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DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT GIVING CREDIT Writer I Batfam | platonic relationships are underrated | SoapGhost | Sanders Sides | Percy Jackson | Teen Wolf | Helluva boss l Sterek | Merlin | Merthur | if anything’s fluff, fictional or Angsty you know I’ll write it

[confused-wanderer]

I *NEED* more of Red Hood’s relationship with modern technology

Steph: what’s your guys’ screen time?

Duke: oof like.. six hours

Jason: .. what

Dick: ha.. yeah like.. four on good days.. eight to ten others

Jason: TF DO YOU DO?!

Dick: ?? Idk scrolling? Whats yours

Jason: Like forty minutes!!

Steph: HOW THE FUCK

Jason: I USE IT TO CALL AND TEXT WHAT DO YOU GUYS USE IT FOR??

Bruce: .. like 58 hours

Jason: WHAT.

Tim: .. about the same

Jason: I’m putting you guys’ on a timer

Dick: Is- is no one questioning how the fuck Bruce and Tim are getting 58 hours?? A DAY ONLY HAS 24 HOURS!

Bruce:

Tim:

Tim: maybe yours does.

—

Duke *handing Jason something to heat up*

Steph: oh uh- right you were probably still offline when this was made..here let me show you how to use the microwave oven. You just have to-

Jason: yeah I know how to use it. it’s- of course I know how! I lived here my whole life pre-the whole three days of Christ thing. Why would you think I didn’t know how? I grew up with it.

Dick: ..I didn’t.

Jason:

Jason *realizing people often mistake him for being Dick’s age which is why he furiously starts learning to make it stop*

—

Bonus: Pre- finding out Red Hood was Jason Todd

Alfred: There have been multiple signs of the Red Hood.. but he is impossible to track down

Batman: How am I going to find him Alfred? He is clearly a master of evasion!

(Meanwhile)

Goon *who’s been following Red Hood underground to an old location that no one’s used in years, getting turned around again since Red Hood injured his hands and can’t type but still REFUSES to use Siri to get directions*: .. you have no idea where you’re going do you?

*A newly resurrected Red Hood who isn’t upto date with modern tech and rejects even the potentially helpful stuff at first - like the new ways people dealt in crime and thus resorted to using the old crime alley ways of communication which is now considered ANCIENT and unused. Only certain crime alley kids and people knew the best undetected routes, plus since most are forgotten now there’s a reason that no one can figure it out so much about how Jason operated*: .. Well I know it’s near water

Goon *staring at the underground water that’s basically all but surrounding them on all sides*

Goon: .. I guess we’re getting close then

[confused-wanderer]

Jason gets more than he bargained for when he ‘wins’ against Dick.

The younger siblings love Jason. Love how he’s ready for everything, has their backs against Bruce and doesn’t scold them for going against what’s expected of them as long as they have a good reason and a plan to back it up.

Not like Dick wouldn’t do the same but he’s the first Robin, and due to his reputation as the ‘Golden boy who set the standard’ - everyone’s wary of how far Dick’s willing to step his toes in, especially at times where he switches between being the instigator and the mother hen so quick it gives everyone whiplash, and always leaves them guessing whose side he’s on.

So Jason smirks everytime they start coming to him for advice or for a place to crash. There’s this pride that fills his chest when everyone’s eyes light up when he enters the room, the quiet fondness when one of them hides in HIS safehouse, or falls asleep in his bed. He’s grinning ear to ear when he watches Tim take a few steps towards Dick, before pausing, turning around and heading for Jason. The victorious feeling in his chest is glorious as he’s glad to be stealing away the spotlight from Dick, sure the first Robin’s probably seething with rage and feeling inferior at them going to someone else.

Meanwhile Dick I-was-an-only-child Grayson is just like “finally I can breathe without fear of setting a bad example AND I get a break from these gremlins I love so much. Fuck yeah let’s go make some bad choices again”

[confused-wanderer]

Bruce doesn’t pull the “one day you’ll regret this when I’m dead!” Card. You know who does? Alfred.

