival and one of the judges was an idiot who didn’t know what a farce was.
So, it was my first time to the Florida State Thespian Festival in my Sophomore year, where all the best high school actors come to perform. We were in the hotel before the opening/closing ceremonies, I forget which, we’d all gotten dressed, and we were watching the What Is This scene from Game Grumps. It was me, Collin, Michael, and [Big Boobly Butts] (who was referenced on an episode of Nugget Tree in Spooky’s House of Jumpscares). It was about time to go, so we all got up to leave the hotel room.
It was either Michael or [Big Boobly Butts] (side note: Big Boobly Butts does not have big boobly butts) who got to the door first, probably Michael. He grabbed the handle, turned it, and- Pulled it. Off. The. Door.
We all stared at it for a moment, and then burst into the What Is This monologue.
“WHAT IS THIS?”
“WHAT IS MY LIFE?”
“NO! YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND!”
“YOU GOTTA WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SAY ‘What am I willing to put up with today? NOT FUCKING THIS!”
So we literally cannot leave. Some other teachers and students from our school come to the door and we tell them what’s happened, so they go to the front desk and get someone to come fix it. The guy gets there and he knocks on the door.
Fucking. Knocks.
We say “We can’t open it!”
He says, “Let me in.”
“We can’t! That’s why you’re here!”
“...What?”
So Michael gets the idea to slip his key card under the door. “I’m gonna slip my key under the door so you can get in!”
He does so. After a moment of silence we hear “I don’t want that.”
After awhile he finally gets in and fixes the door, letting us go free to our ceremony.
That series of events was funnier than the scene we took to State.
THESPIAN STATE FESTIVAL WAS AMAZING I honestly can't begin to talk about how happy it made me, and how much I will miss it, and every single thespian I met and didn't get to meet. Every performance was perfect. Everything was perfect. I'll miss it more than I can fathom. I just want to go back.
