#fmdxsamsoo

[durifmdarchived]

@fmdxsamsoo!

         duri wasn’t entirely sure what to do right now. for a long while now at the “after party” at the restaurant, someone’s manager had been constantly sending alcohol his way and giving him eyes that he didn’t quite understand. he couldn’t reject the alcohol because that would be rude, but it was something that he would have to give to others because duri wasn’t a drinker in the slightest. it was something that he just stayed away from because he didn’t like and there was other personal reasons that had gone into his choice. most people had found in strange, but if he could describe his reasons as to why, the understanding might be there. maybe the manager was just being nice! but, most people would probably say that they liked him. 

he had made his way elsewhere inside of the restaurant after sitting on his own to eat; getting some air for the numerous amount of people that were around. he liked being around people, but in such a setting like they were currently in, it almost felt like he couldn’t breath because of the amount of people. though, at some point, he had finally found a familiar face. “ah, samsoo!” duri says, his smile growing wider. “hi!” he greets. “for the past thirty minutes, somebody’s manager has been sending me alcohol and i keep accepting it even though i don’t drink...that’s not rude, right?” he questioned, before saying something else. “they also keep giving me these really strange eyes and i don’t know if it’s supposed to mean something?” duri was oblivious to what most people referred to as “bedroom eyes.” 

[fmdjoosungarchive]

so far, this was the best party joosung had ever been to. probably ten more of his role models had legitimate contacts in his phone, and he’d been able to dance as long and as unrefined as he liked the whole night. he was happy. then he saw samsoo.

he looked for an escape route, wanting to slip into the crowd and avoid having to talk to samsoo. but it was too late. it looked like he’d spotted joosung. with a deep breath, he stitched on a smile and made his way over to greet his old friend. “hey--,” he stopped himself, as he noticed soo swaying, and gripped a hand over his shoulder to keep him steady. “too much partying for you?” even joosung felt like he was starting to wind down by that point in the night; he shouldn’t be surprised.

[fmdxblue]

13. kihyun

WHAT MY MUSE THINKS OF KIHYUN.

Kihyun was one of the first person Blue was drawn to when debuting with Unity. From sitting next to one another in every car ride to interviews to dancing together in music videos, the two became fast friends. Finding humor in the same comedy to being able to eat the same food; the two are close to one another, and Blue is lucky to have a friend like Kihyun in the group. Another quality Blue appreciates about Kihyun is his innocence. As mentioned about Yunyeong, that is a quality on any person that he appreciates, for it is a quality Blue was never given a chance to possess due to his upbringing. From his optimism to his bright smiles, Blue holds onto those moments dearly. As of recent, Kihyun has confessed to being infatuated by Blue, which he finds difficult to digest due to him only ever seeing Kihyun as a friend. He also does not want to jeapordize unity’s….unity due to pursuing a romantic relationship with Kihyun. That is why Blue will insist that he and Kihyun remain friends in order to keep everything order. He does not want to lose one of his closest friend. 

[fmdxkit-blog]

a reader lives a thousand lives.

➳ @fmdxsamsoo

bookstores. kit has a funny relationship with the public setting. 

before, he only ever entered one for manga. naruto. inuyasha. one piece. fairy tale. the typical shonen, adventure series that spawned over thirty issues. allowances were religiously spent on owning ever volume. after spending thousands, his vast manga collection was trapped in his room in Boston and he severely lacks any reading material that are not pamphlets for new club openings.

the aesthetic vibe of organized shelves warmed kit's chest. the peace and quiet atmosphere differs from his usual loud and chaotic lifestyle but he appreciates it. he follows the end of an aisle, then turns and glides down another, searching for anything of his liking. he needs a novel that will take him away from being cooped up in his and kangjun's disheveled room. 

"hey, excuse me." kit nears a figure he assumes is an employee due to a pretty hefty pile in his arms. "do you have any recommendations? wait-" his eyebrows lift, the white of his eyes wide as his jaw hangs ajar and he is hit with familiarity. "you don't work here." then humiliation. "i'm such an idiot, wow. i did not recognize you. i'm sorry!"

[kianfmd-blog]

not supposed to know. w/sam

timeline: around 2011, few months before alien’s debut with: sam ( @fmdxsamsoo ) tw: self-loathing, self-harm

the company building stood high and mighty. it was like a mountain with miniatures surrounding it, like barriers or little knights protecting a kingdom. its structure was conspicuous, one that would make you wonder what happened inside. all kinds of people walked in. young, old, with ids, with backpacks. jungjin stepped in with a backpack.

this building, ironically, was home to jungjin. it was warm inside. whether it was his dream’s comfort or the people he talked to everyday, it lubricated the edges of his aunt’s words. specific words pushed into him, hurting more than a dagger could, to break him down.

