Nov 2, 2016
imsg - open
sage: get me the fuck outta here
sage: im wearing these ugly ass bunny ears and i feel stupid
sage: kms
seen from Australia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Japan
seen from China
seen from Algeria
seen from Netherlands
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Philippines
seen from Italy
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Malta
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Argentina
imsg - open
sage: get me the fuck outta here
sage: im wearing these ugly ass bunny ears and i feel stupid
sage: kms
❛ don’t get me wrong, i’m not regularly this petty about stuff like this — but for today it’s an exception. listen, so i’m not a god when it comes to parking cars, but this one’s a show stopper. no lie, this parking is looking so good i’d probably pass 3 driving tests alone just by this one parking job. whatever. so i’m doing perfectly and i’m about to pull in and this annoying lady pulls right in where i’m about to go. excuse me? the way she pulled in makes me wish her father pulled out. don’t try me again or i’ll key your car, maam.
“ how in the world do mimosas taste so heavenly at all hours of the day ? i swear, the one i’ve got right now is just as good, if not better, than the one i had for brunch. all i need now is a bubble bath and some frank sinatra playing & i’ll have the most relaxin’ evening on this planet. ”
“ so, i had the pleasure of going through one of the creepiest haunted houses in NYC the other night. like, i’m 100% sure i’m scared for life. which is bad enough without my MOM having filmed it and is considering putting it on her show next week. like, thanks mom. i’m sure this whole country would love to see Ellen’s daughter piss herself while trying to get away from a killer leprechaun. geez. i guess this is your warning -- DO NOT to watch The Ellen DeGeneres show next week if you like me as a person ... even JUST a smidge. ”