Tell him you’re too busy with Wayne and vigilante duties to come home for the holidays? That’s okay, it won’t be long before the invitations stop being sent out. Alfred’s memory is suddenly failing him as he muses out loud to Jason over the phone. How tall was Jason the last time he showed up at the manor? Would Alfred even recognize him because it’s been so long? (As if Alfred doesn’t also keep tabs on everyone’s activities. Also Jason stopped by last month)

Bruce ignoring his advice? Okay, well there’ll be no one left to talk to if Alfred’s gone. No more suits being pressed without asking to, no more asking Bruce if he wants his childhood favorite soup after a hard day, because there’ll be no one left to remember how to make it.

All the batkids fighting? Fine then, since no one ever respected his wishes in the first place he supposes he shouldn’t bother inviting them to his funeral since they’ll all be too busy being petty to come together for him. Why would they bother anyways, he was just a butler.

Even better if it works on everyone with no exceptions, because it never fails to catch everyone off guard every single time.

—————————————————————————

Jason: Damn Damian they got you too?

Damian *currently eating his dinner quietly while it’s hot instead of going straight to the batcave and forgetting the food exists*: Pennyworth said that he had a progressive uncurable condition that would terminate in his death

Jason:

Tim: do-did you ask what the condition is?

Damian: He said he didn’t wish to bother me with such trifling details.. as it was already too late for him

Tim:

Jason:

(Some time later)

Bruce: Hey Alfred.. I’m sorry to bother you during you break. I just saw Jason Tim and Damian quietly eating dinner together. They said I should check in on you because something was wrong.. what is it? I can have the world’s best doctors fly down to treat your condition.

Alfred: You needn’t bother.

Bruce: I’m not leaving you! Tell me what it is and we’ll work through it together!

Alfred *sighs*: Okay. I’ll tell you.. only if you promise to go to the event I told you to attend tonight. Shut the door behind you please.

Bruce *Nodding gravely, worried as he slowly closes the door*

Bruce:

Alfred:

Alfred *casually sipping tea in the corner and doing the crossword without looking up*: The condition is existing.

[confused-wanderer]

The only thought in my head after watching the latest episode of TADC - this is my contribution to the fandom

[confused-wanderer]

How teams-ups went when Jason was Robin

Batman*hands Jason empty bottles from a crime scene before leaving to talk to Gordon* : here these are trash

Robin!Jason:

Nightwing *snickering*: dude he just made you a trash can. I wonder why..

Robin!Jason: Nah..dude. I’m pretty good! Everything’s awesome! He handed me those bottles for a reason. He chose to give it to me instead of you. He trusts me. And besides *glances at bottles* we can always make the best out of waste.

Nightwing:

Nightwing: is that the motto of your life?

Robin!Jason *one breath away from making a shank*: I will shatter you like GLASS

[confused-wanderer]

Bruce and Alfred both being pleasantly surprised when their children’s friends put on old music in the Batmobile or at the mansion. Bruce is secretly happy and impressed that they even know these songs, not to mention that they have good taste - it earns them a few points in his book. Alfred gives his approval at how musically diverse and educated they are, happy that his taste in classics rubbed off on the batkids and their friends.

Meanwhile the real reason any of the young heroes know them is because of all the times said songs have been used in the most crack memes that they all have quoted daily. Everyone knows it. No one says a word. Every last one of them has a few songs they genuinely can’t listen to without losing their shit. Tim almost deletes the internet when someone plays that one Rick Astley song. They’ve placed bets on who’ll crack first in front of Batman or Alfred.

Alfred *hearing the music pause in the batcave*: Perhaps I should look into asking Master Bruce to pay for the commercial removals for the children’s friends..

Bart *singing alone to the ad he SPECIFICALLY put on*: Nothing beats a Jet2holiday-

Jason *hands squeezing the armrest so hard the metal’s starting to crack*: Is it murder if I punt his ass in the Lazarus Pit right after? Is it? Is it really?

[confused-wanderer]

Batman mentally bracing himself for how bad he’s going to be hurting after the battle based on how the justice league is taking hits from the villains.

Green lantern barely holding his own? = Not a scratch, frankly Batman’s insulted green lanterns even on the scale. If Green Lantern’s taking hits, that’s his problem not Bruce’s.

Flash pausing for a fraction of a second?= okay that’s going to hurt for weeks after the battle.

Clark stumbling back? = Call Alfred.