( ‘good luck chasing your bullshit dream. even if you do debut, i doubt anyone would give you a listen.’ )

he left with a concealed bruise on his right side, on his rib cage just below his chest. it stung with every movement. walking was a struggle. dancing... dancing made him cry. tears welled up in the corner of his eyes. jungjin loathed pausing their training for his sake but soon, he collapsed and everything blacked.

“i just need to use the toilet,”

there were concerned questions, lingering hands, but jungjin stormed his way out.

( even the toilet was warm. the tiles, the sink—comforted him like no other. )

jungjin wept there, the reflection of his wet hideous face adding fuel to his roaring hatred. hatred for himself. hatred for his weakness. hatred for jungjin. he was clad with sweatpants—everyone was—but the skin beneath the cotton itched.

( one bruise, one cut. )

pushing and locking himself into a cubicle, jungjin slumped down and pulled the soft sweatpants down, just above his kneecaps. there were scars, wounds. some were new, some healing. the long lines squirmed there, begging to be added, begging for attention. jungjin heard them. his tears were food for them, his weakness the feast. he needed to feed them.

then he pulled it—the blade—out of his pocket.

[fmdxblue]

klee

klee: in a library full of books, which five will you never get sick of rereading?

Please Look After Mom — Published 2008, Minwoo was fifteen when a neighbor allowed the teenager to burrow the novel. Everyone in the city was talking about the novel; however, there was not enough cash in his pocket to purchase the book alone. He would travel the city, watching people at cafes flipping through the pages, tempted to approach them to steal the book. Minwoo, though, was not one to steal. Luckily, his neighbor back in his childhood house owned the novel, and she was willing to let the young boy read the book. Once done, he sat in his room, holding the novel close to his chest as tears cascaded. He saw a part of his mother in the character, and he felt sorry for the woman who lost her life the day she married his father. Minwoo picked up the book the day he discovered his mother passed away. Holding the book, he ran with it, and he moved into the city leaving all behind. That book, though, still remains part of his life. 

Human Acts: A Novel — Published 2014, the novel tells a story of a young boy who was murdered in the midst of a South Korean uprising. During this year, Minwoo still lived in a crowded slum alongside various other teenage runaways, while his closest friends were performing to become the greatest upcoming idols. He was also recovering from a heartbreak that left him feeling helpless and unworthy of any hope and romance. The novel spoke to him on a personal level, for it is a story unfolding a message that elicits a need for people who have been brutalized by society to become an active voice. Having been mistreated by society since a young boy, this novel drives Blue today to promote awareness with his newfound status as an idol, especially with a group so inclusive and united to help. 

     Naming two other novels will not be possible for Blue. As a child who slacked in school, he struggles to foster an interest in reading, for he often struggles to understand a number of words. He dropped out of school at the age of fourteen, and he never returned to complete his studies. When living in Seoul, he was working three part-time jobs in hopes of finding stability to eventually return to school, but as an idol, he no longer has the interest to return. Of course, he does make an effort to teach himself the language and mathematics, as well as other topics, but to become the best with education will not happen. Blue lacks education; however, he is not dumb. He is street smart. 

[fmdjunsu]

@fmdxsamsoo

“You want to do a collaboration?” Well, he didn’t mind doing a collaboration with the male. They were going have to discuss of what they were going to be doing and plan everything out relating to the collab. They were going have to figure out what days worked with them as their schedules could become hectic. Also, when to make an announcement about their collaboration for the public to know and what to look forward with it. “I’d like to and it’ll probably end up being fun for the both of us. Though, we’re going have to plan everything out for this collaboration.”

[fmdhyejuarchive]

it was moments like this where hyeju felt lucky to have a childhood friend in the industry with her. she was also thankful that soo didn’t complain when she called him out to the han river at this ungodly hour, but this was the only way they wouldn’t be caught. there were several people out at this time, but they were all either too drunk to realize who was around them or too caught up in one another to care. 

tugging the hat lower, she leaned back onto the bench and took a look at the night sky. it’s not like there were any stars with how bad the air pollution was, but it was just nice to be able to sit down and not worry about anything. surely, the worries would come back along with the sun, but for now hyeju decided that she would stop being concerned about things that may never even happen. 

“thanks for joining me. i still don’t have any friends except for you, soo. sad, isn’t it?” she said with a low chuckle. 

@fmdxsamsoo