#fluterino

[marchingfluterino]

youve heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for

[marchingfluterino]

ive never actually heard the original song careless whisper, but now im going to bc i wanna learn it on my flute just to fuck w people at band

[marchingfluterino]

my dinkles and music were set up very aesthetically????

[marchingfluterino]

do u guys think the same kinda shit goes on in dci as in marching band

[marchingfluterino]

the instruments as things i’ve heard them Actually Say during marching band, version 2.0

flute: brass those hapless fools

clarinet: i just swallowed a piece of reed

bass clarinet: (to our band director) daryl... can i play the contrabass clarinet (bd: no)

sax: (with the same usage as lit or awesomesauce) sweet beans!

trumpet: (soloist / section leader doesn’t have his instrument together in time to start the solo so he just scream-sings it)

mellophone: (said in a completely normal voice) noot noot.

trombone: (about his case, while wearing his trombone as a fucking Hat) just kick it out of the way man, i dont fuckin care

baritone: (section leader holds his instrument over his head and goes “wheeeeee!” in a high-pitched voice while walking to his dot)

sousaphone: (distant sousaphone voice, literally every game, when the drum majors have finally managed to get the section leader (who starts the stand tune)'s attention) let's go band??????

percussion: (while pushing the piano cart onto the field) nyyyyoooom

guard: the eights and eights is it called. or is that a card game. im in guard i forget

drum major: (with his voice a full octave higher than it usually is, after being accused by the staff of doing something to interfere with the long ranger) i didn’t do anything!!!

band director / staff: (in the most disgusted voice i’ve ever heard in my entire life) roll your feet

[marchingfluterino]

the gangs all here: brian, corduroy, sir lancelot doot lac, and Nasty Susan

[marchingfluterino]

last wednesday practice for this season things:

before practice i was at strategy club (basically dnd) with annabeth and matt and mason the fuckboy showed up and called us nerds

so i just go “you’re — you’re in marching band. you’re a nerd”

and he tries to tell me that pit isnt Uncool like the Rest of marching band

but annabeth and matt shut him down lmao

later miguel brought like the hottest hot sauce in the world or something and mason had a tiny tiny tiny bit and fucking DIED it was HILARIOUS

i mean i too wouldve died but i have sensory issues so like. not quite the same thing

then when quinn showed up he got like five times the amount mason had had and ate it with a completely straight face, looking mason Directly in the eyes

matthew actually SHOWED UP to the flute and clarinet sectional...... amazing

we were joking w max abt him being in the cavaliers bc he was wearing a cavs jacket and being all sarcastic abt it all like “wait max are you in the cavaliers????? :OO i didnt know that!!!!!!!!!!!!” (when we had known for ages) and

max, turning around to show “the cavaliers” on the back of his jacket: i don’t know what you’re talking about

he was also wearing a dw shirt!!!!!! and like that isnt all that surprising bc a) hannah watches dw which i already knew and i watch dw with my dad so probably hannah watches it with max b) i mean this is marching band we’re all nerds. max is in the cavaliers hes like a professional nerd

but like. dw was my special interest / hyperfixation before band was, twice actually, so.

i actually was wearing a dw shirt at the time so it sorta just went

me, probably yelling: hey max! i like ur shirt!

me: realizes i have a dw shirt on at abt the same time as max next speaks and looks down at the shirt

max: basically just says “i like ur shirt too”

mattias got a new stupid looking hat: winter edition

when we got to the stadium eric took like three whole minutes to put on this tiny ass fuckin jacket that was like way too small for him and really really form fitting lmao

i watched devon yeet his hat halfway across the fuckin field

like that isnt unusual like. at all for devon but it was still funny

when we were over at the stadium it got super fuckin cold

like im talking it was cold to the point where i started putting my flute in my windsuit jacket literally every break we got. like we were told to reset and id just shove my flute into my jacket

(best part is u couldnt tell it was in there unless it was stickin out)

but like it was fuckin FREEZING

like sams pinky got frozen to the bE key on his flute

i swear im gonna teach myself to play flute w gloves on like. god

[marchingfluterino]

the marching band instruments as Things I Have Actually Heard Them Say

flute: brass those hapless fools

clarinet: i just swallowed a piece of reed

bass clarinet: *calls normal clarinets "squeaky lil sticks"*

saxophone: sweet beans

trumpet: "did you watch the browns game on sunday" (section leader) "we're not talking about that. we're talking about pengu"

mellophone: *in a completely normal voice* noot noot.

trombone: *wearing their trombone as a hat*

baritone: *section leader leaves their instrument iN THE RAIN*

sousaphone: *distant sousaphone voice, literally every game, when the drum majors have finally managed to get the section leader's attention* let's go band??????

percussion: *trying and failing to lift the shortest kind in band who's like almost half their size* aaaaaaa sivenyaim too weak

color guard: the eights and eights is it called. or is that a card game. im in guard i forget

drum major: (in a voice an octave higher than it usually is, being accused by the staff of doing something to the speaker next to him) "i didnt do anything!!!!"

band director: is that the loudest you can play? *everyone looks at each other*