When they all gather for unnecessary corporate team meetings Soap always prefers to stand instead of getting antsy sitting for long periods of time so he’s the furthest way from the table. However his voice has always been loud, so no one’s complaint about the arrangement.
Price always opts to stand next to the man, and usually excuses himself several times because of the fits of hacking cough that he would usually break out into. But no one really calls him out on it, as they’ve seen the amount of cigars that man can down in a single sitting, not to mention on bad days.
Except one day Price isn’t there, and Ghost finds himself standing next to Soap, both leaning against the wall in the farthest corner. And he realises Price had never coughed once, he’d been stifling his laughter because Johnny said the most out-of-box shit under his breath, and only the person next to him could hear it.
Like the first time it caught him off guard:
Commander: Okay. Where did it all go wrong?
Soap: The moment ye we’e born.
—-
*randomly during the meeting when someone throws trash on the table*
Soap: I am the Lorax, Ah speak for the trees. Litter again, I’ll break your fucking knees.
—-
*After a mission that went sideways due to the new recruits fucking up several times*
Soap *staring at the recruits* : If yer brain was filled with dynamite, there still wouldn’t be enough to blow yer hat off.
—-
*Graves walking in to give a presentation*
Soap: What doesn’t kill ya, disappoints me.
And lastly, yesterdays meeting where Ghost almost choked on his coffee:
General: Get your faces out of my sight.
Soap: Thank god, Ah dunno how much longer ah could’ve stared at God’s ugliest creation. Honestly if I had yer face, would’ve sued my parents I tell ya.
The best part is, Soap is equally oblivious that Ghost can hear him. And Ghost is in no rush to change that.