I'm gonna write a whole paragraph about my experience with my wolfkin but without focusing on kind of the kin.
I've never seen a discussion about that it's difficult to see your true self again. But what does it means exactly?
I was born as a wolf pup, I remember that I've identified as animal. The world was different for me when I was a kid, I experienced my animality different than today. I was a wolf on spiritual and biological level back then, I believed that my DNA have to contain some wolf DNA. Even if I looked into the mirror, I wouldn't call myself anything other than a wolf. I believed in many things, my spiritual side of identity was kinda a coping mechanism to religious christian trauma, but it isn't a topic of it. I would like to more focus on topic, how I STRONGLY felt my identity, how I could fight for it that I'm a wolf.
I had a pack of friends and we used to roleplay as our wolf ocs on messenger, and we called ourselves a wolf pack. Everyone believed that they were a wolf somehow, but one day everything changed, one of the friend group started a discussion that we're stupid for acting like that and it's obvious that we're human.
Years passed and I left the idea of being a wolf because it was impossible, the biology and physical world says otherwise. My identity were from that point a some kind of "joke".
But when I've heard about therians for the first time in my life, I got super interested into it. At first I was an ally, later I've questioned being a wolf again, and at the end I kinsidered my identity.
After a few years of identifying as human due to environmental pressure (because "everyone" must be a human right?). It was a really difficult to feel my true self again. Because of that I've questioned otherhearted first instead of therian. And then I've questioned an otherlink because I felt so weird, I felt like my identity was chosen while it wasn't at all.
So at first months of returning to me being myself, I felt unsure, I still called myself human for a while. Every time when I wanted to just be a wolf, I felt guilty because "but I'm still only a human.....". This feeling was over a year or maybe two.
And now? I feel so free when I learned to just reject this feeling. No i'm not human, I've never was. I just wanted to fit in, I wanted to feel accepted by saying that either I'm a human. It isn't worth it. I'm starting to referring to myself as a wolf without feeling guilty or cringe. Just like the old days. I do not feel like impostor anymore. It was a really long journey for me to being able to see my fangs again.
So, don't call yourself human because everyone around you is a human. It's your identity ofc, you can be half human and half animal. But if you're truely ever felt in your life your animality, DON'T EVER THINK about calling yourself a human only because other people perceive you like this. IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
It's 100% worth to be yourself in YOUR eyes. YOU'RE NOT AN IMPOSTOR.
