MY 50TH FUCKING BIRTHDAY BASH!!
A star-studded cavalcade of debauchery, Geritol, and Adult Diapers! Tickets for my 50th Birthday BASH show are on sale now, and you're invited!! Share, share, share this fuckers!! I’m gonna be 50, which makes YOU really fucking old!! That's right fuckers, The Ol’ General here is turning 50 and I’m thrilled to let you know that when you get to this age, you too will know the joy of wiping your ass at least 10 times a day because you now have “leaky-butt-syndrome”. Whoever invented Cottonelle Butt Wipes deserves the goddamn Nobel Peace Prize!! - Hell, I’m still 49 and I’m gonna have to start doing Kegel Exercises for my anus just to slow down the leaking!! - Thank fuck I stopped that horrible Vegan Diet, or my butthole would be hanging down lower than a cow’s utters! - In fact, my taint now hangs lower than my balls!! - I need a fucking Selfie Stick to read my iPhone if I can’t find my reading glasses. - My tits are bigger than my wives. - And when you get to this age, you can buy your other 50-year-old-friends like Fuckin Joe Cabral gifts like Testosterone Cream! W00T W00T!! - In fact, you'll try ridiculous things like, jerking off with Testosterone Cream! Most of you will complain that you live way too fucking far away from Oakland to even show up, but hey, spend some money you cheap fucks!!! It’ll be the best time of your life!! There are folks flying out from Belgium, Greece and the U.K. so come on down, rage with us, and celebrate The Flynnanigan's!!
#flynnanigans
** Soundcheck VIP's "upgrades" available on MONDAY!!** Ticket in the link below: http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?eventId=7431725&dispatch=loadSelectionData