Diana approving of their enemy?= Call funeral home.

[confused-wanderer]

Nightwing: I wish I was an only child again..

Red Hood: and I wish I was dead again..

Nightwing *looks at him*

Red Hood *preparing to be scolded*

Nightwing:

Red hood:

Nightwing:

Nightwing *quietly*: damn never mind forgot I had more siblings *walks away*

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Was he- were you actually considering killing me-

[confused-wanderer]

Bruce Wayne’s dad lore but it’s Dick Grayson actually.

Nobody actually does look into Dick’s past too hard because they’ve heard way too many stories and after a point just stopped asking around because each one was more impressive and unbelievable than the last. However, because of this seemingly impenetrable aura of just being Robin or Nightwing, nobody really realises the stories from his normal mundane “human” activities as Dick Grayson are equally as incredulous, if not more.

*Jason and Dick at a stakeout alone in the car*

Jason: Ha! I’ve been to prison before!

Dick: Same.

Jason: .. Dickie you got arrested? Did you finally lose your shit??

Dick: I was nine.

Jason:

[confused-wanderer]

Hear me out: Bruce immediately thinks Damian is Dick’s when Talia drops him off.

All of Bruce’s son’s, adopted though they may be, bear a strong resemblance to Bruce. Something that Dick also exhibits. Bruce’s playboy charm, his flirtatious flings: Also something Dick embodies. Dick who turns up the charm and really leans into the persona when he wants to piss Bruce off. Even if it includes disregard for the protocols and rules Bruce has in place to ward off anything that could be traced to their vigilante identities.

You can’t tell me he doesn’t take one look at Damian and realise that perhaps this was the product of his last major argument with Dick a a while ago. His physical features might have differed a bit from Dick himself, however Dick’s family was Roma, so Bruce doesn’t think much of it . Damian held the same murderous instincts, the same acrobatic ease, and tiny figure reminiscent of Dick’s childhood days. When Talia tells Bruce Damian’s his son, Bruce takes one look at this murder hungry gremlin and connects the dots : .. he’s my son’s son?

- over text -

Bruce: Dick. We have talked about this. Safety always comes first. Please come to the Manor by tonight. Alfred and I will be waiting.

Dick: ?

*many many hours after not receiving a reply and one deduction later*

Dick: So he’s yours.

Bruce: ?

Dick: We’ve talked about this B. Safety always comes first. Please come to the Manor by tonight. Alfred and I will be waiting.

[confused-wanderer]

Hii, this is my first request to you 😟

But I wanted to ask if you have any Damian Wayne angst ao3 recs…?

I stumbled upon a few of ur posts. And I fell in LOVE with the chronically ill Damian Wayne idea and the one where he’s jealous of the fond nicknames Dick gives the other siblings. (You probably don’t remember them-)

I hold them dear to my heart and might write something based off those ideas… 😔✋

Anyway, you can ignore this if you wanna. Have a good one 💗

Hey! Oh my gosh I’m glad you enjoyed my posts! Unfortunately, I don’t really remember any fics like that off the top of my head, but if anyone else knows please mention them down below. I’d love to read if you ever decide to write, and I hope you have a good day!

[confused-wanderer]

Without further adieu, it is my pleasure to present to you:

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Robin (DCU), Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne's Pets, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Harvey Dent, Harley Quinn, Superman, Clark Kent, Nightwing, Red Hood, Tim Drake, Red Robin - Character, Wonder Woman - Character Additional Tags: Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), OC in Gotham, Gotham Vlog AU Summary: Life took a turn for the stranger when she found herself moving into Gotham. Done with life and embracing the chaotic mess that it's left her, taking to vlogging seemed like a fun hobby to pass the time. Until it became a full-blown documentary starring rock bottom and uninvited guests who absolutely refuse to use the front door.

===========================================================

So, I've been working on a little AU series thing of my own for a while now. It's set in Gotham and follows my OC as she explores Gotham and it's..eccentricities. More chapters will be coming out soon! 

VLOG PROLOGUE

*static crackling*

Okay..I got this..almost-NO DON’T FUCKING FALL YOU PIECE OF SHI- ah okay, its finally working. Uhh…hello there. Man I hope this thing’s actually recording or else I’m gonna look like I belong in a psych ward. Heh.. not that I don’t, but after all the shit I’ve pulled? I’d be damned if I get caught for this of all things.  Anyways, it’s like 9 pm here. I was just about done with loading all my boxes into the new place when I saw this old thing. It was still wrapped up, and frankly I don’t even remember ever getting this, but you know what might as well..not like I’m saving it for any special occasion. I guess I was hoping to use it for vlogs and stuff, kinda those cute behind the scenes you see online for on and off the job. Well, good news! You will be getting some exclusive behind the scenes footage, in the form of my life at rock bottom as I scramble to maintain the appearance of a functioning member of society, while literally everything about me screams otherwise! So..to start things off..I should really give you a name.. Because of course I need to call you something because now we’re buddies and it feels relatively human and fun if I pretend that I’m actually talking to a living being so I can convince myself I’m not that insane.. yet. Let’s see.. vlogging..video recorder..hmm..how does V sound?

Life is life-ing. It’s nothing personal, never is, it’s just the way the world works. And you know what? This time, I’m going to let it do its own thing. I’m tired of always trying to fight the current, let’s see where it takes us. I’m not optimistic about the future. To be honest, I don’t really see a future. Nothing is okay. Nothing is okay.. And that’s okay. What is it they say? This too shall pass. Heh..

…But what if it takes everything with it?

*silence*

*clearing of throat*

ANYWAYS- WOW that became melancholic. But we do not do that. No sir, in this household we REPRESS and GASLIGHT. Moving on, what was I talking about? Oh right! Moving in! I didn’t really have that much stuff anyways, so thankfully it didn’t take me too long.This one lady, aunty as she insists I call her, did start talking to me though. Her name’s Sakshi, apparently she lives right above me and I’m now having dinner at her place tomorrow. [After I showed proof that I was not stealing anything and all those boxes were mine. She’s a lot less intimidating when she isn’t taking aim at your head with a bat-shaped.. I want to say.. boomerang(?)].

I’ve also heard rumours about… what is it the locals call ‘em? The ‘bats?’ They say it’s only a matter of time before I finally see them. Most don't really believe me when I say I haven’t. I’m guessing it’s like a local tradition or folklore. They’re definitely fucking with the newbie right?

*lights flicker*

Whoa what the heck was all th- yeesh that’s bright. I thought I was seeing the staircase to heaven for a second, before I realised there was no way I’d be seeing that. A firepole down to Hell? Now that seems more like it. What’s this blinding light doing on that roof across town? And why’s it pointed at the sky? Is this some nightly thing that happens? Huh..wait.. that kinda looks like a *pause* I-is that a fucking bat? WHY is this town so obsessed with bats? Is bats the Gotham equivalent of furries? Honestly, with this town’s history, I wouldn’t be too surprised. But then again..that raises so many questions.

*sounds of smacking, cardboard rustling*

Man.. there’s still barely any room in here..I should probably start going to bed before it’s dawn again. There’s nothing to do. It..it feels kinda weird, but I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing. Nothing to achieve, which means nothing to disappoint. I mean *laugh* me? But you know V.. it never really bothered me. Rock bottom feels like a checkpoint. It’s the only place I can fucking decorate because I know I’m going to end up back there sooner or later - it’s always just a matter of time. It’s comforting.. being somewhere familiar. And yes, I know that’s not a good mentality to have, that I should keep moving and getting back up on my feet and not accept defeat, blah blah blah. You know what V?  Why is being there, or even just being okay with being there such a bad thing anyway?

What do I have to lose? Fuck it, I say we ball.

[confused-wanderer]

Alfred runs a front.

You know those posts where people accidentally stumble upon fronts for money laundering operations? And how the people just roll with it and go “fuck yeah this is a pizza store, what can we get you?” and then proceed to deliver the best pizza you’ve ever had?

That, but with the batcave. Logically, it’s impossible to get near it. There’s no way anyone strategic or analytic can trace back the batfam to find an entrance to it. But somehow this group of college kids stumble upon it on accident after getting horribly lost on their way for a 3 am snack run. They’re all sleep-deprived and so used to Gotham’s eccentricities that they honestly don’t even get alarmed when Google maps tells them to drive through a wall, even less so when it fucking WORKS.

The butler had been bored for the last couple of days, and since everyone was off on missions, the silence was adding to Alfred’s anxiety about his children. So when he sees these group of confused kids yelling into the darkness if this was bar, he says “screw it”. In the blink of an eye, there’s a decoy close to but not quite near the batcave, where Alfred turns the room into a cosy little hangout spot.

It becomes a phenomenon only for the true Gotham locals. And Gotham is protective of its own. Alfred doesn’t have to worry about telling anyone to keep it a secret, it’s now become a sort of initiation/tradition for new Gothamites when the locals think they’ve earned it. Some days Alfred keeps it well hidden when he doesn’t want to entertain, others he allows it to be found, fills up his bartending stall and waits for the chaos. People pour in, and it’s a nice cozy place just to be. Alfred’s a mean bartender, he whips up drinks like never before. Also gives advice like never before.

Some days it’s a bar, and you go there with your closest friends and as long as you clean up after yourselves and aren’t being disruptive, nobody cares. Others the menu includes tea, and it’s the time for bringing games to play with loved ones. Everyone is friendly and plays nice, because Alfred will not hesitate to pull out a shotgun for anyone who things otherwise.

People sometimes spot the bats or the justice league hovering around the location and figure it’s an exclusive occasion, and honestly a billionaire having a private bar for superheroes is not that weird at all so people roll with it.

Alfred exchanges information with others, builds his channel of gossip. He hears about the newer, local threats that emerge. The political and economic issues grieving Gotham’s citizens, and makes a mental note to tell the others. He hears Tim and Stephanie were munching on burgers last night, he guesses all their praise about his waffles were merely lies. But he also knows how Cheryl from the retirement home plays a mean BINGO, and can’t lose even if she tried. Speaking of which, he needs to hold another tournament soon not because Alfred was petty or competitive.. he was merely.. competent.

Nobody from the batfam knows about this. It’s Alfred’s favorite past time, and no one from the batfam is allowed within TWENTY feet of it.

The man’s a proper Englishman. Let him have his tea.

[gjdraws]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

THE LAST FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

[iguanodonwildman]

Reminder that ao3 does not have an app. Any apps you see are third party and are making money off of the writers without their consent. They’re also probably harvesting your data. Do not support this garbage.

[fractalspaces]

Louder so people don't quick-scroll:

THIRD-PARTY APP. PROFITS OFF WRITERS, HARVESTS DATA. DO NOT DOWNLOAD.

[zorped]

SIGNAL BOOST

[ofishal-fish-posts]

Once again. Ao3 doesn't have an app. If you see an Ao3 app, it's not official and will probably steal your data. Don't download it, use the web version. It functions just fine on mobile.

[anonymousfolk]

Radom

Every person who reblogs this

will get

a

Random question in their

ask box

[hopeful-recoveryy]

I love you everyone in red states right now.

I love you everyone who has family that is/will celebrate a Trump victory.

I love you everyone surrounded by loved ones actively voting against your rights.

If you voted for Kamala, you did everything you could and you should be proud.

All of your frustration and anger is justified, understandable, and fair.

I’m sending you all love and peace.

[confused-wanderer]

The more I think and speak about today, the worse I realise the situation is. I hope you’re all safe, and I implore you to keep taking one step after another. Today, we are still alive. We may be losing the country, but we cannot lose its people. US’s skeleton might be rattled, perhaps broken in the upcoming times, but we cannot afford to lose its heart. Never again.

I am sorry. I am so sorry, and I hope you stay safe. Cry, scream, celebrate, cope with this however you feel right. But please. Keep learning, keep listening and keep voicing. Stay safe everyone.

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[coffee-or-hot-cocoa]

i need all the help i can get for finals

[finnglas]

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

[eleanorreadsandwritesromantasy]

At this point literally anything helps.

[mango-mingi]

For my upcoming mid terms, semi finals and finals. Please.

[kimlockholmes]

Eh fuck it let’s do this not like i’m gonna lose anything anyways

[confused-wanderer]

Fuck it we ball

[confused-wanderer]

This?? Worked??? I swear I was stressing out about a major decision and was out of options. Today, I went from having 0 to 3 AWESOME ones to choose from😭😭 REBLOG MAN THIS WORKS